intoodeep Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 I accidentally posted this in the 'dating' forum. Sorry! If there is a mod who wants to delete the other topic it'd be great. I just need help is all I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 32, we have been together 9 months. I found out that he has been texting his ex-girlfriend (a 40 year old stripper with 5 children) some racy stuff. I saw his phone light up and it was a text from her that said "Love you." So I went through his phone and found messages about how he missed making love to her and had dirty thoughts about her. Here's the thing. He treats me like a PRINCESS!!! This man tells me all the time that I'm the best thing to happen to him. That I've calmed him down a lot and made him a better person. That I'm his best friend and confidante and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. That I'm the girl he's been looking for. He is always buying me clothes and/or jewerly, making me dinner, paying for my groceries, and doing nice things for my little sister (who is mentally handicapped). I'm good friends with his sister. His mom loves me. His friends love me. I even found a receipt in his truck to a jewerly store for an engagement ring, and he has hinted he wants to propose on my birthday. My family likes him too. How on earth can someone who supposedly loves you so much and do SO MUCH for you, possibly do this behind your back?? Does he love me?? Does he love her? I want to confront him but I was being nosy. I feel like I'd be being ungrateful for all the things he does for me if I were to confront him over this. What would you do??
alphamale Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Does he love me?? Does he love her? can't really tell from the info presented
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Look up the Madonna/Whore syndrome. Sounds like he has it pretty bad.
sugarmomma Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 I smell a rat! A man that loves you would not be telling another woman that he misses screwing her! I mean come on. You are 25 and I am older so believe me when I say-Don't believe anything that comes out of a man's mouth but believe his actions. Do Not Marry this person. This is just a preview of the coming attraction. What do you mean you would feel ungrateful if you confronted him? Get some balls and let him know that you know exactly what's going on. Who gives a care what happens after that. What's the worst that could happen? You'll simply know that you're dealing with a snake. You can get another man that is good to you. Stay true to yourself about the reality of this. This is not minor.
MichelleS1983 Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Most men have a very easy time separating love from sex. Seems women are now portraying that same behavior as well. Anyway, you just happen to have one of those guys that totally separates his love relationship from his scuzzy pig on-the-side sexual behavior - and doesn't feel that the two things have ANYTHING to do with the other. I know alot of guys like this - their whoring around has nothing to do with the women 'they love.' He's a self-entitled a*sshole thinking with his d*ck. He ain't the first guy whose done it and he certainly won't be the last.
You'reasian Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 I accidentally posted this in the 'dating' forum. Sorry! If there is a mod who wants to delete the other topic it'd be great. I just need help is all I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 32, we have been together 9 months. I found out that he has been texting his ex-girlfriend (a 40 year old stripper with 5 children) some racy stuff. I saw his phone light up and it was a text from her that said "Love you." So I went through his phone and found messages about how he missed making love to her and had dirty thoughts about her. Here's the thing. He treats me like a PRINCESS!!! This man tells me all the time that I'm the best thing to happen to him. That I've calmed him down a lot and made him a better person. That I'm his best friend and confidante and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. That I'm the girl he's been looking for. He is always buying me clothes and/or jewerly, making me dinner, paying for my groceries, and doing nice things for my little sister (who is mentally handicapped). I'm good friends with his sister. His mom loves me. His friends love me. I even found a receipt in his truck to a jewerly store for an engagement ring, and he has hinted he wants to propose on my birthday. My family likes him too. How on earth can someone who supposedly loves you so much and do SO MUCH for you, possibly do this behind your back?? Does he love me?? Does he love her? I want to confront him but I was being nosy. I feel like I'd be being ungrateful for all the things he does for me if I were to confront him over this. What would you do?? The two of you need to have a sit down conversation about this and put it to rest. Don't be argumentative - be sincere and concerned. I want to wish you the best of luck with this. I'm sure it'll turn out fine.
Mr. Lucky Posted March 29, 2009 Posted March 29, 2009 I want to wish you the best of luck with this. I'm sure it'll turn out fine. It will, as long as you're willing to put up with his side activities... Mr. Lucky
samspade Posted March 29, 2009 Posted March 29, 2009 He is way out of line. Don't excuse his bad behavior because he treats you like a princess. And don't feel bad for being nosy. He's being sneaky and he got found out. He clearly doesn't love you as much as you think.
Cherished Posted March 29, 2009 Posted March 29, 2009 Hmm....maybe he's already cheated on you. I wouldn't trust him. I would not excuse this and move on from this relationship.
Author intoodeep Posted March 29, 2009 Author Posted March 29, 2009 Thanks for the responses So last night I confronted him, because I just couldn't take it anymore. After seeing yet ANOTHER text on his phone. I grabbed it from him and saw her name and told him I had seen text messages from her before and what they said. And asked why he was still talking to her. He kept saying he was so sorry. How she is a b**** and means nothing to him. That nothing physical ever happened between them that the texts never meant anything. I asked him why he didnt tell me he was talking to her and he said he knew I'd get upset. That it just started out as them being friends again and somehow lead to that kind of flirting, which supposedly means nothing. Afterwards he even texted her right in front of me that I am his whole world and he can't risk losing me and wants nothing further to do with her. He kept going on and on about how if he loses me he loses everything. I came home anyways, despite his literally begging me not to go anywhere. I haven't seen or talked to him since I came home last night, even though my phone is blowing up with calls and "I love you so much come back" text messages as I type this. But I am aching inside. I want to forgive him and believe we can work this out. But how can someone who loves you go behind your back and do this?? I can not fathom that. I guess I need some time to think on this....
Cherished Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 Good for you for not caving in. It is good you are taking time for yourself to decide what you want. What he has done so far is all fine and dandy, but not enough. Make him SWEAT.
tyhbvf Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 I accidentally posted this in the 'dating' forum. Sorry! If there is a mod who wants to delete the other topic it'd be great. I just need help is all I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 32, we have been together 9 months. I found out that he has been texting his ex-girlfriend (a 40 year old stripper with 5 children) some racy stuff. I saw his phone light up and it was a text from her that said "Love you." So I went through his phone and found messages about how he missed making love to her and had dirty thoughts about her. Here's the thing. He treats me like a PRINCESS!!! This man tells me all the time that I'm the best thing to happen to him. That I've calmed him down a lot and made him a better person. That I'm his best friend and confidante and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. That I'm the girl he's been looking for. He is always buying me clothes and/or jewerly, making me dinner, paying for my groceries, and doing nice things for my little sister (who is mentally handicapped). I'm good friends with his sister. His mom loves me. His friends love me. I even found a receipt in his truck to a jewerly store for an engagement ring, and he has hinted he wants to propose on my birthday. My family likes him too. How on earth can someone who supposedly loves you so much and do SO MUCH for you, possibly do this behind your back?? Does he love me?? Does he love her? I want to confront him but I was being nosy. I feel like I'd be being ungrateful for all the things he does for me if I were to confront him over this. What would you do?? Learn to love him so much that you will accept his other girlfriend. If you do not allow him then you do not really love him. He loves you. You have proven it by what he does for you. The secret knowledge to a successful relationship/marriage is to let a man have his side babe and pretend not to know about. Men are more advanced than women in love. A man can love hundreds of women and have sex with all of them. A man has truly evolved when it comes to love and sex. A woman is tremendously selfish. A woman does not want to share her man because she fears losing him. Advance your consciousness girl. Let your man have another woman. If you really love him you will accept that a man must be a man. If you want a man to be just into you then become a lesbian. Lesbians do not cheat. Men do. And will always do. Like the Sun rises. Learn to love. And stop being so selfish. SHARE.
sugarmomma Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 Pure foolishness!!! All men do not believe in cheating. She just needs to dfind a man that has the same values and beliefs that she has. Is this the same woman that he was telling that he missed having sex with her? He obviously sees nothing wrong with what he did or else he wouldn't have done it. Some men are for marrying and some are just for dating or having fun. He is not the marrying kind.
doushenka Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 Do the opposite of everything the troll at #12 said to do. You should be all set.
hurt4life Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Learn to love him so much that you will accept his other girlfriend. If you do not allow him then you do not really love him. He loves you. You have proven it by what he does for you. The secret knowledge to a successful relationship/marriage is to let a man have his side babe and pretend not to know about. Men are more advanced than women in love. A man can love hundreds of women and have sex with all of them. A man has truly evolved when it comes to love and sex. A woman is tremendously selfish. A woman does not want to share her man because she fears losing him. Advance your consciousness girl. Let your man have another woman. If you really love him you will accept that a man must be a man. If you want a man to be just into you then become a lesbian. Lesbians do not cheat. Men do. And will always do. Like the Sun rises. Learn to love. And stop being so selfish. SHARE. You are so f'd in the head. What you said has no logic at all. How can any relationship work if there are others on the side. There is no way I could let my girl be with someone else and pretend like I don't know. Nor would she allow me to do so. I just don't understand where you come up with all this. How can you tell her to stop being selfish and learn to share? He's the selfish one, not her. What world are you from? That lesbian comment is so retarted too.
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