LD127 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I'm dating a single father of 3. The kids are between 14 and 20. He and his ex have been divorced for 5 years and she remarried about 2 years ago. She walked out on him and the kids. I live in a different state then he does, so I go visit. Everytime I visit, she comes over to the house while he's at work, "to visit with the kids because they won't go to her house." When I know she's there because of me, since she doesn't do that unless I'm there. Recently, my BF ran into serious financial problems and lost his home. The kids are with the mother until he finds a place to live. When all this happened, I told him I wanted to come out and be there for him and help him. He danced around it for a while, then came out and said he would be staying at his ex-wife's house to be near the kids. I lost it. Probably not a good idea, since he's already feeling like crap. I don't have a problem with her being the kids' mother. I have a problem with her being the wife. She does things that a wife would do and has nothing to do with the kids. I've been biting my lip on this one and have tried to talk to him about it but it seems either I'm not communicating the issue well enough, or he just doesn't want to listen. He keeps telling me he can't fix it. A couple of things she does that I beleive is more of a wife duty rather than a mother duty: calls him to come fix things (she has a husband); comes over every day I'm there and he's at work, then prances around the house like she owns it (the last time, she went into his bedroom and put his bathrobe on because one of her kids threw water on her and she needed to dry the clothes, but when I saw her, I couldn't tell the clothes were wet); now decides that she needs to stay over night with the kids when he's out of town on business. Two of her kids are adults. I'm trying to be supportive of his situation now, but at the same time, I think there's other alternatives then staying at her house, such as staying at a friend's house. I know he wants to be with his kids, but at the same time, I think he could take the kids to a friend's house. I'm afraid if he stays there, she will continue the control she has over him and continue to throw it in my face of what a terrible individual he is. I'm trying to avoid a fight with her in front of the kids. But I don't know how much longer I can take it.
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