smile_through_tears Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Should I wish him happy birthday or no?? He wished me a happy belated birthday on mine. Also you know what I realized that I was a total mess when he left me. Maybe I should have acted like I didnt give a damn. Maybe I should have been cool about it. But **** it, the damage is done. I just hate being seen as the one who got weak, but one gets weak when they love and dont receive the same feeling back right? I always showed him I cared because I was afraid of pushin him even further away if I ignored his texts and "ruin our friendship" or a chance at a friendship or reconcilation...because I never wanted this to be over. I have so much bottled up inside of me. I never said ANYTHING about what he did to me. I kept it inside. I'm going to write everything on a journal. Should I wish him a happy birthday???
Biker2007 Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 STT, He broke up w/ you right? Then I would let his bday pass w/out contacting him. Sounds like you are still pretty emotional about the break up, so that's even more reason to pass on his bday. I know it's tough. The X that brought me here to LS has a bday coming up in a few days...I wish I did not still remember that fact. If he contacts you, just make sure he is contacting for the right reasons...to apologize, etc. Please don't let him string you along Good luck!
nature Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Smile, how long have you been broken up now? You will appear more together and stronger is you do NOT wish him Happy Birthday. I know you may convince yourself that wishing him it will seem like you are ok with everything, etc....but because you were extrememly emotional and upset when he broke up with you, he will take a Happy Birthday from you to mean you are still pining for him and looking for any excuse to contact him. It doesn't matter that he wished you HB. He was the dumper. You are the dumpee. Therefore, do NOT wish him HB
Saesan Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 I'll be faced with this question in a couple of weeks time myself, and hopefully I can hold back and not wish him a happy birthday. Hopefully you can do do the same. At the end of the day its probably not worth it.
Justanotherschmuck Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Should I wish him happy birthday or no?? He wished me a happy belated birthday on mine. Also you know what I realized that I was a total mess when he left me. Maybe I should have acted like I didnt give a damn. Maybe I should have been cool about it. But **** it, the damage is done. I just hate being seen as the one who got weak, but one gets weak when they love and dont receive the same feeling back right? I always showed him I cared because I was afraid of pushin him even further away if I ignored his texts and "ruin our friendship" or a chance at a friendship or reconcilation...because I never wanted this to be over. I have so much bottled up inside of me. I never said ANYTHING about what he did to me. I kept it inside. I'm going to write everything on a journal. Should I wish him a happy birthday??? You already know the answer. NO. Mine was today. My wife, who is about to walk away, didn't even mention it. The hate (though she denies it) reeks from her. A happy birthday would have been so phony. So, in our situation, not saying anything was right. With you, if he'd dumped you, a happy birthday would be described by him as "clinging" and "pathetic". I hurt this girl and she still remembers my birthday. He will know he still has you. Don't call him and BELEIVE me, he will notice. And just a tiny bit of insecurity will creep in. He will want what he isn't sure he can have. I wouldn't be surprised if he calls YOU in a day or so about something real stupid, just to give you a chance to say happy birthday. What you should do? "oh, its was your birthday? One year older, huh?" Oh god, I just spilt some coffee on my new chair. This chair is nice, got in on sale....blah blah blah. Talk about ANYTHING but his birthday. Trust me, as a guy, he will be ticked, hurt and begin to want you, just a bit......and if you want this guy, its a start.
kizik Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 STT, I hope you didn't call him. I recently went through this same thing - my ex's b-day was Mar. 27 - and it was a tough day, knowing it was her b-day. But she didn't contact me on mine two months ago, so clearly she does not give a f*cking sh*t about me. Tell me you didn't contact him... ?
Author smile_through_tears Posted April 2, 2009 Author Posted April 2, 2009 Hey everyone!! Me and my ex have been "IN TOUCH" (i quote that because it has been the typical "how is your life?" texts) ever since the break-up. I was a mess for MONTHS when he left, he treated me like crap while I was crying my heart out, not like "crap", more that he was called and gave me the "I care for you but Im not in love with you, please get out of my life" attitude...which hurts alot. Anyway.. recently we talked and I told him I went NC to heal and because I was angry with him and that he hurt me alot but I have moved on and forgiven him. Then we would text each other sometimes after that. Plain and simple replies. So for his birthday I didnt say anything. I know all of you adivsed me not to...Did I do the right thing though?? Am I being rude by doing that?? I know I shouldn't even think twice about it but Im just overly nice which sucks for me...Is he going to stop talking to me because of this? lol...I sound so pathetic over-analyzing this but seriously...Since we're "friends" and text once in the blue...and he wished me a happy birthday...what message does me not wishing him one send?? I just dont want him to think Im still pining over him because I am not but I dont want to seem as rude and uncaring either...
Fiaman Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I just dont want him to think Im still pining over him because I am not but I dont want to seem as rude and uncaring either... Seriously? I live by two words and those are "Fu(k IT!" He dumped you. Why should you care if he thinks your uncaring? Wanna know what? Beginning of January, I found out the girl who was stringing me along had a new BF already. Her birthday was at the end of January, she invited me to her party (at her BF's house) I didnt respond. Her Birthday came and passed without me saying a damn word. 2 hours after midnight (when her birthday was over) I got a text saying "thanks for the birthday wish" That was a great feeling. Trust me dont do it and dont give FU(K!
Saesan Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Do you think he was worrying about being rude and uncaring when he dumped you? Probably not. You have done the right thing: you're not being rude and uncaring, you are simply starting to look after yourself first instead of his needs and wishes. Congrats on being strong enough to not contact him and wish him a happy birthday.
Recommended Posts