acd303 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Hi, First of all i want to apologize for my bad english. Here's my story: my ex girlfriend of 2 years dumped me 2 months ago. Everytime i done something "wrong" she threathened me with this - "i gonna leave you if you will not change". So one day she did. And this was month later when she told me she cannot live without me, and the day after she said she loves me... I was a complete wreck for the first two weeks, dialed her said i cannot live without her and other silly things. She said although she loves me she doesn't see future together "we will not marry, we will not gonna have kids..." and so on. I said i don't wanna see her anymore, don't wanna be friends with her and that she destroyed my life. Few days after i realized that it is really over and dialed her, said that it is ok. Week after she calls me, wants to see me, we meet up, had a chat, nothing about our relationship. After this conversation i realized how much i still love her and that is better for me not to talk with her. Went no contact, it has been 5 weeks already. Yesterday i met her best friend at the uni, (we study together), we went for coffee had a chat about "how is it going for you?" and so on, and suddenly she tells me, that she understands me, that my ex is actually is immature and doesn't know what she wants, i agreed with her. She said "You know she has changed. Although she is my best friend i don't understand her, i think it is not good to treat people like this" i say that it is ok, i have no hard feelings for my ex (which is a lie), and she says "You know she feels kind of bad lately(karma?), and i wouldn't be surprised if she really wants to be with you.." I had to end this conversation, didn't wanna talk about it. So after it i feel kind of better, my thoughts about her immaturity and that she don't know what she wants and that she ALWAYS thinks that the grass is greener on the other side and wants to have something which she cannot have at the moment have been confirmed in my mind. Still i don't know...Do i want to be with her? Or no? i have mixed feelings. I know that i love her, but still she doesn't bothered to contact me, even though she said that we are very close and she wants to be friends... I really feel alright at the time, not good not bad, but alright, have met new people, found new interesting activities, have alot of work, which i enjoy... And after that conversation something tells me i have to contact her to know who is she doing, but why would i care that she feels bad? Or should i care?
playlislay Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I just HAD to reply to this one. Im in a similar position whereby I am the stupid immature gf that pushed the one man that she truly loved away. Hands up, I was so frickin immature and it is, strangely, today that I realised this (3 months after seperating). After breaking my exes heart, I beeged and pleaded to get back with him but he was too hurt and didnt want to go through the same sh*t again. I understood this and repeatedly said sorry. I knew what I was apologising for but I didnt know the real extent of to why I had to apologize. I guess I was caught up in my emotions. Anywho, Ive reflected deeply on my actions, every single one of them, and I am now ready to give a true and heartfelt apology.....although Im too scared to do it to his face as I still love him deeply and dont want to be rejected again by him. It can take people a LONG time to realise where they went wrong and what they could do to improve themselves. I now know that I have to be much more mature about things, open up and talk even if I dont want to, and most importantly, show my partner the same respect as I would expect from him. Im not saying you should take her back, thats down to you and its also down to if she really and truly has realised her mistakes. Not only has she had to have realised them but she has to have thought through HOW she is going to deal with things in the future. Im now all hepped up on maturity and this is my focus for the next........5 years? How ever long it takes me to improve my maturity levels. Sometimes its hard to not let your emotions effect your actions, the head and the heart are closely related. Good luck x
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