Da Supastar BL Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 So me and my ex broke up in December. We were going out for a year and a couple months. We were each other's 1st love. Come to think of it, I didnt even like him at 1st..we were friends..he pursued me..even said he loved me 1st. We broke up because we were fighting so much and he wasn't going to change for the better. He basically treated me like crap in the end. He didnt fight for me or meet me half way like I did for him. I was there for him when he needed me and he wasnt there for me when I needed him the most. So why be with someone when I deserve better you know? I was prepared for the break up because I saw it coming and knew that things weren't going to work out. So I had my mind set to move on. I even went out on a date even though I was not over him. I still loved and cared about him and he was always going to be my #1 guy if things ever worked out between us again. We were still talking to each other everyday after the break up so like cut to 2 weeks later he starts pleading for us to hangout, telling me he still loves me and misses me, how he ****ed up the relationship and wanted to make things better. At 1st I was guarded and didn't want to hangout with him. But eventually I gave in which was probably the biggest mistake because I actually thought things would work out and I should of just kept moving forward. So basically when we started hanging out again it was back to the same crap and he didnt show me any signs of even changing for the better. So around February he told me he didnt want to be in a relationship and that we should be friends. So I agreed. But you know how you can never be friends? The next day he would tell me how much he misses me and that he wanted to see me. It was like one big mind**** and him stringing me along. So by the beginning of March, he started to get distant. He started getting weird. I noticed him slipping away and it started being me talking to him 1st when it use to be him talking to me everyday. I realized something was up. I still had him on facebook/myspace and I noticed he gave this girl his number. I even told him before look if your going to start talking or dating around again..at least let me know so I wont be blindsided because I would tell you if I did..I'd rather hear it from you then someone else. His answer was "yeah I would tell you". Biggest BS ever! Of course he wouldnt tell me..he's a guy! So I eventually asked him about that girl and he started telling me how that girl was his "friend's girl" but I didnt believe it. The next week I see her commenting him how she wanted to see him. I later found out from his friend that he was talking to that girl already. I was devastated. He straight up lied to me. He started ignoring me whenever I told him to be completely honest so I went to his house and confronted him about it and he was basically beating around the bush and acting immaturely saying things like "I GUESS I am talking to someone if somebody told you that right? Who do you believe? I guess it must be true then" sarcasticly saying the same **** over and over again and basically couldnt even get a straight yes or no answer. So I left and said my goodbyes. That was the last time I saw him. That night I sent him a closure letter on myspace basically telling him how I felt about everything and how we couldn't be friends. Typical of him..he didnt write back..I didnt expect him too. The best thing to do was to let him go. I kept telling myself I cant have contact with him but I didnt know it was this hard. I deleted his number (even though i know it by heart) and eventually deleted him off facebook/myspace. It made me sick seeing comments between him and his new chick. I mean how can he move on so quick?! How can he go from talking to me everyday to not even giving a **** about me anymore?! I was not prepared for it. I was not prepared for him to move on at all. For the past 2 weeks he's texted me and aimed me a couple of times. He was mad that his friend told me the truth and mad at me for asking him! And last wed he texted and aimed me asking me if I deleted him off facebook/myspace. I ignored him. He hardly goes on aim anymore and if he does its usually to ask me something. The next day he aims me again. I ignored him for 2 hrs and he would say crap like "you and i both know you see this **** and your ignoring it..all good though..peace" acting all mad. So like a dumbass I texted him to see what he wanted. He asks me the same crap if I deleted him. So I told him "yeah I did for weeks now..you just noticed..why do you care if I did?" and he tells me "it is what it is..just wanted to know..enjoy your day..later" and I was like "i thought you wanted me out of your life and thats what i was trying to do..ya know" and he tells me "no i dont know" and im like "i hope your not mad..hope your doing good in your life..later" and he ends it with "yup take care". Then 2 days ago he aims me asking me "whats up". I ignored him. Then today for some reason I texted him asking him how he was which I later regret doing because he didnt even respond back. I noticed we were still on the same network on facebook even though I deleted him and I had the urge to click on his page. Its like a ****ing disease. I think he was talking about me in 2 of his status's recently. One was him saying "only tried when we should let go" and the other was about me being a "drama queen" which I think is funny because I been trying to leave him alone. And it killed me all over again with all the comments with this girl and knowing there hanging out. I totally got off that network. He's totally digging this girl even if their not official yet. All my friends keep telling me "im pretty sure he still cares about you and isnt over you..if he's still getting mad about crap and is still contacting you then he still cares..i bet he goes back to you if it doesnt work out with other girls" blah blah. But im like "NO HE"S MOVED ON!" and thats what I keep telling myself. I know I'm going to eventually bump into him and see him around again because we both have mutual friends and hang around the same group..ugh. I'm determined to move on but I feel like im back on square one again with the healing process. Knowing he's with someone else now hurts more than the break up. Honestly I miss him everyday. I've stopped crying but i still wake up in pain, hurt, and heartbroken everyday. He's still like the 1st person I think about when I go to sleep/wake up. I dont know why im so hung up on him when I didnt even think he was the one! I think most of it is because he moved on 1st, im lonely, theres no one else, and I lost it to him and he was my 1st love?? As selfish as it sounds, I wanted to move on 1st! I just need to start thinking about the bad times and how much of an ******* he ended up being. Sometimes I find myself hating him. I can't believe I dated such a loser. Damn it..I just want to get over him! I didnt think it'd be this hard. He's moved on so why can't I?! Starting today..I'm determined to go NC with him. It's going to be hard but I really need to.
DJMarky Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 You should have gone NC a long time ago. Why are you seeing him in person? Who cares if he is with another girl, he isn't your problem any more! My ex was ****ing another guy while we were going out, but I got advice here just after the break up and went NC as best as I could and have not seen her since. I deleted her off facebook, block and deleted off msn and ignore all her phone calls. I don't want to be tempted to look at her facebook and see pictures of them together, or anything! As hard as it sounds you have to go NC for everything, even aim. Every time you talk to him you are going backwards, not forwards. Sure, he may be talking to another girl, but so what? You aren't dating him anymore, he is allowed to, as hard as it sounds, he has no obligation to care about your feelings. Showing him that it bothers you is letting him know he still has power over you and you are still thinking about him and getting jealous! Do not show him that! GO NC! DO NOT SMS, CALL OR ANYTHING YOU WILL ONLY REGRET IT!
Author Da Supastar BL Posted April 2, 2009 Author Posted April 2, 2009 Okay update... So today I was taking a nap in the afternoon and I missed a call from someone. Someone left me a voice message saying "hey im just calling to see how you were doing..hope your doing alright..ttyl..alright bye". I couldnt tell who it was or even recognize the voice so I decided to call back. Low and behold..it was him. I was thinking oh ****..ahh fml..a million things were running through my mind. Should I hang up? Should I talk to him calmly? Should I be pissed off? Why the **** is he calling me? We actually havnt talked on the phone in awhile. He called me from his house phone which I thought was weird. I dont know his house number by heart. So he picked up and I was like "whose this?" and he's like "its me..did you just wake up?" and im like "yeah i did" and i was like "your voice sounds different" and he starts laughing and is like "That's because you havnt talked to me in awhile" and im like "you sound sick" and he's like "yeah im kinda sick..so how are you?" and im like "did you get my text last night?" and he's like "no my phone is off disconnected" (which I think is a lie because why would he call me the next day when i just texted him last night?). Anyways I told him "im good..im going to be busy today" and he's like "what are you going to do today" and im like "just things for school and i have to meet up with study partners at barnes and nobles or this guy's house" and he's like "oh okay" and im like "so how are you" and he said he was good. I had nothing else to say so out of nowhere I just asked him "so are you happy with her?" and he starts laughing and dodges the question twice and says "uh i just wanted to call you to see how you were and im going to go exercise now" and im like "well i hope your happy with her..i hope she makes you happy" and he's like "okay" and i just ended it with me saying "uhh i guess i'll see you around..bye" and he said his bye too. That was that. All the things I wanted to say to him were thrown right out the window once I knew it was him that called. I dont know why I acted calm about everything when I really wanted to tell him off and say why the **** are you still talking to me when you've moved on to someone else?! and not to contact me anymore. Everyone is like "see he's still contacting you because he cares and it wont be the last time". Last night I had my mind set to move on and today he calls out of the blue. I swear its like a god damn sensor with guys. You have your mind set and it just sucks you right back in. It's funny how he still cant admit about the girl. He knows damn well I know whats going on. I already accepted the fact that he moved on to someone else so might as well just be honest about everything. Can't do anything about it. But everytime he contacts me, I keep getting set back. I just want to keep moving forward and thats what I'm going to do. Should I tell him to stop contacting me? Ehh I don't even feel talking to him anymore or even bother calling him. I'm trying to move on with my life.
sedgwick Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 You can always ignore him if he tries to contact you. Sounds like that would be the best course of action.
Recommended Posts