Chrome Barracuda Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Look Megan Fox in a nice women's business suit in heels , glasses and her hair rolled up in a bun is STILL MEGAN fOX!!!! get what im saying, if your hot you can wear something stuffy and dudes is still gonna find you hot reguardless. If you want male friends then you have to give off the vibe your open for friendship. dont rush things.
Author MeaganRaye Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 Initially, it absolutely is. Keeping him is another story. Guys arent going to even talk to you if they dont think youre at least cute. And if youre young, sad to say, a lot of guys make decisions on who is more likely to get in bed with them. If you look like a good hearted, down to earth, and conservative kind of girl, you'll find you guys tend to flock the girls who have shirts with their boobs hanging out, short skirts, and are known to put out easier. Its just a fact of life, but you dont need them if thats their criteria. I dress like most girls my age, don't have my boobs hanging out or anything, but neither do a lot of girls. Now, it may be something about me that exudes I don't put out, I had a guy say he can tell I don't sleep around. So what can I do to be more appealing and that I am friendly and approachable??
Jaytb Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I am in my early 20s and in college. I don't make guy friends really. I see all the other girls getting very well acquainted with guys all the time. I don't know if I intimidate guys or what. I am tall, 5'8, and fairly slim, and I dress nice and have good hygiene. I've been told I am very pretty. I don't know what the problem is. I see lesser attractive girls who have it easier IMO. I do know that I tend to attract older men, they seem to be a bit more confident than the ones in my age group but I am not attracted to older guys really. That would be a big part of the problem right there. Guys won't notice you if you're not talking to them or interacting with them in any way.
BCCA Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I am in my early 20s and in college My ENTIRE mentallity in college is vastly different than it is today. When I went out to the bars, I was looking for sex. I was looking for girls who gave off the vibe that they were in for a roll in the hay, even if it meant passing up on potential relationships. Its also important to keep context in mind. At parties/bars, sex is usually the only thing on a guys mind. Finding a guy there thats looking to take you out for dinner usually doesnt happen. My point is, youre at an age where long term dating is not really a priority for most people. The attention your friends are probably getting is not based on their brain power, and really, even their looks. They look 'fun' as in, they are ok with having a good time and not expecting to be wined and dined. The person I was between 18-22 is LONG gone, trust me, but its a stage we all go through. 1
Author MeaganRaye Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 My ENTIRE mentallity in college is vastly different than it is today. When I went out to the bars, I was looking for sex. I was looking for girls who gave off the vibe that they were in for a roll in the hay, even if it meant passing up on potential relationships. Its also important to keep context in mind. At parties/bars, sex is usually the only thing on a guys mind. Finding a guy there thats looking to take you out for dinner usually doesnt happen. My point is, youre at an age where long term dating is not really a priority for most people. The attention your friends are probably getting is not based on their brain power, and really, even their looks. They look 'fun' as in, they are ok with having a good time and not expecting to be wined and dined. The person I was between 18-22 is LONG gone, trust me, but its a stage we all go through. Well, just because I may look a certain way doesn't mean I dont want to have fun. What can I do to appear more fun??? I am missing out on so much. I have very little experence with sex and everything and I want to explore that too but I am having such a hard time because I appear too conservative maybe???
Chicago_Guy Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I dress like most girls my age, don't have my boobs hanging out or anything, but neither do a lot of girls. Now, it may be something about me that exudes I don't put out, I had a guy say he can tell I don't sleep around. So what can I do to be more appealing and that I am friendly and approachable?? You're probably dressing just fine. I disagree with that other poster - even when I was in college I have always preferred the classy look to the slutty look, but maybe that's me. If you want a relationship, then it isn't it a good thing that guys don't think you sleep around? Are you shy and guys don't realize that you like them? That could be a problem. Also, sometimes guys assume that a taller women only wants a really tall man, so that could also be make any shyness even more of an issue - if you're shy and tall, even if you're attractive, a lot of guys will assume you don't want them. Keep your chin up and don't worry about this too much, as it will probably get easier as you get older. I think that tall women are very attractive myself.
moman Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Well, just because I may look a certain way doesn't mean I dont want to have fun. What can I do to appear more fun??? I am missing out on so much. I have very little experence with sex and everything and I want to explore that too but I am having such a hard time because I appear too conservative maybe??? To be honest, you should damn attractive. I'm one of those guys who likes good girls who don't have much experience, so I think you are just trying too hard to be like the other girls. Come study in Florida Work on your attitude. Don't have the 'victim' mentality, that "everyone else is chosen first". Once you begin to see your own worth, guys will too.
Author MeaganRaye Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 You're probably dressing just fine. I disagree with that other poster - even when I was in college I have always preferred the classy look to the slutty look, but maybe that's me. If you want a relationship, then it isn't it a good thing that guys don't think you sleep around? Are you shy and guys don't realize that you like them? That could be a problem. Also, sometimes guys assume that a taller women only wants a really tall man, so that could also be make any shyness even more of an issue - if you're shy and tall, even if you're attractive, a lot of guys will assume you don't want them. Keep your chin up and don't worry about this too much, as it will probably get easier as you get older. I think that tall women are very attractive myself. I'm not super tall like a giant, I'm around 5'7, 5'8 but I do wear heels:) so maybe it makes me look too tall? I don't think that's it though. I have a pretty good height I don't think its intimidating Things are not getting better, it's getting worse actually. I am not dating, I am not meet anybody nor am i socializing with the opposite sex. This is not good this is the time where I should be getting skilled and getting acquainted with the opposite sex. If I don't use this time to learn it will only get worse as I get older I don't know what it is about me I suspect that its because I don't appear loose as some of the other young girls. Well, I want attention to and I want to have fun. It's not fun when you're seen as conservative and serious all the time. I just really need help
Author MeaganRaye Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 To be honest, you should damn attractive. I'm one of those guys who likes good girls who don't have much experience, so I think you are just trying too hard to be like the other girls. Come study in Florida Work on your attitude. Don't have the 'victim' mentality, that "everyone else is chosen first". Once you begin to see your own worth, guys will too. thank you:) but I don't think its a good thing to be inexperienced with sex at my age. I'm young but old enough to be having lots of it. I'm curious about it and wish I had someone to experiment with but since my social skills are lacking I am having a hard time finding out
BCCA Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Well, just because I may look a certain way doesn't mean I dont want to have fun. What can I do to appear more fun??? I am missing out on so much. I have very little experence with sex and everything and I want to explore that too but I am having such a hard time because I appear too conservative maybe??? Well, if you see a cute guy, go up to him and say hi, ask him to dance, make a joke, etc... Some people take 'quiet' to mean uninteresting, or odd. Especially in college, where plenty of girls have no problem striking up a conversation. And try and keep a smile on your face. Its much easier to approach people who look happy. And just keep putting yourself out there. Above all, have fun YOURSELF, and then worry about other people being involved. Nothing wrong with having some fun with your friends on a Friday night, and if you meet a guy - bonus!
Author MeaganRaye Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 Well, if you see a cute guy, go up to him and say hi, ask him to dance, make a joke, etc... Some people take 'quiet' to mean uninteresting, or odd. Especially in college, where plenty of girls have no problem striking up a conversation. And try and keep a smile on your face. Its much easier to approach people who look happy. And just keep putting yourself out there. Above all, have fun YOURSELF, and then worry about other people being involved. Nothing wrong with having some fun with your friends on a Friday night, and if you meet a guy - bonus! Why are quiet people seen as odd?
BCCA Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Why are quiet people seen as odd? Which guy would you find more attractive (imagine attractiveness is equal): 1. Guy who is laughing and having a good time with his friends, talking to everyone, seems to be popular amongst his peers, and looks easy to talk to. 2. Guy who sits and stares at his drink, only says anything to his friend, and doesnt seem to interact with people he doesnt know. 1
Author MeaganRaye Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 Which guy would you find more attractive (imagine attractiveness is equal): 1. Guy who is laughing and having a good time with his friends, talking to everyone, seems to be popular amongst his peers, and looks easy to talk to. 2. Guy who sits and stares at his drink, only says anything to his friend, and doesnt seem to interact with people he doesnt know. It depends on what the popular guy has to say. Because not every popular person has qualities that I find attractive in a mate. Some can be very shallow IMO and I do find that a turn off. Sometimes with the 'popular people' is that they talk about shallow things that I really don't care about. Every now and then they may have a conversation that intrigues me but I never say anything because they really won't listen. I'm very softspoken and people tend to talk over me I like Malcolm X type men, the very intellectual, somewhat political, and down to earth kind. I don't think a popular guy would fit that ideal for me even though they may be a bit more fun 1
Chicago_Guy Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I'm not super tall like a giant, I'm around 5'7, 5'8 but I do wear heels:) so maybe it makes me look too tall? I don't think that's it though. I have a pretty good height I don't think its intimidating Things are not getting better, it's getting worse actually. I am not dating, I am not meet anybody nor am i socializing with the opposite sex. This is not good this is the time where I should be getting skilled and getting acquainted with the opposite sex. If I don't use this time to learn it will only get worse as I get older I don't know what it is about me I suspect that its because I don't appear loose as some of the other young girls. Well, I want attention to and I want to have fun. It's not fun when you're seen as conservative and serious all the time. I just really need help I really don't think that is it. A lot of guys don't want a loose woman. Trust me on this, if you are looking for a relationship, most guys aren't going to want a relationship with a woman they think is a slut. I suspect you come across as unhappy or unfriendly. You need to feel good about yourself first.
Loxx Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 In my experience, if was between me and another girl, the guy ALWAYS chose the "other girl" to officially date. I've never been the girl that got picked or the one who the guy REALLY liked and wanted a relaitonship with. I want to be that charming, dynamic and charismatic girl that draws in a lot of guys the ones who always has a guy who wants to date or marry them. I have been so depressed about this. I think some people are just destined to be alone. Some of us just don't have enough qualities to be sufficient dating material. I have always been attracted to your type of girl, as long as she was happy and not all depressed. I find that these women are more trustworthy and down to earth.
soserious1 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Soserious - you can't be serious! Do you really think attracting a man is all about physical attributes? I mean, I agree with clv (for once !) and gd26 - as long as she's reasonably cute, makes an effort to be presentable and be good company, she shouldn't be having any problems getting some men interested. Like bean1 said, maybe she isn't noticing the man who are interested in her (because she is bent on catching one perticular men's interest). Sometimes women with low self-confidence decide to hang out with other women who they think are really good looking, dynamic man catchers, they do this in the mistaken belief that men will be drawn to their flashier friends but that they will then have a shot at a larger number of men.. this seldom works. And while men don't expect fashion models.. people who keep their weight in proportion to their height and make an effort to stay toned via exercise are going to stand a better shot in the initial, attraction stage of dati8ng.
moman Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 thank you:) but I don't think its a good thing to be inexperienced with sex at my age. I'm young but old enough to be having lots of it. I'm curious about it and wish I had someone to experiment with but since my social skills are lacking I am having a hard time finding out DON'T DO THAT!!! You will just devalue yourself. If you meet a guy and hit it off and feel true love for him, then you can experiment. Please please please listen to me. Do not become one of the girls who starts messing around to get experienced, then becomes used and abused by many men, and then when you do find the love of your life you will be jaded and regretful. Trust me, every guy on this board respects girls most who respect themselves. Even if some of us like to get laid from time to time, we all enjoy it more with good girls, and not sluts. 1
EllieBean Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 If you feel that what you're doing now isn't pulling in the guys, then change! You sound reasonably slim and attractive, so perhaps personality and attitude is the problem? If you want charisma, then get it! Not as hard as it sounds, because if you think about it all that differentiates you from a charismatic girl is learned behavior patterns, and you can change those. I used to be a shy nerd until I started watching what the popular girls were doing and copying them. First of all, stop trying so hard. Be generally flirtatious and smile at all the guys without focusing on one in particular, chat to everyone even if it's an effort for you. I find it an effort to talk to people because I'm naturally shy, and I have to push myself to ask people if I can join them for a drink, or tell a guy I like his shirt, or ask him where he's from or what he's interested in. Guys love girls who seem popular and confident, so walk tall and act like you're an attractive desirable woman - if you don't believe it nobody else will! Someone (or more than one) will be falling in love with you simply because you're sparkling and having fun, and you won't even know it. I admit I'm an irrepressible flirt, because I love the attention, even if I'm not interested in the guys I'm flirting with. Don't hang around waiting for guys to pick you - if you see someone you like then talk to him and make it obvious that you're interested! In summary: your learned behavior patterns can be changed, just watch how the charming and popular girls act and try to copy them (without being slutty if that's what they're doing). Flirt with everyone, sleep with no-one (unless you want a bad reputation) - at least until you bag a decent guy.
D-Lish Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I suspect it has something to do with the vibe you are giving off. When you don't feel good about yourself, it's something people can sense and will generally avoid. If you are attracted to a certain type of guy- start looking at joining clubs or groups where those kind of guys would congregate.
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