u91746 Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Well, you certainly have evoked some rather strong replies from people here who have some views on the whole prospect of an A with this fellow. Rather than discounting your feelings, I think you should acknowledge they are there but wait before acting on them. Typically, we engage in relationships with people to fill voids in our lives; without others, we are lonely, so we seek out friendships. What void is there in your marriage right now? It may be this is the one for you, but you need to take some time to figure that out. What I am hearing from you sounds more like lust rather than love. You mention several times this fellow is above-average handsome; is that missing at home? Do think about it before getting carried away. A decision such as this *will* have long term ramifications, and besides hurting others, you may be seriously hurt through this too. If, over time, you do decide that this fellow is *the one*, then you need to have a chat with your husband and end that relationship.
jnj express Posted March 29, 2009 Posted March 29, 2009 hey u9, tuti stated this guy has a hot chemical connection with her, he is actually rather plain looking so she stated. Hey Tuti , where are you hiding, you m ust have some comment or opinion on what has been given to you as advice, how are you now feeling about all of this
tyhbvf Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 Let your husband watch. Have sex with your co-worker but let your husband watch. Then reciprocate and let your husband have sex with a woman as you watch. Sex in a marriage doesn't only have to be between the two of you. It can (and must evolve) into sex with others as long as there is no hiding behind one another's back. That is the mature thing to do. If he threatens divorce then you must decide whether your paper marriage is worth more than your desires. From what i can see from this postings is that folks are IMPRISONED in their marriages. You BELIEVE that a marriage has to be monogamous. It does not! Be mature. Be mature about sex. TALK ABOUT SEX WITH OTHERS. Stop being a child! (Put away the shotgun, though before talking about it)
LivinginaFog Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Don't do it. I had an affair with a co-worker and am now fighting to keep my marriage and family. My husband is destroyed more than words can say. The hurt he experiences is more than I can bear to handle, but since I put him in this situation it is also mine to bear. You, as I did, have no idea of the ramifications of your actions. Tell your husband now and try to save what you can.
BladeRunner Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 You should factor in these considerations. 1. Your H will feel the affair even if he doesn't know for sure what is going on. 2. Your co-workers will know. 3. Standard operating procedures for dealing with infidelity from the betrayed spouse's point of view (based on the infidelity sites I've seen) is to expose the affair to everyone. Parents on both sides, children, your boss, other members of your family, etc. 4. You will cause your H more pain than he has ever experienced and may even surprise him with an unfamiliar emotion - hatred. 5. There is about a 60% chance that your H will leave you. There is a 100% chance that he will feel differently about you.
pelicanpreacher Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Imagine your husband nude and sweaty while entwined in the arms of a woman far more beautiful, sexy, smarter, engaging, intelligent, wealthy and confidant than you are. Imagine the look of delirious joy and mirth on his face and eyes as he is caught up in the throes of ecstasy during his many tender lovemaking sessions with her. Imagine her turning your husband against you and excrutiatingly tearing your marriage and life apart one molecule at a time with the single minded focus of eliminating you from his life just because she can. Imagine the anguish you'd feel for years to come as you try to find it in yourself to forgive his betrayal by humbling yourself for the slightest chance of reconcilliation toward a future too dark and bleak to fathom while holding on to the fleeting hope that someday he'll find love with you again. Imagine...just imagine, and you will have put yourself in your husband's shoes should you decide to do it! Welcome to the world, life, and times of the betrayed!!!
Dexter Morgan Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 I'm very close to having an affair with a coworker. He’s beautiful. I've been married for 10 years now and I'm happy in my relationship with my husband (no kids, 2 dogs)- he is very good to me. Too bad your husband doesn't know what you are thinking, or finds out when you finally do cheat on him, because its just a matter of time. another good woman deserves to be with your husband...a woman that deserves a good man that will be good to her. You don't deserve your husband or the way he treats you. He is wasting his respect and affections. Once I have sex with him I think I can finally move on and turn my attentions, thoughts, daydreams, passions, onto my husband who truly deserves it. No, you won't. You will always want to spread your legs for other men. Why don't you do your husband a favor and let him go so he can be with someone who deserves him? If he "deserves it", as you put it, then you wouldn't even be remotely thinking about cheating on him. Now do I have sex with my new soulmate Well if this other guy is your soulmate, what are you doing still married to your H. Tell ya what....tell your husband "I have found a man that is my soulmate and i want him inside me sooooooo badly". Then see what your husband says. Get back with us on that soon. What if I could have this night and my husband never know- would it, could it, be right to take part of what seems to me more of a sexual-spiritual encounter. you even have to ask that $%^$%^ stupid question?
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