MeaganRaye Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 In my experience, if was between me and another girl, the guy ALWAYS chose the "other girl" to officially date. I've never been the girl that got picked or the one who the guy REALLY liked and wanted a relaitonship with. I want to be that charming, dynamic and charismatic girl that draws in a lot of guys the ones who always has a guy who wants to date or marry them. I have been so depressed about this. I think some people are just destined to be alone. Some of us just don't have enough qualities to be sufficient dating material.
clv0116 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 In my experience, if was between me and another girl, the guy ALWAYS chose the "other girl" to officially date. What is 'officially date' anyway? Is there a registry kept someplace?
Author MeaganRaye Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 Officially date I meant make them their girlfriend or go out with more often
clv0116 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Officially date I meant make them their girlfriend or go out with more often OK, well it sounded like you wanted a lot of commitment up front, which for a lot of guys is a red flag. If you're reasonably cute and not too crazy acting you shouldn't have too much trouble. When was the last time you turned a guy down for a date?
Author MeaganRaye Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 OK, well it sounded like you wanted a lot of commitment up front, which for a lot of guys is a red flag. If you're reasonably cute and not too crazy acting you shouldn't have too much trouble. When was the last time you turned a guy down for a date? I haven't been asked by anyone. There is a guy who I thought liked me but he really doesn't. He has his eye on another girl:mad:
clv0116 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I'm guessing you're pretty young, probably still in school, maybe on spring break?
bean1 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Meagan, I was the same as you (I get the impression you are fairly young), it turns out that looking back, plenty of guys were interested but because I didn't show any interest in return, they didn't ask me out. What kind of guys are you interested in? What kind of guys are you not interested in?
Trimmer Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 How old are you and how long have you been at this guys/dating thing?
gd26 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Think about it this way.... if you were a man, would you pick a girl like yourself? -Are you physically fit? -Do you groom yourself well, have good hygiene, dress nicely? -Are you a nice and enjoyable person to be around? -Are you able to have intelligent conversation? If you don't offer these things, then you can't blame men for not being interested. Would you yourself want a man who doesn't possess the above traits? You have to make yourself a good catch, otherwise you can't be upset at people for not being interested.
Treasa Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 You could just find a man you're interested in, and if he's single, ask him out. I've never really had this issue that you're having. Then again, I tend to go for quirky guys.
soserious1 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 How much you weigh and how tall are you? Do you tend to run with packs of women friends who are better looking than you are ?
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 In my experience, if was between me and another girl, the guy ALWAYS chose the "other girl" to officially date. I've never been the girl that got picked or the one who the guy REALLY liked and wanted a relaitonship with. I want to be that charming, dynamic and charismatic girl that draws in a lot of guys the ones who always has a guy who wants to date or marry them. I have been so depressed about this. I think some people are just destined to be alone. Some of us just don't have enough qualities to be sufficient dating material. You put yourself out there like you want to be out there. if your willing to be the OW and be in the middle of relationships than you will always be the OW and no man wants to have an unfaithful girlfriend. Men know OW cannot be truly trusted. If you want to be dating material than women up and mature. Find a truly single man and connect with him on a multitude of levels not just sexual. Dont let a man use you for sexual escapades until you are ready, and until he is feeling you. Women become the OW because all they want is scraps from a man who has commitment elsewhere, it's pathetic because their are alot of good single men out here, you just need to stop being picky. Women ultimately choose the men who they are with, not the other way around.
Kamille Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I want to be that charming, dynamic and charismatic girl that draws in a lot of guys the ones who always has a guy who wants to date or marry them. That is quite the program! the bad news is that making this your program is likely also part of what is hindering it from happening. You're setting the bar pretty high, and, as you say yourself, it's even causing you to feel depressed, and I'm going to guess, insecure. Do you really need troves of men to make you happy? I'll help you answer that: No. What you need is to focus on yourself, find other reasons to smile about and not vy so much for men's attention. The second you stop measuring your self-worth by wether or not men pay attention to you, I promise they will start knocking at your door. Bottom line is: relax and be yourself
Isolde Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Contrary to popular belief, being a single woman for more than a year is not an indication that you're an ogre. Also, while guys like charismatic, charming, outgoing women, plenty of women with that type of personality have trouble dating, and plenty of "boring" women get tons of dates. There just isn't a science to it. A couple thoughts: -What do you really want? A committed relationship? If that's what you want it takes some degree of compatibility, and that can be pretty hard to find. -How picky are you? Do you reject a lot of guys? -Where do you live? In big cities, dating is just REALLY flakey sometimes. -Do you try to let guys know you're interested, explicitly or otherwise? Honestly, what works for one person won't work for another necessarily. Most likely there is nothing wrong with you. Dating is hard.
Kamille Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 How much you weigh and how tall are you? Do you tend to run with packs of women friends who are better looking than you are ? Soserious - you can't be serious! Do you really think attracting a man is all about physical attributes? I mean, I agree with clv (for once !) and gd26 - as long as she's reasonably cute, makes an effort to be presentable and be good company, she shouldn't be having any problems getting some men interested. Like bean1 said, maybe she isn't noticing the man who are interested in her (because she is bent on catching one perticular men's interest).
loveslife Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I think you have "charming" and "dynamic" and "charismatic" in you but perhaps you're trying to define yourself in a way that's not naturally who you are. For me, I had a hard time when I was younger because I was so self-critical and had people around me always trying to "fix" me. And really if it hadn't been for the messages from family and "friends" and the media I might have gone ahead thinking I was just fine the way I was. It was when I decided to try and be the best ME I could be that things turned around. What creates the three qualities you're looking to emulate, in my opinion, is your inner light shining through. It's being yourself not some illusion or version of another person. I find that the times I meet guys I end up dating most often is when I'm feeling not particularly well put-together. And I came to see it's probably because I don't have those walls up then. Don't have the masks on. Be yourself and be open and I am sure there will be guys drawn to you. But yeah sometimes we all go through "dry patches."
BCCA Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Do you really think attracting a man is all about physical attributes? Initially, it absolutely is. Keeping him is another story. Guys arent going to even talk to you if they dont think youre at least cute. And if youre young, sad to say, a lot of guys make decisions on who is more likely to get in bed with them. If you look like a good hearted, down to earth, and conservative kind of girl, you'll find you guys tend to flock the girls who have shirts with their boobs hanging out, short skirts, and are known to put out easier. Its just a fact of life, but you dont need them if thats their criteria. Honestly, we all wear dissapointment and frustration on our faces. You may not even realize it, but you give off 'please pick me!' vibes. Its kind of like when I'm really down, and I try to talk to women, they wont even want to look at me, because I SMELL of failure and desperation. Try and not worry so much (I know, easy to say) about whether youre picked or not. Dont focus on one guy, spread some seeds about so you have a few men youre keeping an eye on. And realize... sometimes we all go through "dry patches." Before my last ex, I was single for the better part of 3 years. Im a good guy, good looking, and have a lot going for me, but that doesnt equal out to a relationship whenever you want it. Keep your head up, we've all been in your shoes. Im there now, I havent gotten so much as a date since my split 7 months ago. Ive gotten numbers, met some girls, and had a lot of fun, but cant even find someone to go on one measely date. Thats just life though. 1
Kamille Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Initially, it absolutely is. Keeping him is another story. Guys arent going to even talk to you if they dont think youre at least cute. And if youre young, sad to say, a lot of guys make decisions on who is more likely to get in bed with them. If you look like a good hearted, down to earth, and conservative kind of girl, you'll find you guys tend to flock the girls who have shirts with their boobs hanging out, short skirts, and are known to put out easier. Its just a fact of life, but you dont need them if thats their criteria. At one point I realized that while girls who were loud and had their boobs hanging out seemed to attract the most attention from men, few managed to become the "femme fatale" that the OP wants to be. Instead, the women who caught men's attention, kept it and had them fall over themselves to be with them were the girls who were well-put together, a bit reserved and exulted some kind of intrigue. Amongst my friends, they were also always amongst the most balanced ones - women who rarely needed outside validation to feel confident and good about themselves.
kashmir Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Instead, the women who caught men's attention, kept it and had them fall over themselves to be with them were the girls who were well-put together, a bit reserved and exulted some kind of intrigue. Amongst my friends, they were also always amongst the most balanced ones - women who rarely needed outside validation to feel confident and good about themselves. I'd certainly go for the reserved and sweet-looking girl over the outgoing girl dressed slutty.
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I'd certainly go for the reserved and sweet-looking girl over the outgoing girl dressed slutty. lol!!!! Some girls can be be classy and still sexy, they dont need to be slutty to get their point across. lmao.
bean1 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 OP, put on a nice dress that covers your boobs, spray a little perfume and do your hair in a nice classic ponytail. Wear low but cute heels. Go to a coffee/bookhouse and give the nerd on the laptop a chance. You might find a different response from whatever it is you were trying to attract in the first place. 1
Trialbyfire Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Here's a classic example about how attitude as expressed in how a person dresses, stands, moves, wears make-up, uses an airbrush and eye contact, makes a major difference. No doubt Megan Fox is drop-dead gorgeous but you can clearly see the difference in these two pics: http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1400/727380905_073c5853ba.jpg?v=0 http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1177/728244818_4d86dcdf96.jpg?v=0 ATTITUDE!
Jaytb Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Here's a classic example about how attitude as expressed in how a person dresses, stands, moves, wears make-up, uses an airbrush and eye contact, makes a major difference. No doubt Megan Fox is drop-dead gorgeous but you can clearly see the difference in these two pics: http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1400/727380905_073c5853ba.jpg?v=0 http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1177/728244818_4d86dcdf96.jpg?v=0 ATTITUDE! Hmmmm, I like her both ways
Author MeaganRaye Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 I am in my early 20s and in college. I don't make guy friends really. I see all the other girls getting very well acquainted with guys all the time. I don't know if I intimidate guys or what. I am tall, 5'8, and fairly slim, and I dress nice and have good hygiene. I've been told I am very pretty. I don't know what the problem is. I see lesser attractive girls who have it easier IMO. I do know that I tend to attract older men, they seem to be a bit more confident than the ones in my age group but I am not attracted to older guys really.
Trialbyfire Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Hmmmm, I like her both ways I think she looks good either way but there's a major difference between attitudes expressed. Don't be dense. You know what I mean.
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