420honey Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 I've been seeing a guy since the beginning of this month. Toward the middle of the month, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Things have been going really great! I am new to relationships. I posted about it a while ago, but I don't know where the post is now. Anyways, he hasn't been in a relationship in a while. He is taking his girls to Florida next month for a dolphin sleepover (?). It's something that's run by Seaworld, where you get to spend the weekend at a cove where dolphins sleep...anyway, I KNOW this can't be cheap. He makes a lot of money, and invests most of it in spending time with his kids. He invited me to go. We have not been together long. It sounds really exciting for me. I have never gone on a vacation with a romantic interest, let alone something this extravagant! He offered to pay for the whole thing. I would have the money to go, but I don't really like spending (I'm a saver). This all sounds really nice, but is it too soon for something like this? I offered to pay for at LEAST half, but he insists on footing the entire bill. This seems like a LOT though. It is more than anyone has ever offered to do for me in my life. I don't want to say no and seem rude, but I'd feel really weird about going since the trip was intended for his kids. I kind of want to accept the offer and leave a bunch of cash in his bedroom so he can't say no. I am really starting to like this guy, having spent the last few weeks seeing him a few times a week. We went camping which went great. We've gone to a couple of local concerts, taken his kids to the Aquarium and a lot of other places...I've been having so much fun. I don't want to miss out on this if our relationship ends up going somewhere. But I don't want to feel like a jerk if we breakup and I end up going with them.
GAchasen Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Sounds like this guy really likes you. Do you want to go? If so, go. If it will make you feel better offter to pay for different activities or dinners. The only thing that would bother me a little more is how long you have known him (1 month) and then him introducing you to his kids. How old are his kids? I think kids are a huge factor in the relationship and I would wonder why you are being introduced so early to them...???
missdependant Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 OMG, you are so freaking lucky, of course you should go.. I think I know exactly what you're talking about for the vacation, I think I've seen it on travel channel before. If it is what I think it is, it's definitely a once in a lifetime thing.. you should go for sure!
Timmers Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Hell, I would definitely go. But I guess that's jumping the shark a bit early. How do you like his kids? Do you get along with them? If he makes plenty of money I'd just let him pay for it. If it makes you uncomfortable you can tell him that you'll let him pay for it but only if he won't think you "owe" him anything for it later on.
Author 420honey Posted March 28, 2009 Author Posted March 28, 2009 Sounds like this guy really likes you. Do you want to go? If so, go. If it will make you feel better offter to pay for different activities or dinners. The only thing that would bother me a little more is how long you have known him (1 month) and then him introducing you to his kids. How old are his kids? I think kids are a huge factor in the relationship and I would wonder why you are being introduced so early to them...??? They are seven and four (almost five). The four year old is not his biological daughter, but the mother is in trouble most of the time and he didn't want to separate them when he took full custody of the oldest. From what I gather, the whole situation is really complicated. She's in and out of jail, and doesn't seem to care much about them. He has had them with him for two, almost three years now. The whole parenting thing was sort of dropped on him and he seems to feel very new to it (mother left him and took the oldest when she wasn't even one year old, and had the four year old with an unknown man). He says he has dated a couple of other women in the past, but has been focusing more on his kids. He never brought those women around the kids because he "didn't feel like it was going anywhere". It actually feels really good to know that he was comfortable enough to introduce us. He doesn't seem to mind at all and I certainly don't either (the kids are great, and I really, really, really adore them). I've always loved kids, but don't know if I'll ever want to have any of my own. He originally introduced me to the kids as his "friend". He recently had a talk with them, and told him that I'm his girlfriend and he said they were really excited about it. He doesn't have much time away from them as a single father, so he brings them with us on some dates which is perfectly fine with me. If that's how he'd like to parent, I'm not going to stop him as that is more his business than mine at this point. I get along with the kids very well. They're really well-behaved and smart...obviously both have gone through a lot, which I think kind of draws me to them. I am sort of unsure on whether or not I want to go...I really, really, really like him and I love his kids and they seem to really like me too. And the vacation sounds so great. I can't even believe it was offered to me. I still can't even believe I'm dating him! He has a lot of money..But that still seems like so much to offer someone. I'd feel bad accepting something that huge. But I'd feel stupid not to go. Thank you for the advice I still have some thinking to do.
Island Girl Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Yes you should go if you would like to. And as someone else suggested, if you want to "pay back" then offer to pay for some of the other expenses like a few meals, etc. But just be aware that if he says no and that he doesn't want you to pay for anything that he is "happy to do so". Let it go. It can be insulting if someone wants to keep pressing about an issue like that.
zilverenvlinder Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Oh my god, you need to go! That sounds amazing. I'm super jealous! I would go with a guy I met on the street if he asked me! (Well...maybe not...but you get it...)
D-Lish Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Just go... Offer to pay for a lunch or ice cream while you are there. If he's offered and you like him, this is a good chance to figure out how if this relationship is viable.
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