Inshock1 Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Me and my husband just got married last june and been together for 2 years before.. We were still enjoying our honeymoon phase before deployed to iraq. hes been gone now a few months and a couple of days he instant messengers and tell me that he was never in love with and want a divorce.. I am in soo much shock and cry about this everyday.. I dont know what to do.. why would he say such a thing to me.. there were no signs leading up to this.. I really love him and i want my marriage to work.. what do i do???
Athena Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 tell me that he was never in love with and want a divorce.. I am in soo much shock and cry about this everyday.. I dont know what to do.. why would he say such a thing to me.. there were no signs leading up to this.. I really love him and i want my marriage to work.. what do i do??? I will bet you just about anything you like, that he has been having an affair with a female soldier over there... and now he is in a totally infatuated state and is thinking he didn't love you at all... this is what is generally termed as being in the Affair Fog... go over to the Infidelity section of LoveShack, and you will see many cases like this... search for keywords in the threads. I say you phone him if you can, or IM him and say that you know about his affair... con him into admitting it. When is he due to come home?
flash582 Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Check out divorce 180 ... I someone post some of their stuff on here and it was GREAT advice.
Lizzie60 Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 I tend to agree with Athena.. SOMETHING definitely HAPPENED over there.. what made him changed his mind.. I say.. confront him.. ask him to be brutally honest with you.. if he doesn't then.. I say move on.. you can't make him love you if he doesn't love you anymore... it is rather strange...
PandorasBox Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 The next time you talk with him....bring up the divorce, ask him if he still wants one...then say, "OK, you got it!" Don't fight for someone who is obviously isn't going to fight for you and your marriage....He has already checked out of the marriage...all you need to do is make it legal...
Stung Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 out of curiosity, has your husband been in combat? i'm not saying it couldn't be the affair scenario, but...have you considered PTSD, or some other trauma-induced reaction?
PinkKittyKat Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 out of curiosity, has your husband been in combat? i'm not saying it couldn't be the affair scenario, but...have you considered PTSD, or some other trauma-induced reaction? That was my first thought. He could be afraid for his mortality in the life/death situation, and how it would affect you emotionally. Trying to "save you the pain" of him dying by emotionally distancing you BEFORE that can happen. Talk to him.
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 I don't think it can be concern for her. He must realise that losing him in this manner is just as sudden and just as hurtful as if she lost him in war...bear with me....breakdowns of relationships are a type of bereavement and so he's not really sparing her that is he? I'm sure if he was worried for her emotional happiness in case she lost him, he would have been able to say it in a kinder, more concerned manner. Maybe it is just the truth and he has been afraid to say it to your face or perhaps there is another woman. Is there any way you can talk to him or do any investigating?
Mr. Lucky Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Is it possible to contact his CO or base Chaplin? They may have some insight into what's going on... Mr. Lucky
NoIDidn't Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 I think you should ask him for his girlfriend's name. He gave you a linr right out of the cheater's guige. Sorry you are hurting.
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