pollywag Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 I just don't understand how anyone could take these threads to heart. You've never read something that affected the way you think? You can't understand how a person that just got out of relationship, or is grieving the loss of a partner due to a break up or is feeling down and out because they haven't had a date in a very long time and feeling lonely (a lot of the people who come to these forums are in those situations) might be affected by some of the comments these men make that are exclusively made to eat away at these already fragile egoed women?
Isolde Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Pollywag, why are you trying to make me feel guilty? I agree some of these threads are in poor taste and probably designed to incite argument or even upset people, but others are just rants that I don't feel like responding to at length. You act like I don't know what it's like to be hurt when I most definitely do.
Die Hard Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 That's not fair, though. Don't worry, it's not fair. You don't have to be some internet guardian to have empathy for people that are hurting. Don't feel that you have to defend or justify anything to anyone, Isolde. You are 100% correct, imo, that people give way too much weight to what is said around here. It's an internet board and if someone's feelings get hurt or something like that then they shouldn't be on the internet. You can't be responsible for anyone else's fragile ego.
pollywag Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Pollywag, why are you trying to make me feel guilty? I agree some of these threads are in poor taste and probably designed to incite argument or even upset people, but others are just rants that I don't feel like arguing with. Oh no Isolde I am not trying to make you feel guilty you have nothing to feel guilty about. I think that if you would rather not get involved in those threads, I respect your stance on the issue. I am just explaining my stance. I am only explaining to you what it is that irks some of us enough to want to get involved. You say that you don't understand why people take things personally on a forum and I am trying to open up your vision to understand the scope of the kinds of people that might be looking at these posts all across our countries. We tend to forget that there are people with personal turmoil, going through real pain and real emotional vulnerability upon us and when a select few make it their only purpose to prey on this vulnerability of others, it gets really tiresome after a while.
Isolde Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Oh no Isolde I am not trying to make you feel guilty you have nothing to feel guilty about. I think that if you would rather not get involved in those threads, I respect your stance on the issue. I am just explaining my stance. I am only explaining to you what it is that irks some of us enough to want to get involved. You say that you don't understand why people take things personally on a forum and I am trying to open up your vision to understand the scope of the kinds of people that might be looking at these posts all across our countries. We tend to forget that there are people with personal turmoil, going through real pain and real emotional vulnerability upon us and when a select few make it their only purpose to prey on this vulnerability of others, it gets really tiresome after a while. That is true, this board is for advice and support, not argument (who knew)?
tkgirl Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Don't worry, it's not fair. You don't have to be some internet guardian to have empathy for people that are hurting. Don't feel that you have to defend or justify anything to anyone, Isolde. You are 100% correct, imo, that people give way too much weight to what is said around here. It's an internet board and if someone's feelings get hurt or something like that then they shouldn't be on the internet. You can't be responsible for anyone else's fragile ego. on team Isolde!
mental_traveller Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 No idea why there are so many age threads, since the equation for optimal dating age is well-known and time-tested: Take the man's age, divide by 2, and add 7 years - that gives the best age for the woman he should date.
tkgirl Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 No idea why there are so many age threads, since the equation for optimal dating age is well-known and time-tested: Take the man's age, divide by 2, and add 7 years - that gives the best age for the woman he should date. so does that same formula work for women too? cuz if I do it in reverse that means I should be dating a guy who's 72??!!!! I don't think so!
pollywag Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Only an imbecile would base love on a formula. What are we quotients of quantities? But there are definitely some negative integers out there that's incontestable.
MN randomguy Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 so does that same formula work for women too? cuz if I do it in reverse that means I should be dating a guy who's 72??!!!! I don't think so! Traveler's formula is a floor for the age of woman that a guy can pursue w/o being a creeper. Are you 43 then? 72/2=36 36+7=43 You should be looking for guys between 43 and 72. Of single women in their 40s I know they are usually going to stay under 60. This is just a matter of personal preference. Don't be surprised if 72 y/o dudes put the moves on ya. No idea why there are so many age threads, since the equation for optimal dating age is well-known and time-tested: Take the man's age, divide by 2, and add 7 years - that gives the best age for the woman he should date. I heard this formula last year and think its genius. It takes into account that age matters less when you're older. A High school senior who's 18 should only date girls that are 16 to 18. Seniors dating freshman would be a bad idea, especially if you were her dad. I'm 29 (almost 30) I should be dating my age down to 22 y/o. I personally would have to have a very mature 22 y/o. Really 24 is more realistic as my floor.
Trialbyfire Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 so does that same formula work for women too? cuz if I do it in reverse that means I should be dating a guy who's 72??!!!! I don't think so! Just reverse the genders. You should be dating men who are over 28 years old. Like it so far?
Citizen Erased Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 so does that same formula work for women too? cuz if I do it in reverse that means I should be dating a guy who's 72??!!!! I don't think so! And I'm either stuck with a 17.5 year old or a 49 year old. That 40 year old doesn't sound so bad now...
MN randomguy Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 I hate seeing young women who have everything going for them being affected by the a handful of degenrates that thrive on abusing women on this site, and my natural tendency is to retalliate against poisonous people who are only there to inflict pain on those who are already hurting. Since some of us women are not hurting and in a better emotional state we choose to stand up for those who are not. I see nothing wrong with that. These boards are becoming less valuable when you're not allowed to express a preference. I feel this flame war started over my comment in this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t183611/ Then, it was like its such a big deal that I wasn't trying to pursue the OP of the thread. You can't be so affected by an indirect rejection from a guy on the internet half a continent away. Odds are, you (or Blue Eyed Girl) wouldn't even want me if you met me. Imagine being a guy. We get rejected all of the time. To be in your thirties and be upset because its the first time you've been rejected (although not even directly) is weak. Now, can we be platonic friends now that we know its not going to be romantic? The shoe is on the other foot. "I like you as a friend":)
pollywag Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Not at ALL NM R, it's funny that the guy that least has anything to do with the damaging comments is the one to stand up and think it's about him. Your comments in that thread were bang on, well I happened to agree with them and I don't feel they were hurtful or predatory in any way. We were just discussing that specific situation with BEG and what we thought of it. That is not at all what instigated all the other threads or women retaliating. The comments discussed here are more about a few guys that are constantly making derogatory comments about women over 30 and they go on and on and on. It had nothing to do with the thread you quoted. As per the rejection you are talking about I haven't a clue what you mean? Please explain that, if I have been dumped I should at least know there was a chance for us to begin with. :laugh:
Author Jaytb Posted March 31, 2009 Author Posted March 31, 2009 These boards are becoming less valuable when you're not allowed to express a preference. I feel exactly the same way. I think many times, people here have stated a personal preference only to be attacked relentlessly for having it. And yes, even I would've attacked someone for having some preferences (I felt women were shallow for only wanting tall men. I now realize I was being insecure about it, and now I've stopped being so insecure. And in fact I did attack someone, and now I feel bad about it.) I have since come to understand that people have the right to their own preferences, no matter their reason. And if I am allowed to have my own preferences, I should be willing to accept that other people are to be allowed to their own preferences, no matter what I personally think of it. And I do think some guys are being completely unreasonable about age, but for one thing, who am I to judge? and also, they're free to do what they want. I am not one of their parents. I don't have control over them. Imagine being a guy. We get rejected all of the time. To be in your thirties and be upset because its the first time you've been rejected (although not even directly) is weak.So true. Women reject men for (sometimes ridiculous) reasons all the time. But when men have a preference for younger women, they go for the throat! lol. If I asked out a women and she rejected me for not being tall, or handsome, or rich, or fashionable, I wouldn't relentlessly attack women for having those preferences. I would just look for someone who has preferences compatible with me. And no one is useless. No one is unworthy of love. But to expect all men or all women to accept you unquestionably is unreasonable. I don't expect supermodels to want me. I don't expect all women to want me. I accept that some people will not prefer who I am for whatever reason. More people should be ok with that.
donnamaybe Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Nobody has any problem with someone stating a preference. HOWEVER, what certain posters on LS do is state "this is the way it is for older women, and you just have to like it," saying that ALL older women are doomed and ALL older men want a younger woman. Ya think that isn't gonna piss somebody off? NOBODY knows EVERYTHING about how EVERYONE feels on ANY GIVEN SUBJECT. Once certain posters stop trying to ram their version of "the truth" down people's throats, we'll cease getting pissed off. Get it?
Author Jaytb Posted March 31, 2009 Author Posted March 31, 2009 Nobody has any problem with someone stating a preference. HOWEVER, what certain posters on LS do is state "this is the way it is for older women, and you just have to like it," saying that ALL older women are doomed and ALL older men want a younger woman. Ya think that isn't gonna piss somebody off? NOBODY knows EVERYTHING about how EVERYONE feels on ANY GIVEN SUBJECT. Once certain posters stop trying to ram their version of "the truth" down people's throats, we'll cease getting pissed off. Get it? I get it, but I don't think that's been the case all too often. I mean I haven't seen anyone say "ALL older women are doomed". If you can point out where that was, that'd be great.
donnamaybe Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 I get it, but I don't think that's been the case all too often. I mean I haven't seen anyone say "ALL older women are doomed". If you can point out where that was, that'd be great. Read the thread, "Women like money, men like youth." Hell, even the title says women are money grubbers and older women won't get a man.
mental_traveller Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Only an imbecile would base love on a formula. Lol I can't believe you took an obvious joke post seriously. Lighten up!
mr.dream merchant Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 You ever thought about just throwing some random ass statement into the thread that has nothing to do with it? Or making a crazy ass outburst? That would calm things down for a bit.
Trialbyfire Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 If I asked out a women and she rejected me for not being tall, or handsome, or rich, or fashionable, I wouldn't relentlessly attack women for having those preferences. I would just look for someone who has preferences compatible with me.So...if I posted almost every single post saying that men who aren't tall, handsome or rich are useless and can't get it up, I'm guessing that sooner or later, you would be offended. It's like a tooth ache. The incessant nagging pain can get to you on a bad day.
Author Jaytb Posted March 31, 2009 Author Posted March 31, 2009 So...if I posted almost every single post saying that men who aren't tall, handsome or rich are useless and can't get it up, I'm guessing that sooner or later, you would be offended. It's like a tooth ache. The incessant nagging pain can get to you on a bad day. Go ahead, I wouldn't respond. Even on a bad day I wouldn't care.
Author Jaytb Posted March 31, 2009 Author Posted March 31, 2009 Read the thread, "Women like money, men like youth." Hell, even the title says women are money grubbers and older women won't get a man. That thread is a novel! 33 pages, gosh. I read the first post and it's just someone paraphrasing the findings of a Discovery Channel program. And the other half of the title says poor men won't get a woman, and men are shallow a$$es.
donnamaybe Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 That thread is a novel! 33 pages, gosh. I read the first post and it's just someone paraphrasing the findings of a Discovery Channel program. And the other half of the title says poor men won't get a woman, and men are shallow a$$es. But try to point that out to some of these men! People are people are people. Some like money, some like youth. It's not something that can be attributed to ALL men or ALL women. Such silliness, eh?
Trialbyfire Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Go ahead, I wouldn't respond. Even on a bad day I wouldn't care. It appears you care about something, otherwise, why would have posted this thread? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=2099957&postcount=78 I went back on your previous posts and found the ones I looked at, fairly balanced. Not caring about personal preferences is one thing and getting tired of the same old, same old, unbalanced stuff is something else. Just click on the link I provided and you'll find that you get tired of the same ol', same ol', the same way the rest of us do...
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