treyfan88 Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Cooking IS a basic skill. There's something wrong with you if you can't operate an oven. But still, some people can just cook better than others. I'll whole-heartedly admit I SUCK at cooking. Never has been my strongest point. I hate cooking--but I enjoy playing "sous-chef" with my SO. I cut all the vegetables, lol. And boil the water. Men who can cook and are HAPPY to cook are pretty sexxy--I'm not going to lie. Nothing like breakfast in bed. Mmmmm!
alphamale Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Men who can cook and are HAPPY to cook are pretty sexxy--I'm not going to lie. well women who can cook and bring home a paycheck AND can pull off the slinky little black dress are even sexier
treyfan88 Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 well women who can cook and bring home a paycheck AND can pull off the slinky little black dress are even sexier :D
You'reasian Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Guys, What is the qualities you look for in a woman that makes you want to marry her? I have been married before but my ex husband and I had a child so we got married. We loved each other but that is why we married really. We were together for 12 years. So now my questions is what makes you say to yourself....Im going to marry her? Alot of times, guys already KNOW that the woman they are dealing with will not be their wife. But she is good enough for right now. What are you looking for when you want to marry I'll start with the traits I'm looking for when I'm looking for a girlfriend - whether I get married or not is not easy to tell, but here's a start: The ability to keep chemistry going - but this requires effort from the two of us. Interdependence - she can operate independently but clearly enjoys the benefit of being with me. Trust - self-explanatory Good communication, understanding. Taking the time to really grow onto each other, earning each other's respect Being in shape is a plus. Cooking too. Since I enjoy working out and cooking as well.
Anaa Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 I would add: - intelligent - supportive - not bossy - loyal - not slutty Wow... lol
BobSacamento Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 happy, independent, intelligent, kind, can make me laugh, pretty, doesn't complain.
CandyGirlXO Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Yeah this thread has got me thinking that maybe I will never get married, so that means maybe I shouldn't even have a BF. I have no confidence when it comes to a lot of things, but cooking is definately up there as well. I have never cooked. I know, I have a thread on this topic already. But anyway no one will probably want to marry me. Not to say its an excuse, but no one was there to teach me, and when I was in college and lived with roomies, I could have learned from them, but I was working full time and going to school full time. Anyways, I guess this is more of a rant, it just makes me feel so worthless. I grew up on eating TV dinners, and sandwiches etc... I am independent in other ways, such as financially. I mean I don't make all that much money with the economy the way it is, but I put myself through college, I have a BS, and I have financially supported myself since I was 15-16... since both of my parents are drug addicts. I mean would any guy in here look past the fact that I don't cook. Cooking together could be fun, and maybe I could learn that way. But once again its the confidence that I do not have.
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 How can one NOT know how to cook? I don't get it. You start with recipes, you read the instructions, you follow them to the letter, voila. As you start to get better and gain some confidence, you can start improvising or making your own food up. I don't understand not knowing how to do something that's so simple. Is it laziness? Like you don't even want to try reading and following a recipe? It's not rocket science.
CandyGirlXO Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 How can one NOT know how to cook? I don't get it. You start with recipes, you read the instructions, you follow them to the letter, voila. As you start to get better and gain some confidence, you can start improvising or making your own food up. I don't understand not knowing how to do something that's so simple. Is it laziness? Like you don't even want to try reading and following a recipe? It's not rocket science. Possibly laziness, I have never tried. I only have myself to feed, so I never take the time to cook a meal. If its really that easy, then maybe there is hope for me. Thanks
era Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 It's not rocket science. LOL:laugh:....yeah, because even with just a hotplate and a mini-fridge you can still whip up gourmet cuisine.
gd26 Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 I mean would any guy in here look past the fact that I don't cook. Cooking together could be fun, and maybe I could learn that way. But once again its the confidence that I do not have. I wouldn't worry about what any of the men on this forum think. The right guy will like you for you... not on your ability to cook or not. In fact, if he was the right guy for you, he wouldn't care whether you could cook or not... if not, he would gladly pull out recipe books with you and the two of you could have fun making stuff together. So don't get down on yourself about it. Me personally... I was involved with a guy 4-5 years ago who used to cook me fabulous gourmet meals. I still remember his special dinners for me, and I really appreciated them. Unfortunately, things didn't work out for us, as he later decided to move to another country. Then last year I met another guy who confessed straight up that he could only cook 3 things, and ate those same 3 things every day, and didn't know how to make anything else. I really liked him a lot and told him it wasn't a big deal, I knew a little bit and was willing to teach him... as I imagined us having fun in the kitchen together. When people are really in love and with someone compatible, they find ways to accommodate one another and don't come in with such expectations of their partners doing all the housework. If people truly care about one another, they genuinely want to support each other and make each other's lives a bit better.
Pipetalk Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 I think it depends on the mom. My wife is almost a polar opposite of my mom. Thank God. yeap! it all depends. There's a lot to do with a guy's inner belief also.
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Possibly laziness, I have never tried. I only have myself to feed, so I never take the time to cook a meal. If its really that easy, then maybe there is hope for me. Thanks I think you COULD do it. It really is pretty simple if you can follow instructions. But quite honestly, if you see it as a chore, then that's not going to be much fun for you. Who knows, though - you *might* decide you enjoy it if you give it a shot. Seriously - I wasn't much into cooking with my XH. And I don't cook when it's just me (too much effort). But with my current BF, I LOVE cooking for him and usually when I go out to visit him, I come up with something to make. He appreciates it. And I don't have to feel guilty that we're eating out all the time, or eating his staples of instant rice, instant potatoes, pancake or biscuit mix, or the one stew he taught himself to make. LOL But really, I don't see any man who's worth a damn discounting you as a person because you don't cook.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 It obviously ties in to gender expectations. I'm not going to discount a guy who doesn't know how to be Mr. Fixit around the house, but I do love it when he is. I've been in relationships with guys at both ends of the spectrum -- could fix anything perfectly, and could fix nothing. And actually, the one who could fix nothing but tried and learned because he wanted to help me out scored major points for making the effort.
CandyGirlXO Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 I wouldn't worry about what any of the men on this forum think. The right guy will like you for you... not on your ability to cook or not. In fact, if he was the right guy for you, he wouldn't care whether you could cook or not... if not, he would gladly pull out recipe books with you and the two of you could have fun making stuff together. So don't get down on yourself about it. Me personally... I was involved with a guy 4-5 years ago who used to cook me fabulous gourmet meals. I still remember his special dinners for me, and I really appreciated them. Unfortunately, things didn't work out for us, as he later decided to move to another country. Then last year I met another guy who confessed straight up that he could only cook 3 things, and ate those same 3 things every day, and didn't know how to make anything else. I really liked him a lot and told him it wasn't a big deal, I knew a little bit and was willing to teach him... as I imagined us having fun in the kitchen together. When people are really in love and with someone compatible, they find ways to accommodate one another and don't come in with such expectations of their partners doing all the housework. If people truly care about one another, they genuinely want to support each other and make each other's lives a bit better. Just wanted to say thank you for that post. I didn't mean to steal the thread, I was just having a bad night I guess. Thanks for the time you took to write all of that. It did help me a lot, and I agree with you.
Trialbyfire Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Candygirl, time for you to stop worrying about what these guys want and start looking at what you want and who you are. Don't pretzel yourself for anyone. If you want to cook, there's nothing stopping you from doing it. If you don't want to cook, that's cool too. Each guy will have his own set of priorities for the woman that he wants to commit to. This tends to be a bitter and cynical site because many are still recovering from being dumped, divorced, cheated on, etc.
clv0116 Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 I am independent in other ways, such as financially. I mean I don't make all that much money with the economy the way it is, but I put myself through college, I have a BS, and I have financially supported myself since I was 15-16... since both of my parents are drug addicts. Honestly, the potential issues with the in-laws would be the thing I would think longest about in that case. I mean would any guy in here look past the fact that I don't cook. Cooking together could be fun, and maybe I could learn that way. But once again its the confidence that I do not have. If you were inclined to enjoy being a SAHW then it's not a dealbreaker at all but I suspect you would be better matched to someone who is looking to split the bills and housework in a less lopsided fashion.
You'reasian Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 I have no confidence when it comes to a lot of things, but cooking is definately up there as well. I have never cooked. I know, I have a thread on this topic already. But anyway no one will probably want to marry me. Not to say its an excuse, but no one was there to teach me, and when I was in college and lived with roomies, I could have learned from them, but I was working full time and going to school full time. Do you not want to cook or would you like to? I had a girlfriend who didn't know how to cook but I did. We spent a great deal of quality time in the kitchen making dinner....and of course making out while things were cooking I think that might have been a source of motivation for her and she bought a few cookbooks to learn how to cook some different things like pastas, Indian food, Chinese food etc. She could follow directions from the cookbook, so she did pretty well. When she made me a home cooked meal, I was stoked.
CandyGirlXO Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Honestly, the potential issues with the in-laws would be the thing I would think longest about in that case. Oh yeah I agree, don't even get me started. Thats a whole other issue. A MAJOR one for sure.
CandyGirlXO Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Do you not want to cook or would you like to? I had a girlfriend who didn't know how to cook but I did. We spent a great deal of quality time in the kitchen making dinner....and of course making out while things were cooking I think that might have been a source of motivation for her and she bought a few cookbooks to learn how to cook some different things like pastas, Indian food, Chinese food etc. She could follow directions from the cookbook, so she did pretty well. When she made me a home cooked meal, I was stoked. See now that sounds like fun. That was very nice of you. Now I don't feel like the only female who doesn't know her way around the kitchen.
clv0116 Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Oh yeah I agree, don't even get me started. Thats a whole other issue. A MAJOR one for sure. Thank you for not being offended by that comment.
CandyGirlXO Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Honestly, the potential issues with the in-laws would be the thing I would think longest about in that case. Also about that... if the guy is worth it... he shouldn't judge me because my family is dsyfunctional. I mean I didn't chose to have drug addict parents. And I am clean. I know it will probably be an issue with my BF, or any other relationship I might have in the future. I have such anxiety about the whole situation. But they shouldn't look down on me because of things in life that I could not control. I am a good person. And I have had a hard life. That's all.
clv0116 Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Also about that... if the guy is worth it... he shouldn't judge me because my family is dsyfunctional. I mean I didn't chose to have drug addict parents. And I am clean. I know it will probably be an issue with my BF, or any other relationship I might have in the future. I have such anxiety about the whole situation. But they shouldn't look down on me because of things in life that I could not control. I am a good person. And I have had a hard life. That's all. It's not a matter of judging you, it's just that you marry the girl, you marry her family also. If I married someone with that sort of thing going on back home I have to expect a certain amount of it will spill into my life. Whether or not it is manageable would be the thing to be resolved.
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Cooking is so easy!!!! I'm a man, but check it when i was on my own I cooked for myself, it was not hard. not at all. Just follow the directions on the box. If your cooking sucks it's possibly because your technique is whack. But with alot of fine tuning you can turn it into an art. It is an art. But if you cannot make yellow rice then you need to drop the pot & stay away from the stove. lol.
CommitmentPhobe Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 It's not a matter of judging you, it's just that you marry the girl, you marry her family also. If I married someone with that sort of thing going on back home I have to expect a certain amount of it will spill into my life. Whether or not it is manageable would be the thing to be resolved. Well that's going to be a major bugbear. There's unlikely to be a functional parent that would be particularly keen on you marrying their daughter.
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