ilovequiznos Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Hey, i'm 16 and i have been with my girlfriend for about 6 months. We have a really good relationship and we care for each other a lot. The other day she says we need to talk. She tells me that she feels like she is smothered and that she wants some space. I do see now why she feels smothered, i really have gone overboard and took things too far. I just got really attached but im fixing that now. She says that we shouldnt see eachother or talk at all this weekend, and i agree. i want to give her space and time for her to think. she says she still loves me and i love her too. i am hoping that she will get the right idea over the weekend and want to stay with me. i have told her i realize i went overboard and got clingy and that it wont happen again. she says she will believe it when she sees it. im just gonna stay strong and show no weakness. this weekend im gonna go out and stay positive, i dont want her to think i cant be happy without her. after this weekend without talking to her i dont really know what to say to her. should i ask her how her weekend was? or whats shes thinking now? im trying not to seem clingy anymore so what would be something i can say to show her im changing. i really am i going to back off a lot and show her i care but im not sure how to back off without her thinking im not interested in her anymore. please help if you can. thanks
EllieBean Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 In my experience, people who love you actually like it if you're attached to them, and unless you've been REALLY clingy they only feel smothered if they're not that into you. The more you cling to her and seem needy and weak, the more she will probably despise you, so you really need to back right off and accept the possibility that maybe she's not as crazy about you as you are about her. Perhaps if you seemed a bit less interested in her, and other girls seemed to be interested in you, then she might get jealous and want to be with you again. If she thinks you're not so interested in her, she's more likely to chase you; as it is she's taking you for granted.
Rogue52 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I was 16 when I first started dating my ex-fiancee. We were together for 6 years before she left me (cheated). I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that she never was able to experience anything outside me. If she wants space, give her space especially at your age. It's the only way things will ever be able to work out long term.
messed-mind Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 A break is as good as a break-up in my opinion. You guys are both way too young to be serious, you're both at a time when things are about to change dramatically over the next 5 to 10 years. If someone loves you, they don't ask for a break. If someone loves you, they don't want to be away from you. If someone loves you, they don't play silly ass games like this. The exception to this may be (for example...) where people may be living together, who've been arguing a lot. They both know it's harming the relationship, so there is a mutual decision to take some time apart before things get bad. On reflection, they realise the error of their ways and they get back together for another shot. Maybe. However, in your case, she's asked for a break outright without any ultimatum which does not bode well. All you can do is wait and see what she says.
Author ilovequiznos Posted March 27, 2009 Author Posted March 27, 2009 thanks you guys for your answers. the only thing i can really do is just go through the weekend with no contact to her like we agreed. is there anything i should say to her before we dont talk for a few days?
Author ilovequiznos Posted March 27, 2009 Author Posted March 27, 2009 Okay latest news..we were talking and she said 'everything comes at a cost, and love isnt free. everyone has to work for it..and now so do you'. it sounds like slowely she is falling out of love with me. how do i work for our love?
messed-mind Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 What a load of childish rubbish. Don't be a doormat to her, tell her to take a hike.
Author ilovequiznos Posted March 27, 2009 Author Posted March 27, 2009 But i think she's right though. I mean we're out of the stage where all we want is to be with each other. And once that stage fades away love will too. So isnt it both of our responsibilities to keep working to keep the love? I'm not a doormat is she is right, i got really clingy and asskissing towards her and i pushed her away. I dont want to get rid of her cause she really means something to me
EllieBean Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Nonsense. You shouldn't have to work for love, it should be freely given. She's clearly very childish and hasn't got a clue - ditch her and teach her a lesson, and find someone who deserves you.
messed-mind Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Nonsense. You shouldn't have to work for love, it should be freely given. She's clearly very childish and hasn't got a clue - ditch her and teach her a lesson, and find someone who deserves you. Yes, I agree.
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