Her body...

[entityzero]

I dont know what to say now.

This whole post has made me feel worse about my healing these last 4 or 5 months.

I thought id moved on somewhat but maybe not at all?

I just miss her so f**king much and its so unfair to my current girl.

What the hell do i do now?

[kizik]

You break up with the new girl and take some time to reflect on lessons learned from the Tits Girl.

[mental_traveller]

I miss it so much.

Its not even like i miss HER so much anymore, just her amazing body.

I never thought i'd be with someone with such an amazing figure, she was small, tight, curvy, tanned.. just gorgeous... even though she thought she was ugly, she never accepted my compliments.

 

So its been 5 months since the break up, shes still with my "friend", I still burn at the thought of them "happy" together.

 

But im happier now, im seeing a new girl and shes great, but she doesnt have the amazing little body i pine for so much.

 

Am i just being shallow? Does it matter my new girl doesnt have the same figure?

Does it matter that mostly everything about my ex is wrong for me, and that i ignored all the red flags at the start of the relationship because she was so hot?

 

Will i ever get over her perfect boobs?

 

Who cares if it's shallow, what's wrong with that? Physical attraction is at least 75% how hot you find someone's body IMO. I mean, that's what you are going to be having sex with each day for the rest of your life if things work out.

 

Looks like you found a hottie who you didn't get along with. So keep looking and find someone with just as hot a body that you actually have a personality match with as well. Don't settle otherwise you will be forever remembering how your ex was better.

[mental_traveller]

<sigh>

Why did I even bother?

 

I get the point, im a selfish, shallow man-child who doesnt deserve anything.

 

Don't be dumb.

 

Physical chemistry is essential to a hot sex life which is essential to a lasting relationship. A woman either gives you an instant boner when you look at her naked, or she doesn't. If she doesn't, then it doesn't matter how beautiful she is, or how nice a person she is, it's not going to work.

 

I am talking from experience here. You can either listen to me, a man who knows exactly how you feel, or you can listen to a bunch of women who have never had sex with a woman or felt attraction to one in that way. Your call.

[Ruby Slippers]

All I can say is I'm really glad I'm not your girlfriend.

[sedgwick]

You can either listen to me, a man who knows exactly how you feel, or you can listen to a bunch of women who have never had sex with a woman or felt attraction to one in that way. Your call.

 

So you know all about the past sex lives of every woman in this thread? Interesting that you managed not to know about my three ex-girlfriends...I would have (that's would HAVE, not would OF) liked to know the ways in which I wasn't attracted to them, because I sure thought I was!

 

All I can do at this point is beg you, OP, seriously, to break up with the new girlfriend. She deserves someone who thinks SHE'S hot. Let her find that person, and obsess over your ex's breasts until you're done with it and ready to appreciate the beauty of another woman.

[Justanotherschmuck]

what the f*ck?!?!?!?!?!?!

 

 

 

I think I need anti-nausea medication. Does anyone have any Dramamine?

 

Oh God, the drama starts.

 

Good thing you know where that anorexia site is. Can learn something about people who think vomiting is always the first resort to stress.

 

You need more than dramamine.

[sedgwick]

Oh God, the drama starts.

 

Good thing you know where that anorexia site is. Can learn something about people who think vomiting is always the first resort to stress.

 

You need more than dramamine.

 

I'm sorry you feel that way! Have a great day!

[flash582]

Dude ... I know you hurt.

 

I wish I had a magic potion or a big secret to share ....

 

I don't ... only time will heal you.

[boldjack]

Well, this has turned, pretty much, into a "battle of the sexes" thread, so I'm off to do something constructive.

[alwayssme]

I dont know if this thread should make me feel good or bad...

I was always told by guys everything u described. Im small, curvy, got little waste and perfect figure..blah...physical attraction never kept my ex around..guess my personality must be that horrible ...

 

 

Okay I'll take this thread as a compliment...What else did you ex have?/ nice dark long hair?? Okay I got that...So other girls will have that too..But looks shouldnt matter at all...It is all about how you feel about the person...

 

 

Okay now I feel like crap reading this thread...because it was the words my ex and guys I ahve liked have told me but yet the one I loved with all my heart still left me... But back to you..I hope you get over the physical attraction.

[SomeCAGuy]

I don't think you're doing anything wrong to your current gf. If she doesn't know about it or if she does and it doesn't bother her, then there is no harm, in my opinion.

 

If it's JUST a physical thing you have tied back to your ex, then it's ok to feel the way you do.

 

Some women on here say that they would never want to be your girlfriend, but if you're a desirable person then women will want to be with you and will put up with it. In the end, if she can last through it, she'll have someone entirely dedicated to her.

 

However this works out, you need to draw your confidence and happiness from something other than a relationship. You don't need a woman to make you happy or make you feel special; you should have things in your life that make you feel that way regardless of who you are with. Women should only enhance those feelings and are not the source of them.

[SomeCAGuy]

"And right now all of them are not nearly as attractive as they were when we dated, in fact, I'm the better looking one by far. Guys have an advantage in this because we can look better as we get older, this is MUCH harder for women to do."

 

oh really, some stupid CA Guy? you want to know what I think... I think that some men.. not all, thank God... are all about their precious and oh-so-fragile egos that after a while they become seriously delusional...

 

seriously, get a grip dude.. have you not learned anything from all the stupid age posts on here lately?

 

hey Sedgewick.... got any extra Dramamine?

I don't read a lot of posts on here, only come around once in a while...

 

However, men have egos, much more than women. They tie their self worth to their career, their woman, and eventually their children.

 

If any of those cracks it's a terrible blow to a man, but they can get over it and they should build a stronger self-image.

 

But I still stand by my argument that men age better than women and it's something he can use to make himself feel better. I'm sorry if my comments come across as arrogance rather than confidence, but I'm trying to relate to the OP To make him feel better....I've been there, you get over it, and you come out a better person.

[entityzero]

Thanks theres some really good non-judgemental advice here.

Once again im sorry if this thread has upset anyone, I really really want to stress that im not the type of guy whos ONLY attracted to a certain body type, its just im having trouble letting go of my ex physically and I feel thats stopping me truly getting over her.

 

Im actually seeing a psychologist at the moment so I might run this past him, i've been so busy talking to him about everything else that came with this breakup that I havent really mentioned this to him, its just over the last couple of weeks or so it's really been on my mind.

 

Has anyone else here been exactly where I am where you KNOW your ex and you werent right for each other (at least at this point in your life) but you still fantasize about her to the point you cant get over her?

 

Or is it just that 4 - 5 months isnt enough time to get over someone you loved so much regardless of their appearance?

[GodofNietzsche]

Yes, I am very much like you.

 

It is hard and it sucks. Besides physical appearance, I recognize nothing of value in my ex. Yet I still think about her.

 

She had a great body, a former gymnast. But, she was a leech. Physically, emotionally, and financially. As she told me, her dream is to become a trophy wife, so she can sit back on her #ss and drink all day long. That is her goal. That is her ambition. And if this is who she is, I question myself for still wanting someone like her. I question MYSELF. That is where it begins.

 

But the truth is, I don't care so much about her physical appearance. I care about how much she hurt me. How much she used. How much she betrayed me. How much she used me as an emotional band aid to get through a difficult period in her life. I feel used and abused, and that is hard to get over. And I think you feel the same for yourself. You feel betrayal. Not only did she leave you, but for a friend. That is BETRAYAL.

 

But I have learned. People are selfish beasts. They do what they want without consideration for others. It is a sad and true tale. They lie. They make excuses. They justify their behavior.

 

There are people of value in this world. But looks are irrevelant to their value. That's what you need to find. That is what I believe I have found. I still need to work through the mental bull#hit of my ex's physical nature. BUT, I will never, never ever, let that get in the way of pursuing a relationship with a person of value. I will not and can not. It will destroy my soul if I LET THAT HAPPEN.

 

Take care. Your life is in your hands.

[EmperorR]

People are selfish beasts, and they come in all shapes and sizes.

[sedgwick]

Or is it just that 4 - 5 months isnt enough time to get over someone you loved so much regardless of their appearance?

 

This. At 4-5 months I was still sobbing every day and barely able to eat. I cannot even imagine having dated someone new.

 

As she told me, her dream is to become a trophy wife, so she can sit back on her #ss and drink all day long. That is her goal.

 

Are you serious?!??! There are women who actually feel this way, let alone SAY it? Whoa.

[entityzero]

GodofNietzsche thats definatley a good point.

BETRAYAL is whats making this so hard coz despite the fact i pine for her she hurt me more than anyone else has ever, and as for him i could tear his throat out with my bare hands.

 

But you're right its the VALUE of the person that counts and if my new girlfriend had a pricetag on her I wouldnt ever be able to afford it, shes just the nicest most down to earth girl ever.

And i know she would never ever do what my ex did. Period.

 

Im just annoyed at myself that I cant seem to get over the hump and truly forget about her.

Her gorgeousness haunts me day and night.

And despite what she did I know if i was single and available and she came back i'd take her back in a second. And that makes me feel like s**t.

 

Sedgwick i know you've had a hard time and im sorry for that, and i also want to apologize for yesterday, I was out of line and had no right to belittle you like I did, it was a rough day for me so please dont take it personal.

[GodofNietzsche]

I have come to two firm conclusions in my life:

 

1. There is such a thing as the soul (whether religious, spiritual, etc.)

 

2, There is the possibility of losing your soul.

 

Don't lose yourself in another person. I did that for a long time, and I became a hideous beast. Not even my friends wanted to be around me.

 

I wish you well, and I understand what you feel. Guilt is the worst thing in the world. So many people around us treat us like #hit. So why would we, who come to website to feel better, treat each other like $hit? That makes NO SENSE!!!! STOP THIS!!! People hurt for different reasons. We are here to help, not project our own issues onto others. STOP THIS!!!!!

 

I hate the way I feel, but I feel what I feel. It is my issue to work out. If I reach out to others, it is because I want help (i.e. to improve myself). If you feel bad, that's fine. Feel bad. But don't drag others down with you. At least have the dignity to wallow in your own self pity.

 

There are problems, and then there is BULL#HIT!. Recognize which is which in your life.

[entityzero]

There are problems, and then there is BULL#HIT!. Recognize which is which in your life.

 

Are you saying that this isnt actually a real problem and its just some bulls**t in my head?

I mean, how can it be a real problem when the only thing i can do is work on it myself, I cant turn to my ex for help so it all just must be c**p in my head right?

[GodofNietzsche]

Unfortunately, it is mental rubbish. It is. I say this because I know this. A great pair of breasts is NOT A RELATIONSHIP. A relationship is the DYNAMIC between two people. Will those breasts make you feel better when you're down? Will they understand you, as a person, and make efforts to improve the relationship?

 

Yes, it is #ull****. Like it is in my head. But I recognize it.

 

I'm saying that you are losing yourself in how good she looked. ie. You as a person= how good she looked. What does that have to do with you? What does that have to do with how you act as a person? NOTHING!!!

 

My ex had a hard time dating (as good looking as she was). Fat, ugly guys would refuse to call her again after two weeks. Why? Because she sucked! She had great breasts, and no one could deny that. But, at the end of the day, how long do you interact with those breasts? Maybe 20 minutes? You gotta deal with the person and the relationship a lot longer.

[entityzero]

Well... they did comfort me alot actually haha... sad huh?

But you are right, an hour out of a whole week isnt enough, and she was emotionally draining coz she had very low self esteem, nightmares, was unconfident, hated her family, always stressed about work... shall i go on?

She could never show me the love back i gave to her, she was young and never really knew right from wrong coz her parents were so dysfunctional, i know i dont need that in a girlfriend but hell... its just so hard to let her go.

 

I know in my heart her hotness doesnt define me, but i was always so proud to have her on my arm and now shes with him...

It sucks

[Justanotherschmuck]

I'm sorry you feel that way! Have a great day!

 

 

So sincere.

[Ruby Slippers]

I know in my heart her hotness doesnt define me, but i was always so proud to have her on my arm and now shes with him...

It sucks

This is an ego problem that has to be overcome with introspection and maturing. The way to solve it is to develop a sense of value in YOURSELF -- you and you alone -- that has nothing to do with the body standing next to you. If this woman was any reflection of you and your personal value(s), she wouldn't have cheated on you and treated you so disrespectfully.

 

My ex was physically very attractive, incredible body, strong, mesmerizing eyes -- a real head turner. But in spite of his many good qualities, deep down he was a negative and insecure person, and being with him did not make me feel good about life and myself. I enjoyed the physical side of our relationship and the strong attraction, but in the end, when I looked at him in the big picture as a whole person, inside and out, I wasn't too crazy about what I saw.

 

The only thing that defines you is YOU.

[kizik]

I'm having a hard time not getting angry at this thread.

 

Entityzero-

 

you come off as pretty ungrateful. While many of us on here would LOVE to have a significant other, you DO have one, and yet you spend your time fantasizing about the waistline and tit size of your ex-GF.

 

I DO feel bad for your current GF, b/c most likely she has no idea that her BF is so stuck on his ex. If she DOES know and is cool with it, that's even more messed up.

 

It's really easy to become jaded and ungrateful for what you have. Perhaps you should step back and either appreciate your new GF, or let her go for her own sake.