melvcort Posted March 29, 2009 Posted March 29, 2009 Hey everyone, my post really has several very distinct parts and questions so bear with me (please!)... I turn 21 in one month and I think I'm afraid of any sort of romantic relationship. Partly I think the problem is that freshman year I had never had a girlfriend so I rushed into a relationship with a girl and it was bad. I was not at all attracted to her, physically at least, and she was really annoying, mean, and not right for me, at least from my perspective now. There is this girl that I've known since the beginning of college, when we were really good friends. Last year and the first half of this year, I talked to her almost not at all. This semester, however, we've ran into each other at the bar a few times and talked and finally Friday we agreed to hang out. We went out to dinner with a bunch of friends then after that we went to the bar with one of our friends. We didn't drink at all but we danced for about an hour and a half. All of my friends apparently thought that there was something between us and were cheering me on. I thought that they were crazy--I am not interested in this girl romantically, and I assumed she wasn't interested in me either. Then last night I ran into her dancing again and she started dancing with me and we danced for like 45 mins until the place closed. This girl's really good friend who we were there with was saying something to one of my other friends about it too. The problem is that I am not interested in her romantically. She's over a foot shorter than me and has a bigger build, so to speak. That being said, I could still see how someone would find her to be cute. She's also really quiet--I am too--and middle-of-the-road. I don't really know how to describe it. But I feel like a bad person for vetoing her for those reasons. Quite a few of my female friends were like "yeah, go tom!" and cheering for me or whatever, The next day they told me repeatedly that she was cute and I should go for it. I simply said no thats not going to happen we're just friends. Often though, people then pressed me for more, but I pretty much just kept repeating the same thing. I'm so confused about life though. I have friends who really love me (and I love them). Heck, they've been planning my birthday for 2+ months already--I'm hardly even thinking about that yet. I'm nice almost to a fault; once I decide that I like someone, I almost can't even see their flaws. I will defend my friends with everything that I can as well. People tell me I'm funny and I tend to agree, but this can be a problem since its just an inherant part of my personality--I can't turn it off--and so I worry sometime that people can't take me seriously. One of my friends told me that she thinks that half of what I say is BS because I'm so sarcarstic. I'm honest. I will be successful. I get really good grades and I have 3 majors. I dont think I'm ugly--I'm tall, maybe a little scrawny, and I get compliments on how I'm dressed almost everyday. My girl friends are really comfortable around me, too. they sit practically on top of me on the couch when we are parties. They often kiss me on the cheek goodbye rather than the typical hug that they give to a lot of people. I think they all kinda see me as a brother though. At least one has told me that she does. The problem is that I almost always end up attracted to them but just end up ignoring it so we can be friends because I don't think they are into me. Is it wrong to want a girl within a foot of my height and who is more extraverted? (especially when I am quiter myself...) Could you just give me general advice on my situation please? Thanks a ton! -tom
yadungon Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Hope it not too late. you dont [love] her just because she short? what the problem if she shorter than you? if you dont like her just because of her height then yes you a bad person. Do you like her personality, if so i think you shoud give her a chance. did you break up with the "annoying, mean, and not right for me," gf yet? Dont start another unless you ended the first one.
Recommended Posts