picture2burn Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 I just had a question about someone and wanted to get a few peoples advice before anything happened with it. I will try to keep it short and sweet. So basically I have been seeing this guy for about three weeks now, going out on dates, sleeping over, etc. His roomate just moved away, and my roomates moving away at the end of April. Our leases are both up at the same time, so we've been looking for rentals together. The other day we talked about living together, because of the convienence we both need roomates at the same time. Is this a hugely bad idea? Are we going to be able to go on just "seeing each other" or is it going to turn into we are either together or just friends. Let me know what you think and if you have any questions ask place
prettybaby Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 Depends. Is it someone you've known for ages but only started dating 3 weeks ago? Or this someone who -4 weeks ago- was still a perfect stranger? Also, how would you rate your relationship? 3 weeks sounds way too soon for me, but then again, if it's only scheduled for the end of April, then that adds a month to the relationship. Still too early, though. Unless it feels right to both of you. Do your lifestyles seem compatible from what you've seen so far?
treyfan88 Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 If you've only been dating for 3 weeks, I don't advise it. Once you start sharing apartments, cars, bills, etc. it makes the relationship that much harder to leave if it doesn't work out. Legally, anyways. You should only move in if 1. you're just going to be STRICTLY roommates and nothing else. 2. you both love each other and are planning to get married sometime soon. And with just 3 weeks under your belt...well...I don't think it's a good idea.
Author picture2burn Posted March 30, 2009 Author Posted March 30, 2009 We do get a long very well, I'm actually going to miss his roomate quite a bit. 4 weeks ago he was a perfect stranger... At the same time I think that if things didn't work out we'd still be friends and it wouldn't be a big deal... But I'm still not too sure. I need a roomate... :S
Author picture2burn Posted March 30, 2009 Author Posted March 30, 2009 PS : going to be 2 seperate bedrooms... if that changes anything
Lucky_One Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 Way too early for me, for sure. I wouldn't ever want to live with someone romantically that I don't know well. You can kick out a crappy roommate a whole lot easier than you can kick out an ex-BF.
Lauriebell82 Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 My first thought is no. Mainly just because living together is a huge committment and although you really do learn a lot from the other person I think you have to know some stuff about them. Also, it appears you are doing this out of convience and not out of love. You gotta have the love part. Just read part about different rooms. Probably doesn't change much because I'm sure you aren't going to sleep in your seperate rooms every night.
Author picture2burn Posted March 30, 2009 Author Posted March 30, 2009 Thats basically the thought I was thinking. In a way it is out of conveince but I do wanna be with someone to cook for, all that, etc. But basically its making a huge comittment or I think the just friends thing should factor in. I don't know, I really like the guy, and like I said if things ended I would be totally okay with just being his friend.
Lucky_One Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 I was thinking about this some more, and I bet he would be THRILLED to have you as a roommate. At the beginning of a relationship, women especially love for things to be all perfect and romantic and lovey-dovey, and I can see you dashing home to make sure that dinner is cooked, and his fave beer is in the fridge, and that you have hockey central on your cable package, and doing the cleaning and washing. He would have it made in the shade!
Author picture2burn Posted March 30, 2009 Author Posted March 30, 2009 As I would cuz thats the relationship we kind of have started, he's very tit for tat, so if I cook for him, he'll cook for me, ill buy coffee, he'll buy coffee, etc. Say at the end of April it is a comitted relationship, that gives us 2 months under our belts.... basically maybe just spend more time with the guy? Or don't. I'm just super confused about the whole situation to be completely honest. Because even if we broke things off, I'm sure they would still be the whole roomate with benefits package lol.
prettybaby Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 if things ended I would be totally okay with just being his friend. You've only knownhim for 3 weeks Come on, you cannot rationally say that you'd be okay with just being friends, and that so would he, and that all would be fine in the worst case scenario. That's not even a realistic claim at this point. I bet there's a truckload of aspects you have yet to learn about him as a person.
Lucky_One Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 Because even if we broke things off, I'm sure they would still be the whole roomate with benefits package lol. You'd still screw him, even if he broke up with you?!?!?!
bean1 Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 I'm not one to judge on moving in together after a short time (4 months dating but we've lived together for a long time now and as strong as ever), but you seem to be going about this in a fantasy-world way. Someone to cook for, but if you break up, still have benefits? This sounds pretty absurd. Get a dog or something if you need someone to coddle, at least it will still love you unconditionally. You guys must be super young, like right out of high school?
manugeorge Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 Living together is not nearly as glamorous as you may think. Especially with someone you barely know. I guess you can always treat each other strictly like you would treat roommates, just with benefits. But if things don't work out between you, resentment is most likely to arise. In that case, things can get really really uncomfortable.
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