Her body...

[SomeCAGuy]

I dated 3 different women who fell into this category, one was the "hot girl" in high school that everyone wanted and she never dated anyone until me, in college.

 

First one didn't really love me and moved on, and that took some adjustment because my friends from high school regarded her so highly, constant reminder, but you get over it.

 

Second one wanted to see other people, we became good friends (5 years after the breakup) and I hang out with her fiance more than her now.

 

Third one I married and divorced, we had a child together.

 

All 3 of them had incredible bodies, got noticed everywhere, and the sex was amazing. Getting over that lustful feeling is hard...but it helps if you think "I had them at the peak of their beauty, when everyone wanted them most." And right now all of them are not nearly as attractive as they were when we dated, in fact, I'm the better looking one by far. Guys have an advantage in this because we can look better as we get older, this is MUCH harder for women to do.

 

And at least you've had a girl with the perfect body, some guys don't get that chance.

 

15 years from now it won't matter how hot she was. It'll matter if you can trust the person you're with to always care for you and how well you raised your kids (if/when you have them).

 

If that doesn't help...I hope you have some videos, the kind that are NSFW, to look back on.

[tkgirl]

"And right now all of them are not nearly as attractive as they were when we dated, in fact, I'm the better looking one by far. Guys have an advantage in this because we can look better as we get older, this is MUCH harder for women to do."

 

oh really, some stupid CA Guy? you want to know what I think... I think that some men.. not all, thank God... are all about their precious and oh-so-fragile egos that after a while they become seriously delusional...

 

seriously, get a grip dude.. have you not learned anything from all the stupid age posts on here lately?

 

hey Sedgewick.... got any extra Dramamine?

[Trialbyfire]

everyone wanted them most.

This pretty much says it all. I've never understood the dog pile mentality where the betas chase what the alphas notice first.

[TheJoker]

Thankyou!

YES, all i want is to gain some perspective.

 

My ex hurt me so much, i've been confused and mentally f**ked up and its been hard for me to work out exactly what it is i want from a woman.

 

And i agree, i think this issue comes from my male instincts and not my head or heart, i know its wrong.

 

Please dont get me wrong, my new GF is so gorgeous, I just wish i didnt think about my ex at all anymore.

My new GF knows where she stands and that im not COMPLETELY over my ex but shes so strong, caring and supportive she's willing to help me through it.

I guess i just need a bit more time?

 

I think you need to pay more attention to your new gf, it wont be long before she gets upset with you thinking about your ex all the time. My advice would be get your ex out of your life if you want to stay with your new gf

[entityzero]

Thanks everyone, nice to know im not being witch hunted by everyone.

 

tkgirl you're right about the sex, it WAS amazing, i think coz she was so hot i just put alot of emphasis on it and yeah.. probably confused that for something else..

 

And yeah the other part of it is the jealousy of him being with her now, i hate it.

 

I have cut them both out of my life, but yeah recently have had to have some contact with her due to us sorting out the stuff from us living together, so i think that kinda keeps stoking the fire...

Shes always so nice to me when we talk like she did nothing wrong, i guess shes just over it and moved on.. but in some ways the nicer she is the more i pine for her..

 

Please dont think this is affecting my current relationship, I do find alot of things about my new girl really sexy.

even though she knows im not fully over things and understands, let me make it clear that i've kept the details of exactly WHAT im not over to myself, i would never tell her im subconsiously comparing her to my ex, i want to work on this on my own, move past it, and fully appreciate the girl infront of me, she really is worth it and i know that.

 

DJMarky i always appreciate your advice, and you're right no i couldnt see myself marrying this girl other than for shallow reasons, and I know looks fade.. which is why im kicking myself that i still want her physically.

 

And as for thinking about having them at the peak of their beuaty, you're right, i had her when she was 17, 18 and 19, when i knew at least 20 other guys who would of killed for that chance.... so yeah, i guess i'll always have that!

 

I just need to work really hard on this one guys, my new girl is amazing in so many other ways.

 

And sedgewick, maybe this thread isnt for you?

Im sorry it touches a nerve with you, but please vomit elsewhere, this is a real issue for me.

[sumdude]

Well it's hard not to compare. Both men and women do it when they move on to the next physical relationship (whether they admit it or not). Seems that it hasn't really been that long since the breakup and you're still in that phase. You say you're current GF is beautiful but she isn't what you're used to. You're just going to have to work at getting past it.

[entityzero]

Thanks sumdude!

You're right it hasnt been THAT long, only 4 months since break up and just over 3 of her actually being with him.

Plus all the messaging and organizing our stuff from living together.

 

Im definitely TRYING to move past this, once I do I think i'll finally be free of the thoughts of her.

[DJMarky]

Sedgwick: Like Edie. No E.

 

Would of: That'd be would HAVE.

 

Y'know what's the most unattractive attribute in a guy to me? Inability to spell. He can have a hot body all day long but if he doesn't know the difference between "of" and "have," and if he can't spell words that are right in front of him, game over.

 

I don't think he is personally asking you out on a date.

 

It is only natural to compare what you have to what you had. For example, if I got a new windsurfing board, I would compare it to my old one. If it doesn't perform as well then I will question as to why I am using it. Of course relationships are far more complex, but he is comparing just one aspect, who cares if it is physical, it doesn't make him any better or worse than you who would compare their grammar.

 

He didn't say, "I am breaking up with my current girlfriend because her body doesn't compare", he simply stated that he couldn't help but realise he was more attracted to his ex's body rather than his current, but that's it. It's like me comparing my new board to my old, I may think the new one isn't as attractive but in other categories it exceeds the old.

 

So he likes girls who are thin (there is a difference between thin and anorexic, so stop going down that path) you accuse him of being shallow? He can't have his personal opinion? It's called attraction, he can't help what he finds attractive. This is where you provide feedback (constructive criticism in your case) and point out whatever you feel the need to. Not take it as if he is personally attacking you. Attraction plays a huge role in a relationship (maybe not for you), and he wants to get past the stage of comparing his attraction to his current girl to his old, so I suggested he focuses on other aspects and once he forms a bond the attraction will increase, your suggestion was for all the other females to take medication and correcting spelling mistakes. Sorry if this seems harsh, I just find you are becoming overly critical and close minded.

[entityzero]

Thanks DJ, damn straight!

 

You're right, no where did i say i was unhappy with my new girl, nor did I say I was going to break up with her because of it.

Im not blaming her for what im missing in my ex, she is sooo much closer to me on an emotional and spiritual level and thats whats most important.

I just wanna point out I dont exclusively like girls who are thin, i've dated many girls who arent thin, its just my ex happened to be that way.

 

It really all does come back to the fact that someone i know (knew) is with her now and the jealousy I feel that he is enjoying her physically like I used to so much.

Although I did hear through a mutual friend that she or them, are not having anywhere near as much sex as we did coz he's always drunk or stoned.

Why she wants to be with him, i'll NEVER understand.

[flash582]

At the end of a long and sad day, that made me cry. Congratulations, I'm sitting at my desk f*cking sobbing. Hope you're happy with yourself.

 

Are you kidding?

 

You started this attack and now you're playing the "you made me cry" card.

 

You certainly belittled my post when all I wanted to do was to give him some food for thought based on WHERE HE WAS COMING FROM, and my comments were directed at him ... not at all woman kind.

 

Sedgwick ... We all make the mistake from time to time of forgetting that there are real live people at the end of these posts .... me included. I respect your feelings. I really do ... but ask yourself .... are you helping or just venting? Is your opinion of his feelings more important than helping him to see the world in a different light?

 

If your intent is to shock and make us think .. then I can respect that. If your intent is to make some of us feel like crap about ourselves, then I will have to respectfully disagree with your position.

[flash582]

Thanks DJ, damn straight!

 

 

Although I did hear through a mutual friend that she or them, are not having anywhere near as much sex as we did coz he's always drunk or stoned.

Why she wants to be with him, i'll NEVER understand.

 

Entity .... are you really missing her body because it was "perfect", or is that just a trick your mind is playing on you because your still hurting.

 

I mean ... your girl and your best friend ...

 

That sucks.

 

I've been there my friend .... and it took me a while to figure out that although I thought I was missing the sex, and her hair, and her this, and her that ..... etc. I was just hurting and not dealing with it.

 

Her and His relationship started with cheating ... have comfort that they will never be able to trust each other .... ever. And their relationship will suck because of it.

[entityzero]

Well as far as I know she didn't cheat, she might of had certain "feelings" but I know she didnt do anything with him until after we broke up.

 

It might of been very soon after we broke up, but not when we still a couple.

 

This has been confirmed by a few mutual friends aswell.

 

So does this mean their relationship didn't start toxic and they'll be happily ever after?

Or will he get whats coming to him for screwing me over as a friend?

 

Maybe im not dealing with it, it's a huge turd to swallow man, I loved her so much and me and him were mates for 8 years, and now he f**ks her in my old home... try dealing with that everyday.

 

I just wish soooooooooo bad i didnt care anymore.

[Flying Burrito]

EZ, I completely get this. My ex is also a head turner. Amy's face is beautiful but her body is freaking in another dimension of amazing.

 

I read what you said about thinking about your ex's body and sure enough, my ex's tits flashed in my head. I remembered the last time I had that ass in my hands. My mouth watered.

 

I think it's normal. I expect the picture I have in my head of Amy will be shower material the rest of my life.

[Flying Burrito]

Well as far as I know she didn't cheat, she might of had certain "feelings" but I know she didnt do anything with him until after we broke up.

 

It might of been very soon after we broke up, but not when we still a couple.

 

This has been confirmed by a few mutual friends aswell.

 

So does this mean their relationship didn't start toxic and they'll be happily ever after?

Or will he get whats coming to him for screwing me over as a friend?

 

Maybe im not dealing with it, it's a huge turd to swallow man, I loved her so much and me and him were mates for 8 years, and now he f**ks her in my old home... try dealing with that everyday.

 

I just wish soooooooooo bad i didnt care anymore.

Whoa. We were writing at the same time.

 

Yeah. All the perfect body stuff aside, you're not over your ex by A LOT. Careful with the new girl's heart there mate. Whatever your issues over the past are, you've got someone's heart in your hands now. Do right by her.

[entityzero]

God i thought i was getting over her, i thought i was doing better, that i was finally letting go and moving on.

But maybe it all does come back to the fact that im not over her at all.

 

F**K!

 

I know i have to be careful with my new girls heart, i never ever want to hurt her, not over this.

 

What the hell do I do to get her body out of my mind?

Why do I still f***ing love her after she hurt me so much?

[DJMarky]

What the hell do I do to get her body out of my mind?

Why do I still f***ing love her after she hurt me so much?

 

When you find the answer to those questions let me know.

[Flying Burrito]

I think you accept all the realities for what they are.

 

Reality 1: You're normal.

 

Reality 2: Your ex is the hottest girl you've had to date. The fantasies about doing her are normal. Just remember they're fantasies mate. The fantasies don't love you back.

 

Reality 3. Enjoy what you have now because the girl you have now is loving YOU for real.

[whichwayisup]

I think you need to pay more attention to your new gf, it wont be long before she gets upset with you thinking about your ex all the time. My advice would be get your ex out of your life if you want to stay with your new gf

 

Exactly! STOP allowing yourself to think and fantasize about your ex and her body! She isn't yours anymore..You have a new girlfriend and you sitting here missing your ex's body and all that hot sex just says that maybe the new girlfriend isn't the one for you and you're not over your ex yet. How would you feel if your girlfriend was missing and wanting her ex who had a hot body...

[xpaperxcutx]

Despite the shallowness of alot of the posts ( no offense given) I personally think you're using your new gf as a rebound. You said you have better emotional chemistry with her than your ex, but it seems more like you're using your new gf as a filler for the void that had been caused by your ex. I don't think you're being fair despite your current gf's support of you. Ever wonder about actually giving yourself space from any sort of a relationship to heal your wounds first without dragging others into it?

[entityzero]

Shes not a rebound.

 

I waited over 3 months of seeing her as a friend and dating casually before we made it official.

She was a girl i went to school with 10 years ago, i had a massive crush on her then and i felt the exact same thing now.

 

Shes so different to my ex in every way that when im with her, im not reminded of nor do i think about my ex at all.

In reality, its more when i see random girls on the street and i compare THEM to my ex, not my current girl.

 

My ex went STRAIGHT into a new relationship, now thats a rebound.

I dont want to think that im using my current girl, or that shes a rebound, im so fond of her, i respect her and care for her deeply, if i didnt think i couldnt handle a new relationship i wouldnt of got into one..

 

I know if i could stop thinking about my ex, i'd be 100% happy, not 95%.

[norajane]

How long were you and your ex together?

[entityzero]

Almost 2 years.

We werent friends before, I didnt know her, she got a job at my work, we talked about sex, she wanted it, i wanted it.

She broke up with her boyfriend, I broke up with my girlfriend.

Then we were together.

It all happened so fast.

 

There were times when i know she truly loved me, but its like, she's left my life as quick as she came into it.

 

It just sucks that my "mate" WAS friends with her first coz he knew her through me, and now he's probably f**king loving it.

[norajane]

Then you and perfect-boobs girl aren't that different. Nor are you that different from your mate.

 

You did exactly what they did to you - you were chatting up perfect-boobs girl and dumped your previous gf so you could have her.

 

Boobs girls was chatting up your mate; your mate was chatting her up. Boobs dumped you, so she could be with him.

 

You reap what you sow.

 

If you aren't disappointed in yourself for what you did to your previous gf, then you can't be all outraged now that karma has kicked you in the ass.

[entityzero]

I understand you might think that.

But what you dont know is the history and the relationship with my previous girl.

I did nothing wrong by choosing to break up with her, we'd been rocky for many months and the break up was amicable.

We remained and still remain friends to this day.

I told her straight out I wanted to see other people and she said she wanted the same.

I never cheated on her and ended the relationship open and honestly.

 

So please dont tell me that what im reaping now is what i sowed in the first place.

My ex didnt know my previous girlfriend and I didnt know her previous boyfriend.

This time, my "mate" took her from me.

Completely different situation.

[Surfer Girl]

My ex went back to his ex for that same reason... She was 10 years younger than me and had the body I wish I had... Granted I am in good shape, but not like her.... Once he went back he realized as you said "she is so much closer to me on a emotional and spiritual level" he realized he was wishing he was with me.... Why, because when you have that emotional and spiritual level of love making it makes a difference.......