Author Derek12b Posted July 7, 2009 Author Posted July 7, 2009 I see you! Thats a lotta snow. Lisa, if I was close I'd see if you wanted to go havea pint. lol Good for you Tojaz!!!! Im gonna get out there too. I don't want a relationship but man...to watch a woman smile is very intoxicationg. I like it.
LisaUk Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 I see you! Thats a lotta snow. Lisa, if I was close I'd see if you wanted to go havea pint. lol Good for you Tojaz!!!! Im gonna get out there too. I don't want a relationship but man...to watch a woman smile is very intoxicationg. I like it. Yeah was a lot of snow, the picture is the only one I have since my weight loss (lost another 10lbs since then due to the break up diet), it was taken by my ex two days before he dropped the bomb! We had a huge amount of snow in London and we had been out having snowball fights and laughing and messing about, God it was a shock! I really need to get someone to take another picture, you can't really see me for all the clothes and hat!
tojaz Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 You look like a lovely woman Lisa, your ex is out of his bloody mind. I wish i had a picture up you could look at. I sent you a wink though. It is nice to put a face to the name.
tojaz Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 I see you! Thats a lotta snow. Lisa, if I was close I'd see if you wanted to go havea pint. lol Good for you Tojaz!!!! Im gonna get out there too. I don't want a relationship but man...to watch a woman smile is very intoxicationg. I like it. Couldn't agree more. Like I said, I didn't really have any say in the matter, but who cares, it's all in fun. I must admit I've caught myself flirting with a few ladies around town, I'm glad I remember how it goes
LisaUk Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 You look like a lovely woman Lisa, your ex is out of his bloody mind. I wish i had a picture up you could look at. I sent you a wink though. It is nice to put a face to the name. Thanks for that Tojaz, put your picture up, so we can see you! Your friend will give you the password then so you can hide your profile after if you want. Mine is now hidden again! Right it's midnight here so am off to bed! Nighty night! Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite! (Is that a Brit saying, if so, you probaly all think I've gone mad!)
tojaz Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 No, we have that here too, sleep well, I'll try and dig up a picture.
seibert253 Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Couldn't agree more. Like I said, I didn't really have any say in the matter, but who cares, it's all in fun. I must admit I've caught myself flirting with a few ladies around town, I'm glad I remember how it goes Yeah Tojaz, it's like riding a bike. You may be a little rusty, but it comes back quick.
Author Derek12b Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 I was having a good time today when an ex girlfriend called me and told me I should call my wife. She said I should ask her what she wants and tell her I know about the neightbor (Matt). So, I did and it was bad. This is why I'm up at 4:00A.M. on a Wednesday night. Come to find out my wife did go on vacation with the neighbor and she is now staying at his house on the weekends. She told me, like usual, that she wanted to work on things. I said I didn't believe her and if she was wanting to work on things she had to call him and tell him she wanted nothing to do with him and she was going to work on her marriage. She was going to call at 9:30 tonight and she never did. I had no clue they had been this close for this long. She was grilling me tonight about where I was going tomorrow and was asking me who I was doing it with. The thing is, she's looking for me to mess up and this way she can justify her actions. I was honest and said I was going with my grandma, her friend, and my roommate to the river boat casino. I have no reason to lie and there is nothing to salvage in this marriage. I need to get a background check on this guy and see if my kids are in any danger. My wife has never been alone. When we met she was engaged and we were spending time together. After a year she broke off her engagement and came running to me. We dated for a year and then one day she ran off with a co-worker and they dated for a year. When I returned back from L.A., a year later, she was still living with him and she started staying at me house and got pregnant. Now, she was married to me, had two kids, owned a home, and started having an affair with our neighbor. My wife has never been alone for one day. She has always needed someone. It wouldn't have mattered where we lived or who our meighbor was. She was going to cheat no matter how it went. The funny part is who she chose. She went for the bottom of the barrel and now shes stuck and scared. She wants her cake and eat it too. I feel bad for my little girls and everyone she has hurt in this crazy life she's made for herself.
tojaz Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 She told me, like usual, that she wanted to work on things. I said I didn't believe her and if she was wanting to work on things she had to call him and tell him she wanted nothing to do with him and she was going to work on her marriage. She was going to call at 9:30 tonight and she never did. I have no reason to lie and there is nothing to salvage in this marriage. I need to get a background check on this guy and see if my kids are in any danger. Dosen't sound like you are so sure anymore. I would check this guy out either way though. Anyone doing childish things like putting a wasps nest in your mailbox needs a second look. TOJAZ
ON MY OWN Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I am sorry. I have been following your story. I saw the games she played and was familiar with games because I have had my heart broken as well. I dont know how a human being can do the things our ex's did, but it is apparent that plenty of people out there do things like this and its a crying shame for the nice people who just want a decent low/no drama relationship. I am sorry for you and pray for your healing to begin from all the hurt she has caused you as well as your children. Children suffer much more then some people will care to ever admit and are smarter then many people even realize. Definitely run a check on the neighbor guy. Good luck on your healing.
LisaUk Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I was having a good time today when an ex girlfriend called me and told me I should call my wife. She said I should ask her what she wants and tell her I know about the neightbor (Matt). So, I did and it was bad. This is why I'm up at 4:00A.M. on a Wednesday night. Come to find out my wife did go on vacation with the neighbor and she is now staying at his house on the weekends. She told me, like usual, that she wanted to work on things. I said I didn't believe her and if she was wanting to work on things she had to call him and tell him she wanted nothing to do with him and she was going to work on her marriage. She was going to call at 9:30 tonight and she never did. I had no clue they had been this close for this long. She was grilling me tonight about where I was going tomorrow and was asking me who I was doing it with. The thing is, she's looking for me to mess up and this way she can justify her actions. I was honest and said I was going with my grandma, her friend, and my roommate to the river boat casino. I have no reason to lie and there is nothing to salvage in this marriage. I need to get a background check on this guy and see if my kids are in any danger. My wife has never been alone. When we met she was engaged and we were spending time together. After a year she broke off her engagement and came running to me. We dated for a year and then one day she ran off with a co-worker and they dated for a year. When I returned back from L.A., a year later, she was still living with him and she started staying at me house and got pregnant. Now, she was married to me, had two kids, owned a home, and started having an affair with our neighbor. My wife has never been alone for one day. She has always needed someone. It wouldn't have mattered where we lived or who our meighbor was. She was going to cheat no matter how it went. The funny part is who she chose. She went for the bottom of the barrel and now shes stuck and scared. She wants her cake and eat it too. I feel bad for my little girls and everyone she has hurt in this crazy life she's made for herself. It seems to me your wife has a strong history of infedility. I am sorry fro you Derek, you did not deserve to be treated this way. You desereve someone who respects you and loves you the way they should.
hopesndreams Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 She said I should ask her what she wants and tell her I know about the neightbor (Matt). So, I did and it was bad. Glad to hear you confronted her with this bit of information. Funny how nothing changed with her though, she will still try to keep herself in your good books. She sees nothing wrong with what she did, she just didn't understand that what she did was extremely abusive, and sadly, she may never see. No doubt she will cheat on this new fella, it's a certainty really and you must be strong enough to turn her away when she wants you back. Nothing can be salvaged here is the only way to think, so you do have your head screwed on right and can see her for what she truly is. Time to get her and her nonsense as far away from you as you possibly can. Do not converse with her anymore unless it has something to do with the kids. Don't concern yourself with what she is doing, who she is with, etc, etc. She will still play with you if you allow her to. Gotta watch out for those red flags eh? Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Author Derek12b Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 I have a meeting today with another lawyer at 3:00. Does anyone have any advice so I don't have to pay child support and have my kids half the time?
hopesndreams Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I don't have any legal advice for you but.....some WW are so caught up in their selfishness that they will only want to have the kids every other weekend and you will end up with full custody, then there would be no child support for you to pay. Do you think you could go for full custody? Does Matt have any kids? You work from home, you own your business, she walked away from the family home, these things can all work in your favor.
seibert253 Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I was having a good time today when an ex girlfriend called me and told me I should call my wife. She said I should ask her what she wants and tell her I know about the neightbor (Matt). So, I did and it was bad. This is why I'm up at 4:00A.M. on a Wednesday night. Come to find out my wife did go on vacation with the neighbor and she is now staying at his house on the weekends. She told me, like usual, that she wanted to work on things. I said I didn't believe her and if she was wanting to work on things she had to call him and tell him she wanted nothing to do with him and she was going to work on her marriage. She was going to call at 9:30 tonight and she never did. I had no clue they had been this close for this long. She was grilling me tonight about where I was going tomorrow and was asking me who I was doing it with. The thing is, she's looking for me to mess up and this way she can justify her actions. I was honest and said I was going with my grandma, her friend, and my roommate to the river boat casino. I have no reason to lie and there is nothing to salvage in this marriage. I need to get a background check on this guy and see if my kids are in any danger. My wife has never been alone. When we met she was engaged and we were spending time together. After a year she broke off her engagement and came running to me. We dated for a year and then one day she ran off with a co-worker and they dated for a year. When I returned back from L.A., a year later, she was still living with him and she started staying at me house and got pregnant. Now, she was married to me, had two kids, owned a home, and started having an affair with our neighbor. My wife has never been alone for one day. She has always needed someone. It wouldn't have mattered where we lived or who our meighbor was. She was going to cheat no matter how it went. The funny part is who she chose. She went for the bottom of the barrel and now shes stuck and scared. She wants her cake and eat it too. I feel bad for my little girls and everyone she has hurt in this crazy life she's made for herself. Derek, why are you even talking to her? She's disrespected you, stringing you along while at the same time rubbing this in your face, and has the gall to question you? Dude, you need to be done with this. You do not deserve this turmoil. Hate to be so blunt, but your wife is nuts. You need to go stone cold nuclear on her azz. NC accept the kids, file and have her served.
SRV Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I was honest and said I was going with my grandma, her friend, and my roommate to the river boat casino. I have no reason to lie and there is nothing to salvage in this marriage. Why are you even talking to her? My wife has never been alone. When we met she was engaged and we were spending time together. After a year she broke off her engagement and came running to me. This right here was the biggest red flag, learn from it. QUOTE] You need to cut your loses, concentrate on your kids and custody of them, forget her, totally, who she is with or what she is doing, because at the end of the day there is no way you can control her or her actions.
broken hearted Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Derek, read my new thread entitled, "what a difference a week makes" you'll be shocked! I looked at your profile on match.com and you look very similar to my husband...very attractive...haha! Your wife is a fool for leaving you! Anyway, I was wondering how things were going for you. How are you girls? 8 more weeks until I have this baby and I am alone! My life really does suck right now but I'm praying for things to get better soon and for my heart to heal, the pain to subside, and for me to move forward.
Author Derek12b Posted July 16, 2009 Author Posted July 16, 2009 Hello Broken Hearted. 8 more weeks huh? Babies are great and I wish I had two more. Thanks for the compliment, it makes me feel good and thats something I need right now. I'm doing as good as you can expect for my situation. I have my kids all week but I have to pass them off this Friday. We wake up every morning and I make eggs, bacon, toast, and we have a glass of O.J. before I send them off to daycare. I also make them brush their teeth every morning before they go because while they're staying at their grandmas this doesn't happen. I'm trying to develope this routine so when we get the divorce the judge will grant 50/50 and I don't have to just have the minimum visitation and pay out the ass for my wife hooking up with the neighbor. So much has changed in the last week. I'm finding things I LIKE to do again. I don't even listen to the same music. Its strange how this is working and I'm not even making a conscious effort....its just happening. I don't listen to any love songs or anything my wife would listen to. I shaved off all my facial hair and bought a new truck which my kids love. I've been spending a lot of time on making my business take off and I have two new clients I need to fill paper work out for tomorrow. My one client, that wasnt paying on time, now has my company on a weekly pay schedule and their catching up. Also, while we're separate I'm going to seel everything in this house. I'm selling my motorcycle so the OM won't be riding it and I'm selling the bed because....well, you can just guess. My wife called on Sunday and that was the last time I've talked to her. She was crying and kept saying "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I just said " I know." She's in a very tough spot right now and I'm sure she knows it. She was driven by her insecurities and a combination of other things that makes her world turn but that still doesn't change the fact. None of this is my fault! I did not do this! I did not feel the same way she did! I loved my wife and my family with all my heart and now its broken. She broke it! Broken hearted, you are not alone and you can talk to me anytime you feel down. I welcome the conversations. Good luck on the baby. Have you picked out a name??? I'm kinda partial to Derek. If its a girl....anything but Melissa, lol.
LisaUk Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 Hey Derek, good to hear from you, I've been wondering how you are? I winked at you on match by the way, just to say hi! I think you are wise to have shaved your beard, personally I don't like facial hair, but that's just me! LOL You sound like you are doing great, looking after your girls and getting life back into nick. Keep posting.
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 Hey Derek she's not sorry... If she was she would be doing everything in her power making it right, but she isnt, this is her pattern in life, to jump from man to man, without any forethought. It sounds good that your business is taking off, keep it moving!
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