London Fella Posted March 29, 2009 Posted March 29, 2009 I cheated on my gf before xmas, she has forgiven me but it no longer feels the same. I tell her I love her which I think I do but it feels like she has what I've done ready to be used against me. Should we carry on, should I just forget about it, put myself first and make sure I'm completely happy?
mr.dream merchant Posted March 29, 2009 Posted March 29, 2009 I cheated on my gf before xmas, she has forgiven me but it no longer feels the same. I tell her I love her which I think I do but it feels like she has what I've done ready to be used against me. Should we carry on, should I just forget about it, put myself first and make sure I'm completely happy? If you cheated I'd try to find it within yourself why you aren't totally satisfied with your GF. But in all fairness I'd break up with her just so she doesn't limit herself to a guy who isn't completely happy with her. Not to bag on you but its not fun to be with someone who isn't happy with you. You just feel strung along. Get single and find it within yourself on what makes you happy.
Trialbyfire Posted March 29, 2009 Posted March 29, 2009 So, when you were cheating, who's happiness were you considering?
Author London Fella Posted March 29, 2009 Author Posted March 29, 2009 I think you know the answer.....but it doesn't / didn't give me true happiness, I wasn't looking to start going out with the OW, just to have some fun. It was a totally sh***y thing to do but I've done it now and can't change it. I'm trying to look at my options for the future
samspade Posted March 29, 2009 Posted March 29, 2009 So, when you were cheating, who's happiness were you considering? No kidding...dude, you are already putting yourself first. Break up, so you can bang other girls without violating someone's trust.
troubadour Posted March 29, 2009 Posted March 29, 2009 Based on your posts I am getting impression that it has been always all about you. You have been putting yourself first and making sure you are "completely happy". You tell her that you love her and you expect her to blindly believe it... just because you tell her. How dare she to question it?
Author London Fella Posted April 1, 2009 Author Posted April 1, 2009 It seems to me after reading other threads on here thatafter someone has cheated they get treated like a extreme sports guy with an injury or a dude who has drank too much and ended up in hospital. Its all your own fault mate, why should the doctors help you......
joybean72 Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Geeze...enough already London Fellow! Break up with your girlfriend so SHE can go and "bang" someone who actually CARES, LOVES her AND puts her first! She deserves better.
samsungxoxo Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 I'm not sure if I understand this post. So you cheated on her and now want to know how to be happy because she is not the same again?? Well my guess is that you can break up if you aren't satisfied with your girlfriend. If you don't have patience rebuilding the trust after cheating on her then you guys should go on separate ways.
polarisracer54 Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 My boyfriend has cheated on me twice. we have been together for almost 4 years. I cant even trust him at all. whenever he goes anywhere i also think the worse. i want to leave him but i think that i love him, we always argue because i think he has done something. I don't act like myself anymore, im so insecure and i don't want to go anywhere because i think hes doning something. I don't know about your girl and how she feels but that is how i felt when my bf cheated on me. I would leave her jus so you don't hurt her again. Why would you want to always have to make sure that you don't say anything wrong or look at a girl wrong just because of your history.:) I cheated on my gf before xmas, she has forgiven me but it no longer feels the same. I tell her I love her which I think I do but it feels like she has what I've done ready to be used against me. Should we carry on, should I just forget about it, put myself first and make sure I'm completely happy?
Trialbyfire Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 It seems to me after reading other threads on here thatafter someone has cheated they get treated like a extreme sports guy with an injury or a dude who has drank too much and ended up in hospital. Its all your own fault mate, why should the doctors help you...... You're not hurt.You made the conscious choice to cheat.You have to rebuild trust.You cannot put a deadline on rebuilding trust.If you're not happy, walk.We don't get paid to help.We owe you nothing.Are you with me so far?
Kaii Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I stayed with someone for 8 years after cheating and it was NEVER the same afterwards. The betrayal and anger were always lurking beneath the surface. You obviously weren't happy with your relationship on some level in the first place and if you are still questioning YOUR happiness, then you should do the right thing by this poor girl and break up with her before you end up cheating on her again. Set her free. You know in your heart what the right thing to do is.
huck Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Your lucky shes still with you mate. You dont deserve her wotsoever.. If you were happy with the relationship before you cheated on her - then thats just plain nasty. Not having a pop at you but maybe youll learn your lesson and one day someone you love will cheat on you - then youll feel how much it hurts. Let your girlfriend go - then she can find a proper man to love...
Dexter Morgan Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I cheated on my gf before xmas, she has forgiven me but it no longer feels the same. I tell her I love her which I think I do but it feels like she has what I've done ready to be used against me. Thats only been about only 4 months. Its still very fresh for her. Or are you the kind of cheater that thinks you can cheat and not have to suffer any problems with the person you f#cked over in a short term period? Should we carry on, should I just forget about it, put myself first and make sure I'm completely happy? Well you sure aren't about the happiness of your gf. So just break up with her and set her free so she can find someone trustworthy. I'm trying to look at my options for the future Thats easy. break up with your gf as she deserves better.....and don't enter into any committed relationships after that. You can't handle committment.
Trialbyfire Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 This is a prevalent attitude that many people who cheat, display. A sense of self-entitlement that the world owes you help or your g/f owes you forgiveness, for doing nothing.
samsungxoxo Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 This is a prevalent attitude that many people who cheat, display. A sense of self-entitlement that the world owes you help or your g/f owes you forgiveness, for doing nothing. True you have done nothing special to your girlfriend, no actual benefits whatsoever so I don't know why are you still complaining.... Now I read his other thread in which he stated that he had a drunken kiss with the other girl and he's mad that his girlfriend keeps on rubbing it in his face. I kinda see where he's coming from, it's not like he had sex with the other girl. See the poster is complaining about the girlfriend taking his type of cheating as if it was an ongoing affair where intercourse is involved.
Author London Fella Posted April 2, 2009 Author Posted April 2, 2009 cheers guys for all the posts, you know I agree with all the just break up statements, set her free etc. But yes I am being selfish and looking at whats best for me. I'm saying is it at all possible to work it out? I'm sure if we did split up she would find someone but we ar together right now, hat can we do to make it better?
samsungxoxo Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 My guess would be to do what she likes the most. If that is going partying then be at that party with her. If it's writing a book then make up a story of what she wants to hear. I guess if you wanna stay with her just go by her rules and don't put a time limit to it.
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