andy2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I and my g/f have 3.5 years very good relationship. We always have good plans/moments/etc, even she proposed to marry. Then 1 week ago, something wrong happened. She left me and sent an email on that evening: "She said she is really sorry for leaving me and she wants to stay alone for few days and She in dilemma that she still loves me, she needs to find this out. And she asked me not try to contact her now, as and when when she OK then she will call me back. First few days I accepted then I could not stop calling and I have called her thousand times and sent text too. She always turned her mobile off. After reading this website I learn that I should not disturb or try to call her. Now I am not trying to call her. But as you can imagine it is too difficult" I should also mentioned here that she lost job 2 weeks ago because of global recession. I tried my best to care her and made her happy. She also said she has no new boy(in the email). But I feel like she got new bf. Or something else. I can guess now. I am not sure she will call me or if call then break our relationship. We never had any conflict. Dear friends what should I do to solve my problem. Will she back or something or What should I assume or take action.
LoveUrselfFirst Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I think that she is in a weird state of depression for losing her job. I don't think it's because she met someone new. This day, today losing employment really is taking a toll on people because it's not like you can eaily find a new one, unless you choose to take a pay cut. I think that you can be her support without actually smothering her until she clears her mind. Send her a card to see how she is doing...like the little things to make her feel good. I just think that she's stuck in a rut in a moment and verses taking the frustration out on you, she rather just be alone...but for only a short period of time.
Author andy2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Author Posted March 27, 2009 Loveurselffirst! thank you for reply: Her sentence (in email) is killing me "she is not sure that she loves me now". I can't guess how her work is related with our relationship or possible that it is her excuse to be alone. I called her home and nobody knows where is she now. I am mad now....can not think...... I checked her mailbox, she even did not login to mail system since she left. If she is searching for new job then she must be checking emails. If she wants to be alone then how long she can be.
LoveUrselfFirst Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 If it's not work related...whatever it may be...she will tell you eventually because I don't think she is heartless...well hopefully not. In time she will tell you the real truth.
Lippy2 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I know it's tough, just give her some breathing room. I can understand your hurt and anger right now. THere are many things, life events that happen that can make someone question everything in there life. My situation is my ex needed to step back and that work was overwhelming etc and that he didn't know what to do anymore but that he loved me and if he wanted to be with someone, it would be me ( that's the short version). I haven't called or texted and have left him completely alone. I know how hard that is to do. Stay strong, when she's ready to talk, she'll let you know. Until then try to stay busy and I know that's easier said then done because they are always in your thoughts. You have to try or you will drive yourself insane.
messed-mind Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 I would say that she didn't make this decision out of the blue and has probably been planning this for some time. There is no smoke without fire, there will be an explanation. I know it's hard, but you will just need to wait and see what she says. You deserve an explanation, which is more than I got when I broke up with my ex of 5 years.
Author andy2009 Posted March 30, 2009 Author Posted March 30, 2009 Thank you all for suggestions. and I am maintaining NC since then by all means of communications. I hope one day she will call me and come back to me. But at the same time I feel if she come back how is guarantee that she will stay with me forever and not do this act again. End of this year we have planning for wedding. Now my emotions are like roller coaster- up and down..... I'd like to know from all folks in here: is it normal act from here and what are consequences if a gf wants space and NC for some moment from bf. I will appreciate all for suggestions because by this I can rethink in the future and alert.
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