Anaa Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 I think I have a crush on one of my professor in the University. Anyway I am still a undergrad. I guess he's pretty young, maybe at his late 20s. Though he's not very handsome, he's sooo cute and friendly. At least I think he's cute. I think I am a bit too crazy about him, I find that he would try to avoid my direct eye contacts and he tends to look at me during the lesson too, maybe I am being "too sensitive". Recently I keep thinking of should I find a way to let him know about it? I don't know if it is good to let him know? Can student and professor being in a relationship?
CommitmentPhobe Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 No. We take our responsibility to teach seriously and dating undergrads is a no no. It's a tough gig too. Please let your professor get on with his job.
Author Anaa Posted March 31, 2009 Author Posted March 31, 2009 No. We take our responsibility to teach seriously and dating undergrads is a no no. It's a tough gig too. Please let your professor get on with his job. you are a professor too?? but what is teaching seriously to do with personal life? he can't date me just because I am his student? that's so unfair
Bejita463 Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 you are a professor too?? but what is teaching seriously to do with personal life? he can't date me just because I am his student? that's so unfair It is called a conflict of interests. He could be accused of favoritism regarding your work, treatment and grades. I am not even certain that dating someone in that position is legal, as I believe it might be something that can be considered an abuse of power.
39388 Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 you are a professor too?? but what is teaching seriously to do with personal life? he can't date me just because I am his student? that's so unfair I teach and dating a student would get me fired in a second. I'd be in who knows what kind of other trouble also. The professor needs to be objective towards the students and that is impossible if he dates one. To me, it is never acceptable to date someone while you are in their class.
Author Anaa Posted March 31, 2009 Author Posted March 31, 2009 It is called a conflict of interests. He could be accused of favoritism regarding your work, treatment and grades. I am not even certain that dating someone in that position is legal, as I believe it might be something that can be considered an abuse of power. I get what you mean... I think I should hold back my thought of letting him know...
CommitmentPhobe Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 you are a professor too?? but what is teaching seriously to do with personal life? he can't date me just because I am his student? that's so unfair Yes. He can date you, but he won't. Do you realise how hard it is to get a tenured place? How hard you have to work to prepare lectures, exams, tutorials and keep up with your research? However cute you are, you're just a distraction. He will not have worked so hard in his career just to end up with a reputation for dating undergrads. It's a no no. Please spare both of you the embarrassment, enjoy the crush for what it is and find someone suitable to date. You'll be out of his class pretty soon no doubt anyway.
Author Anaa Posted March 31, 2009 Author Posted March 31, 2009 I teach and dating a student would get me fired in a second. I'd be in who knows what kind of other trouble also. The professor needs to be objective towards the students and that is impossible if he dates one. To me, it is never acceptable to date someone while you are in their class. means if i am not in his class then would not be a problem anymore right? Would you date a student perhaps in the same school but you are not teaching her?
Author Anaa Posted March 31, 2009 Author Posted March 31, 2009 I teach and dating a student would get me fired in a second. I'd be in who knows what kind of other trouble also. The professor needs to be objective towards the students and that is impossible if he dates one. To me, it is never acceptable to date someone while you are in their class. or if one of your ex-student come to you and tell you she had a crush on you back then, and would you consider to date her now?
Author Anaa Posted March 31, 2009 Author Posted March 31, 2009 Yes. He can date you, but he won't. Do you realise how hard it is to get a tenured place? How hard you have to work to prepare lectures, exams, tutorials and keep up with your research? However cute you are, you're just a distraction. He will not have worked so hard in his career just to end up with a reputation for dating undergrads. It's a no no. Please spare both of you the embarrassment, enjoy the crush for what it is and find someone suitable to date. You'll be out of his class pretty soon no doubt anyway. Can I ask you what kind of gals that professor like you would date? students like us will one day become some professionals too... just a matter of time
39388 Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 means if i am not in his class then would not be a problem anymore right? Would you date a student perhaps in the same school but you are not teaching her? I don't see a problem with it as long as you are not in his class anymore. I'd wait a little bit after the end of the class so there is nothing that even looks like a conflict of interest. Different schools may have different policies about what is ok after the class ends, but I can't imagine any saying it is ok while teaching. Whatever you do, make sure you don't get him in trouble.
39388 Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 or if one of your ex-student come to you and tell you she had a crush on you back then, and would you consider to date her now? In my case the age gap would be too great. If I was younger, or maybe the student was closer to my age I would consider dating. However, it would not be right after the end of the term. I'd wait a bit more.
CommitmentPhobe Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Can I ask you what kind of gals that professor like you would date? students like us will one day become some professionals too... just a matter of time Yes, but until that point in time .... I'm not going to date a student!
Ariadne Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 I think I have a crush on one of my professor in the University. Anyway I am still a undergrad. I guess he's pretty young, maybe at his late 20s. Though he's not very handsome, he's sooo cute and friendly. At least I think he's cute. I think I am a bit too crazy about him, I find that he would try to avoid my direct eye contacts and he tends to look at me during the lesson too, maybe I am being "too sensitive". Recently I keep thinking of should I find a way to let him know about it? I don't know if it is good to let him know? Can student and professor being in a relationship? Of course. He is not going to be your professor forever. Probably just a semester. And teachers have girlfriends too. But if he is avoiding your eyes in the class that's not a good sign. Maybe he noticed and is already uncomfortable. Go talk to him in his office and ask him about the class and start making friends with him. You can start asking him personal questions and getting to know more about him just as a student. If he has pics, ask him where those were taken, he might get started talking about a vacation etc. That way you can find out if he is taken or what the situation is. Good luck!
Author Anaa Posted March 31, 2009 Author Posted March 31, 2009 Of course. He is not going to be your professor forever. Probably just a semester. And teachers have girlfriends too. But if he is avoiding your eyes in the class that's not a good sign. Maybe he noticed and is already uncomfortable. Go talk to him in his office and ask him about the class and start making friends with him. You can start asking him personal questions and getting to know more about him just as a student. If he has pics, ask him where those were taken, he might get started talking about a vacation etc. That way you can find out if he is taken or what the situation is. Good luck! but like the advices that above professors here gave me, I am afraid he wouldn't want to be even friends with me.... because of our occupations
Ariadne Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 but like the advices that above professors here gave me, I am afraid he wouldn't want to be even friends with me.... because of our occupations I didn't read that poster's answer. But if the guy is young hopefully he is cool. The only problem would be if he already has a gf.
Bejita463 Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 I didn't read that poster's answer. But if the guy is young hopefully he is cool. The only problem would be if he already has a gf. "Cool" does not really enter into it. That University is likely crawling with guys, many of whom would likely be great people, given the chance to demonstrate it. Going after, or restricting yourself to one of the off-limits ones would be an... unfortunate decision.
mental_traveller Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Don't make a move on him while you are his student, he will get fired if he gets caught. However, there's nothing to stop you seducing him *after* you leave the college.
likestolaugh Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 While I'm not a prof, I am a TA... I'm currently dating a girl who was one of my students last year. It's alright when the class is totally finished... marks in, etc. But NOTHING can happen before then. Trust me. Even a TA would get fired for that.
Author Anaa Posted April 1, 2009 Author Posted April 1, 2009 While I'm not a prof, I am a TA... I'm currently dating a girl who was one of my students last year. It's alright when the class is totally finished... marks in, etc. But NOTHING can happen before then. Trust me. Even a TA would get fired for that. Do you mind to share how your relationship happen? do you make friends with your gf back then when she was still your student?
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