WIN3S Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year, he and his exgirlfriend have been dating for two years and have broken up merely TWO months before him and I started dating. She and him shared the apartment that me and him live in now, and once in awhile I'd find her stuffs he wouldn't admit they're hers but I can tell. She is from the same city I am from, and we look alot alike - long hair, thin, and have both tried our hands at modeling. We also goto the SAME school! There are just SO many signs that points to the fact that he is REPLACING me with her but he denies it and gives mee about enough reasons to believe him, and he has never cheated on mee with her or ever even talked to her (I am sure of this for that I have checked his phone email etc often enough to be sure haha) but I CANNOT get her out of my head! It's like I am obsessed with her which is just the strangest thing ever because I have never met her, and he is not in contact with her! But I keep thinking about her about them together and it just BOTHERS the heck out of me to a really unbearable level. I search for her name on networking sites like Facebook and other places and when I see her picture I try to see it up close and try to read on about her info it's like I'm stalking her! Just her whole relationship with my boyfriend bothers me, even though he never proposed to her during their 2 years long relationship, and he has proposed to me, I STILL feel so insecure (although that DID help a bit). PLEASE HELP!!! I cant get her out of my head : S this has never happened to me before. Somehow, I feel the only way for me to "get over her" is to somehow, meet her in person, make friends and after a certain friendship develops confronts her about their relationship and somehow hears her side of the story and then either stop talking to her, or if I feel comfortable enough keep being friends with her. And yet this sounds a WHOLE lot of crazy to me!
voldigicam Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 It does sound kind of crazy. I would probably call up the ex, or email, and explain my obsession. But that's the kind of logical, direct approach that gets me in trouble! Possibly most people would recommend some kind of counseling for these mind viruses. I've not found counseling useful myself, most of the time. But here I'm a bit out of my depth on compulsive obsessing about a mate's former lover. Perhaps simply confessing to your SO and asking his help would be a bonding and clearing thing, rather than keeping it bottled up. Depends probably on how your SO deals with things. And how you approach it. I hope these observations are of at least some help.
era Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 confronts her about their relationship Oh yeah...that's really going to go over well :rolleyes: Your b/f has a past, and quess what? So does everyone else. Let.it.go. Stay away from her. Become more concerned about your own life.
stillafool Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 The reason he is dating you and you look like her is because you both are the same type and you both are his type. It's natural to be curious about your bf's ex but not to be obsessed. She isn't interfering in your relationship and probably has her own bf by now so why don't you just put your jealousy to rest. What may help is to tell your bf everything you have told us here and have him put your mind at ease.
Author WIN3S Posted March 31, 2009 Author Posted March 31, 2009 These had been somewhat judgemental responses that I've been receiving, I know this comes off as such a nutcase but i can guarantee you I am perfectly sane and this has NEVER happened to mee before it's freaking mee out more than anything and I am not alone. I only posted this post because there had been another post, which had over 300 replies or so on loveshack.org on the EXACT SAME CASE scenario. Except that thread was closed, but still viewable, so I could no longer reply to that post which had been what I originally wanted to do and instead posted this one. If you just google "obsessed with boyfriend's exgirlfriend" or soemthing along that line you can come across it on loveshack.org.
Author WIN3S Posted March 31, 2009 Author Posted March 31, 2009 I really have no idea I wish I knew well of course theres insecurities and also what contributed to it was in the beginning of our relationship we were extremely open to each other, still are but then it was that way with the talks about our exes. And he told mee alot of things about her how she's so great, they were so so happy and oh so many things. Back then I was as attached to him as I am now, (and this is a common problem) so I didn't mind at all I just wanted to know him, but now we're so close I start to develop insecurities towards her, and them...
Chelsealuvspurple Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 I have a horrible situation with my boyfriends ex. His ex is a family friend and is always around for every holiday and it drives me nuts. i do not want to be around her and his parents think im stuck up for it and that im controlling. i have already been on a camping trip with her and been to other events at her house even. this is driving me nuts and my boyfriend is over at her house with his family having easter dinner as i type. oh yah and i wasnt invited, how mature of them. not like id wanna go anyway. i am seriously sick to my stomach. i dont know how to just get over this but i wish i could!!! so frustrated!
Enema Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 You're right OP. What kind of guy would choose to date two thin, attractive models with long hair? SO WEIRD
single ape Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 enema always has the good answers.. let it go.. or he's going to let you go. You don't have to be a nutcase to act like one.. we all spin out occasionally.
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