Girlygirl1977 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I wrote about this ex originally in a different post. He is 40-yr who had commtiment issues (not brought up by me). I'm 31. We dated intensely for 3 months - relatively enjoyable with him initiating most of it and he seemed very into it. We broke up in begining of Jan. I went to puerto rico for a weekend and he magically showed up the day before - he came for no reason last minute. I met him for a drink but he had nothing new to tell me (this was mid jan). We met up once in February. His father died mid february and i haven't seen him since esp. as he has spent more time in his hometown (back 3 wks ago and then went back etc.). i haven't mentioned that i was dating someone b/c his father died and i wasn't going to rub it in his face. well he sent me a msg today and said he is ok given his father's death esp. b/c they were distant (ouch - man emotional compartmentalist! as expected). He's adopted and never was close to his adoptive father - made lots of snarky remarks while we were dating. He also said he has a threat to my theory about 40 yr old men b/c in a way i mocked him b/c i said (after we broke up) that unmarried 40yr old men are either gay, workaholic or commitment-phobes or all of the above. he said he met someone recently - but cant be more than 3wks and it seems like a serious threat to my theory. Ok let's see b/c 3wks doesnt say that yet. . . .and then he dared to say that he would like to meet up with me but he would understand if i find it less interesting now. he also said the woman went to my college and is from a certain part of the world i am from too?! he didn't know people from that part of the world before me so much. He proposed to meet for "tea" on sunday but I will be pretty busy - so i said i will play it by ear. i had to laugh at the whole thing. amazing! What is up with that? Rude or crazy or?
samspade Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 He sounds like he is trying to prove something to you because he's not really over you. It's kind of lame, in my opinion. i mocked him b/c i said (after we broke up) that unmarried 40yr old men are either gay, workaholic or commitment-phobes or all of the above. This is kind of lame, too. I hope you were joking.
Author Girlygirl1977 Posted March 27, 2009 Author Posted March 27, 2009 He sounds like he is trying to prove something to you because he's not really over you. It's kind of lame, in my opinion. This is kind of lame, too. I hope you were joking. I have to say that I was pretty much joking this was sort of during/after break-up - comeon! He has referenced it a couple of times so maybe he takes it more seriously than I do. And he should understand that I was dating him so if I thought so, why would I have even bothered right?
Cherished Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I think it is rather rude to make that statement about him being a 40-year old. A couple months ago I went on a (set-up) date with a comic book store worker who was a virgin at age 38....I wasn't at all attracted, and the fact that he announced to me that he was a virgin and had had no luck with women and obsessed over a woman who told him straight up she wasn't into him over a year ago to the point that it put him into a deep depression of not leaving the house....well, all that creeped the hell out of me and I did not accept another date but hell.....I don't go telling him my honest opinion of why I don't want to see him again. This guy obviously (as this one you went out with) has self-esteem issues, why make them worse? I don't see why this is bugging you enough to post at all. Just ignore his further contact.
Author Girlygirl1977 Posted March 27, 2009 Author Posted March 27, 2009 I think it is rather rude to make that statement about him being a 40-year old. A couple months ago I went on a (set-up) date with a comic book store worker who was a virgin at age 38....I wasn't at all attracted, and the fact that he announced to me that he was a virgin and had had no luck with women and obsessed over a woman who told him straight up she wasn't into him over a year ago to the point that it put him into a deep depression of not leaving the house....well, all that creeped the hell out of me and I did not accept another date but hell.....I don't go telling him my honest opinion of why I don't want to see him again. This guy obviously (as this one you went out with) has self-esteem issues, why make them worse? I don't see why this is bugging you enough to post at all. Just ignore his further contact. I have not thought about him in a while - but this recent exchange did make me think. I think I gave it as an example because after-the breakup he mentioned that I wasn't as openminded as i think. Anyway fair enough that it might have been rude - but he is the one who broke up with me but has been initiating to meet up with me since then. Given his father's death, I have tried to be more courteous in all honesty because I dont nkow what state I might be in if the same happened to me. I also have to say that I don't see him as having self-esteem issues generally - seems to think a lot of himself.
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