thattia Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 so i knew this guy through school and asked him to hang out a month later he asked me to be his girlfriend. there was a lot in common and we hit it off pretty well. he always said that he never would have asked me to hang out because i was way out of his league. so we dated for 10 months total... never had a fight or an argument... which i always thought was kinda weird.hes 27 and im 25. about 6 months in we had a talk and both cried but felt like we had gotten closer. during this time we had never said i love you i thought maybe because at the beginning i went into this whole thing about not saying it unless i really meant it. anyways everything was going fine and he asked me to move with him to a different city two weeks before i was dumped and i said i would. he had graduated college and i was about to. i went away on a trip and when i got back he was hugging and kissing me... acting normal said he was tired because he was out late with his friends. i stayed the night everything seemed good the next morning he invited me to his families house for dinner. earlier in the day a friend (girl) of his asked if my bf had told me about them going for a walk and he hadnt said anything but i didnt think it was a big deal. never had big jealousy issues. then he came to my house and i asked him about it he told me and it was fine no big deal. that night he kept asking me to cuddle while i was unpacking. and he gave me back and foot rubs we were intimate the next morning same thing back rub/ intimacy. talked about things we were going to do... movies we should go see etc. he left to go to work and after work i talked to him but he seemed kinda weird...said he was just tired. so i thought it was weird...something about it i had a gut feeling i didnt know what but i just knew something and said we should talk he called and we said we'd talk the next day. so all the next day i heard nothing. and i thought it was very weird. he came over and i expected we would have a talk and then hang out...but he came over and said he hadnt been into it for the last month and couldnt do it anymore. he had been talking to the friend from the walk about it that night i got back from my trip. said that he would never love me. i was shocked asked why he said it was nothing tangible. he shouldnt have asked me to move he was pretending that something would change. i told him to go bc i didnt know what to think. started crying and then texted and asked why he could tell her first and not even give me a good explanation. he said he knew it was out of nowhere he felt like a jerk... never wanted to hurt me, should have said something sooner. cant change the way he feels. he likes me alot but... and the girl was just listening to him talk. he had tears in his eyes. so after that night i stopped contact. i saw him the next day he was looking down all sad and wasnt going to say anything to me. i thought it was weird not to so i just smiled and said hi. he said hi all sad. and that was it. its been a little over a week with no contact. he puts up weird messages about being sad obviously directed at me. a few days ago the friend from the walk says to me i just wanted to let you know that me and greg (myex) arent dating. i think he wants to talk to you hes upset and feels like **** that he hurt you. so i just acted like i was fine and i was over it... i think she could maybe tell a little that i wasnt. anyways ive heard nothing and i dont know what to think. i was thinking of writing an email because i didnt even get to say anything except why because i honestly did not see it coming. i dont want to break the no contact but i feel like i wont feel better until i say how i felt... i mean i would be rational and calm not accusing and or angry. i mean i just feel i deserve a better explanation after almost a year... i mean literally it was about 3 minutes that he was at my place and gone... i dont get it. and i still have a ton of his stuff. what do i do? wait longer to send it....like a month or get it out of the way now so i can try to start to get over it? or do i wait a few more days and see if he does try to contact me? i mean we had fun and got along good. why ask me to move if your thinking of dumping me two weeks later? you dont ask someone to move if your thinking its not going to work and you usually act distant if you dont want to be with someone. you dont ask them to cuddle, give them back rubs, have sex and apologize for being disappointing at sex because you cant go long, talk about what your going to do that week and then dump them... usually you try to avoid talking about that stuff not bringing it up on your own right? i need answers!
Scorpio13c Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Hi Thattia, Sorry you're going through this.. I think you should get his stuff back to him as soon as you can, maybe through a friend & remain in no contact. For whatever reason, he doesn't know what he wants & you shouldn't have to be on the grieving end of this. Give him his space & let him think about what he wants. Good luck to you! Scorp
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