kupoforever Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 I am living with a man and we have one child together and another on the way (we also both have children from prior relationships, who live with us full time). The home we live in is in my name only (he refused to get his name on the mortgage), all the bills as well. A few years back when I was pregnant with our daughter I asked him to marry me twice, he not only said “no” he laughed in my face. I am a professional and make 3 X more then him, I pay the bills, he works full time and watches our daughter during the day. Even though we make pretty good money, without him providing child-care I would be not able to survive finically because I would have to hire a nanny because my hours are crazy. He is a good dad and lover, but that is where it ends! He does not help around the house, he will not wash a dish and refused for several months to fix the washer. I can not remember the last time we did anything romantic together and other than sex and the kids we really have little in the way of connections at this point. I can not break up (maybe in a few years but not right now without becoming homeless and likely jobless, so that is really not an option.) My solutions at this point are to be a complete b***h all the time, bring up the lack of commitments he has made to me when ever possible and to refuse to give this new child his last name. I am also considering taking him to court to have child support ordered, custody decided and putting certain things like him watching our daughter (and eventually the new baby) in an order so he can just not take off. Of course none of this is really fixing the situation but at least I can try to make him completely miserable. I do not know what else to do, any suggestions? Please refrain from telling me how messed up I am because really I wake up everyday feeling pretty miserable already so I get it. I did love him once, and maybe could again but I hurt everyday, and feel like a complete loser! We were in counseling but it was expensive and then we learned his insurance covered it (mine did not) so he was supposed to call his insurance company and find some new covered counselors but he never did.
trying123 Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 All I can say is I am so sorry. Go to counseling. See somebody. Get your stuff in order, I don't know what else to stay. Take care of yourself, it looks like you know what you are doing. Its not gonna help to make him miserable, all I can say is keep talking and keep the lines of communications open, but go to counseling. good luck
TheJoker Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 By the sounds of things he is too laid back and trying to get those court orders on him wont make him miserable, I think counseling is very important for you at this stage. You sound like you just need a break take a day off and do something you want to do
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