jj33 Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Exactly Die Hard. It doesnt take a rocket science or even a keen knowledge of the bible to know that God doesnt sanction affairs. It is not a Christian viewpoint, it is not a Jewish viewpoint and it is not a Muslim viewpoint (although there is some thing I read about in Indonesia where you can have sex with the same person 7 times at some sacred place if you want to make a wish come true but thats just a folklore exception that I dont think has formal religious approval). So shes yanking your chain with the God thing and perverting it to her own uses. That or she has her own brand of religion. You KNOW she has issues. The fact that you want to be the hero and save her is admirable but think about what your future would be like if she did leave. All these issues wouldnt magically disappear. And what if she thought God told her to cheat on you.... The David instance is different. God didnt sanction the affair. He reprimanded David. He also FORGAVE him and then sent him Abigail to marry. Thats very different from sanctioning the affair.
Author Confused4Now Posted April 1, 2009 Author Posted April 1, 2009 You KNOW she has issues. The fact that you want to be the hero and save her is admirable but think about what your future would be like if she did leave. All these issues wouldnt magically disappear. And what if she thought God told her to cheat on you.... The David instance is different. God didnt sanction the affair. He reprimanded David. He also FORGAVE him and then sent him Abigail to marry. Thats very different from sanctioning the affair. I know she has issues....myself for that matter too. I do know things happen for a reason. All I know is this she was the catalyst for me leaving my marriage. Whether or not she leaves her marriage.. I have her to thank for me leaving a dead end solution. I've been on this board long enough to know statistically we are doomed if we were to get together. I love her enough to help her get to that point....do I push her at times yes but I'm trying to find a way where the light goes on in her head like it did me. I was willing to settle just for the kids....and she's the one that got me moving. Regardless what people say about God I do know he loves all of us...and when this is all over we will repent and ask for forgiveness. Take this as a lesson learned. but for me it has been a long journey and a hard trip. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel for me...not so sure about her. but she's getting there.
bentnotbroken Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 I know she has issues....myself for that matter too. I do know things happen for a reason. All I know is this she was the catalyst for me leaving my marriage. Whether or not she leaves her marriage.. I have her to thank for me leaving a dead end solution. I've been on this board long enough to know statistically we are doomed if we were to get together. I love her enough to help her get to that point....do I push her at times yes but I'm trying to find a way where the light goes on in her head like it did me. I was willing to settle just for the kids....and she's the one that got me moving. Regardless what people say about God I do know he loves all of us...and when this is all over we will repent and ask for forgiveness. Take this as a lesson learned. but for me it has been a long journey and a hard trip. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel for me...not so sure about her. but she's getting there. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed to any of us. So you are saving your repentance until you think things are over, what if it doesn't end. Some people just like drama.
Author Confused4Now Posted April 1, 2009 Author Posted April 1, 2009 Tomorrow isn't guaranteed to any of us. So you are saving your repentance until you think things are over, what if it doesn't end. Some people just like drama. Oh no....I really don't like drama. Like I said I have alot to be thank for and her helping me get out of my situation is one thing to be thankful for. I think the situation causes drama...but once removed there will be none... Just a FYI...I'm at NC btw. P.S. To bad I can't change my name to ConfusedNOMore....
jj33 Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Yes God forgives us all. But regardless of whether he forgives you both you are responsible for your happiness. And it sounds like YOU are on the right track. She was a catalyst for you to leave the marriage but that doesnt mean you are supposed to spend the rest of you life with her. I hate to sound harsh but this sounds like a life long train wreck waiting to happen. Sometimes people come into our life and they help us in such a special way that we think they must be meant to be with us forever. But that is not always the case and letting go and thanking God or them or whoever it feels right to thank for their inspiration and then letting them on with their journey while you go on with yours, is the plan that God has for you.
Reggie Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 You guys sound a little nuts, with this "what does God tell you..." thing. Are you "soulmates"? Are you guys Druids, by any chance? Does she hear voices?
bentnotbroken Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Oh no....I really don't like drama. Like I said I have alot to be thank for and her helping me get out of my situation is one thing to be thankful for. I think the situation causes drama...but once removed there will be none... Just a FYI...I'm at NC btw. P.S. To bad I can't change my name to ConfusedNOMore.... I meant her and her drama. You maybe only the first knight in shining armour she will need.
whichwayisup Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Just a FYI...I'm at NC btw. So NC as in you not talking to her online through IM's or email? Since when?
Author Confused4Now Posted April 1, 2009 Author Posted April 1, 2009 So NC as in you not talking to her online through IM's or email? Since when?Since this week Tuesday...she's already tried to reach out texting my phone through IM...This is the first time i didn't respond back to her. I never told her I was initiating the NC either....after hearing what she had to say....I knew it will be some time before she's out of her situation. She kept telling me one or two months more. However I don't believe it anymore. Until she makes an attempt to keep H out of her life for good...it will never change. I'm not even mad anymore....I've gotten control of my anxiety attacks I've put on my weight. I'm keeping more busy as to not think about it as much. I'm more focused at work. I've been pulling back for sometime... as just having chats kinda put the writing on the wall... we were back to him controlling her so she's watching everything she does... I just choose to not be a part of it anymore. I'm sure she'll get the message when I don't respond. This is something I've never done....had the strength to not answer. so far she's tried 3 times and I haven't responded.
whichwayisup Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 . I never told her I was initiating the NC either.... I think you should tell her NC is in place. Considering before Tuesday you WERE talking to her online, supporting her and being her friend. Shoot off ONE message telling her you've decided to go NC.. Under your circumstances to just up and disappear isn't cool.. And I only say this BECAUSE 2 days ago you WERE talking to her freely online. You owe her that much, just common respect.
Author Confused4Now Posted April 1, 2009 Author Posted April 1, 2009 I think you should tell her NC is in place. Considering before Tuesday you WERE talking to her online, supporting her and being her friend. Shoot off ONE message telling her you've decided to go NC.. Under your circumstances to just up and disappear isn't cool.. And I only say this BECAUSE 2 days ago you WERE talking to her freely online. You owe her that much, just common respect. Ok done...I contacted her and told sorry for not letting her know what I was doing. She said she figured as much. She also said she was tired of me breaking her heart everytime I do this. I agreed but then again I said it breaks my heart that we are still here in this situation. I asked her again what is she going to do once she realizes that her H will not budge on the house(quit claim) she said I told you I'm going to walk away from it all.... Well I said... we will see then won't we? She said I was right and the fact she was lying to her H didn't bother her at all....well it bothers me.
jj33 Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 And did God tell her its ok to lie to her H too? You are in for a rough ride my friend. My greatest wish for you is that by the time she pulls the trigger and leaves (if ever) you have moved on emotionally.
Author Confused4Now Posted April 1, 2009 Author Posted April 1, 2009 And did God tell her its ok to lie to her H too? You are in for a rough ride my friend. My greatest wish for you is that by the time she pulls the trigger and leaves (if ever) you have moved on emotionally. Listen everyone has lied to a point...we really don't need to be reminded. I think what we do as God's children is learn from our mistakes. I'm in the process of learning. I want to make right what I've done wrong and I do know she wants to herself... I guess things just take time....and people have to do it on their own time. It's whether or not you want to wait around. I'm so sick of the same people reminding everyone one we are doing wrong....HEY we know its wrong!!! NO wonder a lot of people post and drop off....it amazes me.
jj33 Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Confused I wasnt criticizing you. I was an OW. I am not religious but you say this woman says God tells her what to do. Her reasoning is rubbish. If my raising that makes you feel guilty because you are very religious, I am sorry that wasnt my intent. Shes a loser. Let her go. Get on with your life.
Author Confused4Now Posted April 1, 2009 Author Posted April 1, 2009 Confused I wasnt criticizing you. I was an OW. I am not religious but you say this woman says God tells her what to do. Her reasoning is rubbish. If my raising that makes you feel guilty because you are very religious, I am sorry that wasnt my intent. Shes a loser. Let her go. Get on with your life. It wasn't directed to you...it was directed to other people.....I'm just sad and heartbroken. I never intended to hurt all these people in my life. But the reality is my kids are hurt...my friends are hurt my parents are hurt....just because I was not happy. All I wanted to do was get out of my situation with my marriage and move on. I'm sorry I fell in love with this woman and if she never makes it out thats fine....I can accept that now. I was just hoping she might be there with me someday. I do know that our relationship has to end and get out of this affair mode. But a part of me thinks she will not make it back.......which is why they say if you truly love something let it go? And just cause she isn't moving fast enough for me doesn't make her a loser. I'm sure she is really confused with her life and SCARED....oh well i'm not anymore.
jj33 Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 The thing is you had the courage to get out. She does not have that courage and is now justifying continuing to lie to her husband. Thats not a good sign. I know its hard to give up the dream. It took me a very long time to do so. But you are free now. Dont put your life on hold again waiting for her to get unstuck. If she comes around great but if she doesnt, you have your life to live.
LakesideDream Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 This is a truely frightening thread on so many levels. I'm quite positive that I would never trust a woman who commucated with God and claimed to have permission to have an extramarital affair. I know for sure I would never turn my back on a woman like that. Why hasn't anyone typed "bunnyboiler"? The delusional behavior described is pathalogical.
whichwayisup Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Why hasn't anyone typed "bunnyboiler"? The delusional behavior described is pathalogical. She's either very messed up in the head from all the physical and emotional abuse from her husband throughout her marriage or she is playing confused for a fool and manipulating/lying to everyone knowing full well what she's doing. I really don't know which it is. Confused claims that the abuse in her marriage is real, from what he's said in the past.
Mr. Lucky Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 She's either very messed up in the head from all the physical and emotional abuse from her husband throughout her marriage or she is playing confused for a fool and manipulating/lying to everyone knowing full well what she's doing. Given statements she's made like this: She also said she was tired of me breaking her heart everytime I do this. I'd say it was the latter. I feel sorry for you, Confused. She seems self-centered to an almost epic proportion... Mr. Lucky
Author Confused4Now Posted April 2, 2009 Author Posted April 2, 2009 Given statements she's made like this: I'd say it was the latter. I feel sorry for you, Confused. She seems self-centered to an almost epic proportion... Mr. Lucky Well she is self-centered and selfish....I do see that.
Author Confused4Now Posted April 13, 2009 Author Posted April 13, 2009 Well she is self-centered and selfish....I do see that. Happy Easter to everyone....I'm still at no contact with MW however I got a interesting phone text today from MW's Husband ...it said this..."Friday-Jesus died 4 your sins Saturday-Jesus sits in hell so we don't have2. Sunday-Jesus rises from the dead 2 give u life....Jesus 4gives" I didn't respond and won't....
bentnotbroken Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Happy Easter to everyone....I'm still at no contact with MW however I got a interesting phone text today from MW's Husband ...it said this..."Friday-Jesus died 4 your sins Saturday-Jesus sits in hell so we don't have2. Sunday-Jesus rises from the dead 2 give u life....Jesus 4gives" I didn't respond and won't.... Why won't you respond? What he says is true.
Author Confused4Now Posted April 13, 2009 Author Posted April 13, 2009 Why won't you respond? What he says is true. Cause it was directed to me...instead of being to directed to all of US.
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