EmperorR Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Amost like 7 months to the day since my ex fiancé cheated and left me I get dumped again. Yesterday when it happened I didn't feel so bad, went to bed early and then had nightmares woke up and was crying. Not only that I basically got dumped the same way again through a text message COWARDS. And it just brought back everything from my ex fiancé and this it's like I'm dealing with double heartbreAk. I feel like I'm cursed or something like 7 months to the day almost the same way, now I know why people remain single.
Author EmperorR Posted April 1, 2009 Author Posted April 1, 2009 Just 3 months but I knew her for like 5 years, which sucks because I can't go back to just friends
DJMarky Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 You started dating again after your fiancée, which shows you did move on. You have dealt with your loss. You do not have to deal with it again because something similar happened. Right now you are just being reminded of your misfortunes, don't think of it like a double heart break. I am sure you will be back on track faster than you realise. Right now it seems like you are back at square one, only because you are going through the 'why me?' phase. It's happened more than once and it hurts. It's like any time in your life where a bad situation repeats itself or you get a string of bad luck, you start wondering why it is happening to you, but only because it has all come at short intervals. Hang in there!
gutted1 Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 I'm thinking that you maybe need to do what i'm now starting to do. . . . . dont get so involved so soon!! What you need to do is enjoy your life and keep things light hearted, if you start seeing someone don't see them too often and continue to live your life and do things on your own, get closer and attached if you continue to see this person for a longer period of time. Dont be too desperate for something serious. I always fall in love at the drop of a hat but i've learnt this is because of codependancy which isn't good, so what i've been doing is working on myself and making me my priority, you need to learn to love yourself and then you will be able to take or leave anothers love because no matter what you will be happy. From now on i've decided on having a 6 month seeing phase with my next girl. . . that means no 'i love you's' or any of that till after the 6 month phase. also i'm not gonna overdose on my next girl, better to have rations and keep the excitement:)
Author EmperorR Posted April 4, 2009 Author Posted April 4, 2009 I still feel a little like trash, but I'm getting over it better and better each day, I refuse to be downgraded to friend zone. I refuse to not eat, act like a whimp. My ex fiancee left me for another man, and I got over that, and I loved her more than life itself, thats the only thing keeping me going, I did it once I can do it for this when I wasn't cheated on . Slaps myself I can do this.
melissa123 Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Hey there!! I TOTALLY know how you feel! my story is quite similar to yours! And I to feel cursed! My first ex dumped me on Dec 1st then two weeks later I found out he had a new gf Dec, 15th. Eventaully I moved on with my good friend of about 5 years but then he to dumped me the next year on Dec 1st and on Dec 15th I find out he is dating my bestfriend!!!! So I understand! I feel worthless, I feel like an unlovable ugly piece of ccrap! I dont really know how to make you feel better as Im still hurting from all this but I wanted to let you know your not alone I really hope things get better for us!
Montclair0011 Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 EmperorR - I know how you feel. I had something similar, although I waited about two years before dating again (working on myself) after my husband left me. My subsequent boyfriend was so different than my husband, but when it came to dumping, it just seemed to be a variation on the same cowardly theme. The quiet, almost imperceptible withdrawal and then the sudden announcement of leaving and then BOOM, gone. It felt so deja vu-ish! Could be we are so scarred from the first major event that we have PTSD or just more likely to take it harder with all the flashbacks. I guess I thought that it was unlikely that lighting would strike twice. But, when it did I felt like such a stupid looser. It's been a couple of months now and I'm still heartbroken but starting to date again a little. This time I feel much more guarded and fearful. Don't know how that will affect my next relaltionship outcome. Stay tuned.
sedgwick Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 How were you able to be dumped by someone you wanted to marry, have your heart crushed, and then fall in love again in three months? I am amazed that people can do this! I've been trying to recover from a breakup for almost two years now and can't even imagine dating anyone else. I'm just not ready.
Author EmperorR Posted April 5, 2009 Author Posted April 5, 2009 The feeling sucks, I'm not even looking forward to dating again, I know no risk no reward, but this pain is getting almost unbearable for me, it took me like a good 7 months to just stop thinking of my ex, and now with this again, the same memories emotions are clouding my vision. Even though it was only 3 months, it still stings like 3 years with my ex fiancee, I guess the length doesn't matter just really the effort and emotions you had for the person.
Peter_pan Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 The feeling sucks, I'm not even looking forward to dating again, I know no risk no reward, but this pain is getting almost unbearable for me, it took me like a good 7 months to just stop thinking of my ex, and now with this again, the same memories emotions are clouding my vision. Even though it was only 3 months, it still stings like 3 years with my ex fiancee, I guess the length doesn't matter just really the effort and emotions you had for the person. hey man, yeah this is true, i also dated a girl after 3 months and although i was glad i wasnt with her in the end, it conjured up all sorts of memories and pain and as you said, feels like a double blow to the heart. as you know things get better in time, so just hang in there and do things to make yourself feel good
Melrapuo Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 EmperorR Everything you have said and gone through is exactly like what I've been through. It's almost scary. - Dated a girl for almost two years, who left me for someone else. She was also a self-cutter. - Started dating a new girl, who just dumped me Friday because she felt the relationship wasn't working. One day she would tell me how great of a boyfriend I was, how she never felt this way towards anyone before. Said I was "perfect, but not perfect for her." That only lasted for 3 months. It stings just as bad, but I'm not taking it as bad as I did the first break up. I want her back, but I think that's only because I'm afraid of being single again. It's an odd spot to be in. Scary, huh? PM me if ya ever wanna talk, cuz this is kinda scary coincidental lol.
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