Booker43 Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year now but there are a few things that have me questioning the relationship a bit. I feel like more and more she's taking the relationship for granted. As in, she feels like she doesn't need to put any effort in because I'm always going to be there. Lately I've felt like I'm just her big cuddle thing when she comes home at the end of the day and not important otherwise. Lately we've been busy so we don't get to see each other very much, maybe late at night and in the morning. When we are together she's very affectionate, which is why it's weird that she forgets I exist during the day. I've just always been under the impression that in a good relationship, you think of your SO every now and then. Any chance we get to see each other for 5 or 10 minutes is nice, I always look forward to it. She actually forgets about me. Today during the one hour break that she had all day, she had coffee in the same building that I work, and didn't bother to even stop by for even a second, just to say hi. Yesterday she called and needed me to bring her make-up up to campus, but then said she was getting a drive down to get it. I sat and waited, needing to go to campus to work on an essay for a while, while she didn't answer her phone. I ended up bring it up anyways and later finding out she didn't have a ride so she didn't need it anymore. Calling and telling me that would have been nice. Little things like that happen often, that's just the past 2 days. She's very busy right now, but so am I. I still think about her, I love getting a chance to see her for a few minutes. Also, she hasn't initiated anything sexual with me in over a month. Should I be concerned here? The problem is if there's something wrong like if she's drifting away from me I don't think she realizes it. Or I could be completely wrong. I don't know. I just don't feel important to her lately, and I didn't think that's the way it's supposed to be.
Kaii Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 I feel that sex, or lack thereof, is a barometer with which to gauge the health of a relationship. Of course, we all get caught up in life and sex sometimes takes a backseat, but a month is a long time. At least it is in my neck of the woods, and we've been together for a year too. I would ask how often you two have had sex before this past month, and also...what would happen if YOU initiated sex. Would she refuse, or go along with it? Why don't you just talk to her and tell her that you're feeling a little neglected recently and that you would like the 2 of you to set aside some special "us time" every week. Hope it works out for you
Jersey Shortie Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 It sounds like she could just be getting a little lazy but that doesn't mean she doesn't value you. You should talk to her about it. About your sex life and wanting to see her more through the day. I will ad for myself that I like going to work to get away from my SO. Not because I don't love him, when I have one, but because it gives us a break and I miss him more when I come home. I am not one of those girls that needs to have him give me phone calls and want not through the day. That's just me. Maybe your girl is the same way after the honeymoon stage is over.
Timmers Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 In the beginning did she initiate sex often? If not then don't expect it to happen a lot. I think girls usually expect the man to initiate sex. I think she's definitely gotten comfortable with you. Have you talked to her about these issues? Perhaps if she knew how you felt she'd make more of an effort. Like making you wait for her for makeup... Dude, that would've pissed me off. Tell her about the things you do and the efforts you put forward in the relationship, and that you'd appreciate some thought and concern for you.
Recommended Posts