melissa123 Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Heya This is the first time I have written in this section and I apologise in advance as this will seem rather whingy and negative! Anyway I am 20, just about to turn 21 and to be honest im not happy anymore Im am So stressed out and sad most of the day. I am full time at university studying a science degree in my last year. To be honest I dont enjoy what im studying anymore in the slightest but have come so far I feel it would be a waste not to graduate now. I also am finding it SO hard and barely even understand it. I am also a full time athlete and train every morning at 4:30am. Also every afternoons aswell. I used to be the biggest craze in my country but now im starting to slide backwards and havent been on my game for a while despite my frantic practice. I also work two jobs to pay for all this and spend my weekends and nights working. With all this going on I never have anytime to relax. I am constantly on the move and constantly tired. I hardly ever go out anymore as im just to tired or I have to much to do. I am soo stressed out right now. I have 5 assingments due by the next week which I just dont understand. I have a test through work and im also rostered on all weekend. Plus im trainning for a major competition and im just not preforming well at all currently and am majorily stressed. Its the enf of term alsmost and everyone is out partying but i cant go as I have to much to do. Last night I just caved and burst into tears. Im so busy and stressed all the time I cant take it. I used to be fun and happy when I was around 17-18 then a major breakup came which destoryed my life and I just have never been happy since. I have been diagonised with depression and my doctor reccomended I go out weith friends more but I just cant as im either shattered or have to much work to do. How do i enjoy life again and get back to being that fun loving happy person I used to be? I just go through the motions of day to day life now.
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 It sounds like you are simply too busy. You are so busy you can't really appreciate or find the joy in anything you do anymore. It's become a chore and a consumption of time. I wouldn't advise dropping out of your degree, you've already come so far and it's only one more year. You may simply need to stick out just 1 more year before you can readdress some kind of balance for your life. I'm guessing the tournaments can't go either, so can you not tone down on the training? And can neither of the jobs go or are they both necessary? You may need to stick out just 1 more year and once university is over that will free up a lot more time. Are you procrastinating with uni? If you get things done as and when they come up that should help you. If you are struggling, speak to your tutors/lecturers, see if you can push a few deadlines etc.
sugarmomma Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Whenever I feel like this I write a gratitude list. It helps to remind me that I could be wothout all the things I am grateful for and be in much worst shape. Just try it Write about 20 things that you are grateful for and imagine life without them. Or go out and help some people less fortunate in a homeless shelter or the like. Just do something that will ge tyou outside of thinking about yourself. JMHO
Author melissa123 Posted March 28, 2009 Author Posted March 28, 2009 Heya nikki Your right! Im to busy to enjoy life. Right now ive just finished trainning and am trying to cram in some quick study before I go off to work, then back to trainning! And of course tonight I will be up to the small hours trying to finish all my assingments off. Your also right when you say to stick with uni. I wouldnt drop out now, the problem is I am not naturally smart and really have to study to pass things. But I dont have the time. Im CONSTANTLY stressing that I will fail and let everyone and myself down. Further more when it comes to trainning Im starting to slide back. I used to be our countries big hopes but now im going backwards and younger kids are comming up and starting to really challenge me. I dont get much attention anymore as its all them. I train and train and Im sooo stressed as I dont want to be slidding backwards like I am. When im at trainning im always stressed about the assingment I have due and feel guilty that im not doing them, But when im doing uni work I feel guilty for not trainning enough and know its my fault im slidding backwards! Basically im just finding it impossible to do and be good at both. Im always stressed and always feeling guilty. Then of course im starting to lose friends as I basically have NO time to socialise AND I have to pay for EVERYTHING so im frantically working two jobs to scrap together enough money to pay for it all. Im just not happy anymore But I feel theres nothing I can do about it I just cant win
Author melissa123 Posted March 28, 2009 Author Posted March 28, 2009 Whenever I feel like this I write a gratitude list. It helps to remind me that I could be wothout all the things I am grateful for and be in much worst shape. Just try it Write about 20 things that you are grateful for and imagine life without them. Or go out and help some people less fortunate in a homeless shelter or the like. Just do something that will ge tyou outside of thinking about yourself. JMHO Thanks sugarmomma I agree again. I know there is SOOO much worse that couuld happen. I am so lucky to have a roof over my head and food on the table every night. And without blowing my own trumpet Im sure some people wouldbe jealous of the things I do. Its just the stress thats really getting to me. Im CONSTANTLY on the move and CONSTANTLY tired. Its getting me down alot and I just find im not really happy any more like I used to be. But yes I agree there is SOO much worse that could happen so I will try my best to be greatful Thanks
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Heya nikki Your right! Im to busy to enjoy life. Right now ive just finished trainning and am trying to cram in some quick study before I go off to work, then back to trainning! And of course tonight I will be up to the small hours trying to finish all my assingments off. Your also right when you say to stick with uni. I wouldnt drop out now, the problem is I am not naturally smart and really have to study to pass things. But I dont have the time. Im CONSTANTLY stressing that I will fail and let everyone and myself down. Further more when it comes to trainning Im starting to slide back. I used to be our countries big hopes but now im going backwards and younger kids are comming up and starting to really challenge me. I dont get much attention anymore as its all them. I train and train and Im sooo stressed as I dont want to be slidding backwards like I am. When im at trainning im always stressed about the assingment I have due and feel guilty that im not doing them, But when im doing uni work I feel guilty for not trainning enough and know its my fault im slidding backwards! Basically im just finding it impossible to do and be good at both. Im always stressed and always feeling guilty. Then of course im starting to lose friends as I basically have NO time to socialise AND I have to pay for EVERYTHING so im frantically working two jobs to scrap together enough money to pay for it all. Im just not happy anymore But I feel theres nothing I can do about it I just cant win Try not to be put so much pressure on yourself. Focus on what you want from the degree and the competition. Are they both for career puproses? Prioritise which is more important. If you still must keep both, then try to alleviate some of the stress. Think of the worst, i.e. you fail the year. It's not ideal but you can always repeat. So in other words, IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. I would ask your tutors/lecturers for extended deadlines/revision lessons etc.
kizik Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 I cannot fathom for the life of me why so many young girls feel that they have to be heart-attack, mind-screamingly busy in order to feel valuable. I recognize that a lot of it is parental pressure. I just want to strangle these parents who put pounds and pounds of pressure on their daughter's shoulders. Melissa, what you're doing is not living. You are unable to sit and simply enjoy ANYthing. That sucks! My guess is that you are proud of yourself for your accomplishments (which, of course, you SHOULD be) but the reality of your life is that it's incredibly hectic and frustrating. Take less classes next term. You don't have to be doing 20 credits. Go full-time, and nothing more. Start yoga. Start jogging. Start masturbating. Just CHILL.
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