twicebitten Posted March 29, 2009 Posted March 29, 2009 Hi all! I've been lurking for awhile. Now ready to seek all of your valuable opinions/advice!!! This is all too long/complicated, so I'll try to "bullet-form" it ... Met a man in July (3 years post divorce from 15 year marriage & two years of BAD dating)! We seemed PERFECT, both wanted the same dreams/goals & had AMAZING chemistry. I wanted to take it slower, but he was sooo doting, attentive, sweet .. always there for me if I had a car-prob, money-prob, if I was sick & I fell in-love with him! But it was so whirl-wind ... got engaged in OCT (just a week after I finally slept with him). BUT then ... 10 days letter (as I was awaiting him to get me for a celeratory dinner) he TEXTED me that he was going hunting w/buddies, etc., .. I FREAKED, he shut-down ... NC for a couple weeks, meanwhile I miscarry (didn't know I was PG)... we talk, etc., get back together. Things were GOOD again and by Nov he asks "When are you guys moving in?" (I have a daughter, he has a son). THEN, a week later he seems distant ... went 4 days NOT answering calls/texts. I was PISSED. he went hot/cold again! By Dec. we're "talking" again, but this time he tells me he's seeing someone but LOVES ME & wants to break it off to be with me. I STUPIDLY accept that & tell him that when his 'sitch' is over then we can talk! BUT this goes on for several weeks .. his declarations of LOVE for me, yet not wanting to hurt anyone!?? What!? In Jan. my Grandma died (she raised me) I was VERY distraught AND stuck in an ice-storm .. he came & 'rescued' me! I was greiving & slept with him ... I get PG AGAIN!! I am 43 YO, yet seemingly LOST my friggin mind over this guy!!?? Anyway, fast forward it's Feb & I find out it's TWINS .. I'm freaked, yet he seems HAPPY!?? WTH!?? He's STILL with (whomever, as well)! At this point I HATED myself for continually going back/falling for him! I mean, for crying-out-loud, I did NOT chase my own husband when he left for another woman .. I had my SELF-RESPECT, yet have seemed to LOSE that!!?? NEXT I find out he's with his ex-wife (through a friend of mine who's building his website!! I LOSE the babies ... it was a NIGHTMARE ... he wasn't there for me .. I changed all my #'s and went FULL NC!! Get an email two weeks ago asking about me & the "babies"... how was I doing? I didn't answer (per advice of GFs) But after 8 days felt morally I HAD to tell him that I miscarried again! So, I called (w/blocked #) and OMG ... he talked me into seeing him to "Talk" ... I went (stupid A**)! To TOP IT OFF he wants ME to try & dig-up-dirt on his ex so he can be "done" with her because he (of course) is in-love with ME!??? I told him that NO I'm NOT getting involved with that DRAMA! OK, I will admit to being a gullible idiot in this whole senario, but I've NEVER met anyone like him or anyone that had BLATANTLY lied to me, or about their feelings, so I really fell for his SH*T!! Plus, I think I have some kind of sick-sexual-addiction to him (we were totally in-sync that way)!! Soooo, ANY insight as to WTH WAS this? Does he sound like he has some kind of mental-condition, personality disorder ... psycho!??? Seriously, who does this!?? I guess I just need insight/help from those that have had experience with those that ran hot/cold, giving cold shoulder, yet insisting that they were iN-LOVE with ME etc., Ok, embarrassing as it is ...I NEED you guys to KNOCK-SENSE into me & encourage me to END this once & for all!! THANK YOU sooo much - Twicebitten -
Author twicebitten Posted March 29, 2009 Author Posted March 29, 2009 OMG I forgot to mention something VITAL!!! Mid-Feb I got a text reading:" I'm calling the PD if you text/call me anymore ... for harrassment!" It was utterly shocking to receive this from him knowing I've NEVER harrassed him (or anyone for that matter)!! Hence: the reason I was even afraid to respond to his email, as well! BUT he has since admitted that it was a lie on his part because my best GF was texting him the night prior (she was concerned about the pregnancy, etc.,) & he was pissed-off, felt that my GFs were butting-in our business!! WTH!??? NO SANE person would resort to that ... right!?? I mean, I have soooo much resentment toward him, feeling as if all the drama/stress made me miscarry in the 1st place!! YES, he's sooo sorry now! Yeah, right ... where was he when I/we needed him ... off with his EX probably!??? Is this bi-polar ... a personality disorder ... !?? ANYONE have insight/experience to share!!?? No matter how bad he's hurt me, I'm STILL having trouble with NC & escaping his 'grasp'!!! XO
sedgwick Posted March 29, 2009 Posted March 29, 2009 The main question this post brings up for me is: WHY are you sleeping with this guy without condoms? He's running around on you, and he is obviously not the kind of person you want to be a father to your children. USE PROTECTION!!!!!!!!!! (Unless both pregnancies were a result of condom breakage, which seems unlikely.) That said, his behavior is reprehensible and I hope you'll see that and run far, far away. Nobody deserves to be treated the way he's treating you.
Author twicebitten Posted March 29, 2009 Author Posted March 29, 2009 SW thank you for your response!!! It's Sunday (the day we used to share as 'family' day) and it's HARD!! As far as protection ... YES, the 1st time we did NOT use any (we went for testing) & then we proceeded on! He is a GREAT daddy to his 5YO old son & treated my daughter (11YO) like gold & hence one reason I fell in-love with him! BUT after I knew he was seeing somone else ... I MADE him use protection!! Yes, shockingly it broke!! WHY ME!!?? So, PLEASE anyone help me understand WHY someone treats another they supposedly love this way ... what compels this behavior!!?? And I need encouragment to stay STRONG & AWAY from him!! XOXO - Twicebitten -
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