ThumbingMyWay Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Yep...raises hand...I smoke pot and I am a parent. Not looking for any reasons or comments on that I should stop...cuase I dont want to...I enjoy it. I dont abuse it, never have. Not that I need to justsify...but I work hard, am dependable....go to church, have deep faith in Jesus, volunteer, put my kids before myself....was an honer student....alwasy kept a job and do quite well IMO. But I still like to burn.....I guess I am a typical white collar pot head I guess.... anyway....I was watching this movie the other day...a Seth Rogan movie....he just found out he got some girl preggo and was talking to his dad about drugs and kids. And said, how can I tell my kids not to do drugs, when I do drugs. His dad said, thats simple...tell them what I told you. "No pills, No powder....if it comes from the earth, then it must be ok" got me thinking....how do you explain drugs...meaning the drugs these kids see now a days....Oxy, Meth, Herion, Coke...the hard **** that is prevalent more now than ever. But then downplay Pot? So I am asking any other parents WHO smoke pot, what did you say to your kids about it?
Author ThumbingMyWay Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 my daughter will be 10 this year. but she knows what drugs are....she knows there "BAD"....assuming this is what they are told in school.... I think there BAD too....cept weed in moderation.... she understands smoking cigs is bad....drinking alot is not good for you....but as for drugs...she justs thinks there bad....
2sure Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 This is tough, but its a good question. I dont smoke pot or take drugs...but I have nothing against people who smoke pot. At all. That being said, my ex is the father of our now 13 yo daughter who lives with me. She stays with him every other weekend. Stay with me. He smokes pot regularly. I always assumed and he confimred that he didnt do it around her. She turns 10 or 11, they have a drug awareness program at school...she starts acting really anxious when she has been at her Dad's. Finally says to me, crying: "The Drug Monster Has My Daddy". Broke my Heart. I talked to him, and it broke his heart too. I thought. Rather than not use it while she is there (and ask his family not to) ...he sat her down and explained to her that he needs it for medical reasons. Even at 10 she knew this was a lie , so that made it worse. I dont know why he couldnt just not do it with her there. I dont drink alcohol in front of her. I didnt know how to explain to her that school and police were right - drugs were bad but that this was OK. She is too young to process that and a long way from being old enough or mature enough regarding decisions about drug use and criminal activity. She doesnt think much of her Dad anymore.
Art_Critic Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I'm not a drug user but in this case I would think that you should continue to make sure she is raised to be drug free, so you should continue on with the anti drug language that the schools use.. When she gets older (15-18) you could either tell her the truth that you use drugs and explain to her why and let her make up her own mind about it and your addiction and hopefully she will continue to be drug free or you could just continue status quo and let her find out about your use on her own... I think your in a bit of a pickle since the do as I say not as I do only works when they are small children and can't be mindful of the harm that come of them in society and it might backfire.. maybe other posters that have dealt with it might have a better viewpoint than I... Now.. what would I do... I would ask myself "Do I want her using drugs ?".. this question would be paramount to me if I was in your shoes on how to handle it and I would most likely bring her up with good morals and anti drug and let her find out about any drug use on her own... so in other words.. I would deny deny deny.... or quit
clv0116 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 ....was an honer student....alwasy kept a ... Oh the irony. Also, I don't see how you can routinely break the law and expect to be a good example to your children. It has nothing to do with drugs to me and everything to do with respect for civil authority. Or lack of it.
Meaplus3 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Also, I don't see how you can routinely break the law and expect to be a good example to your children. It has nothing to do with drugs to me and everything to do with respect for civil authority. Or lack of it. I very much agree with clv. Now as far as explaining drugs to your children, Does your school system have a D.A.R.E program? Mea:)
quankanne Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 no kids, but a husband who rediscovered pot when the pain pills weren't working. And frankly, I prefer him getting stoned than getting drunk, because I'd much rather have my pantry raided for emergency chocolate than have to deal with A*swipe From Hell when he's drunk. And he knows it. that said, I would continue to encourage the anti-drug stuff, and as your child gets older, explain to him/her that there are different kinds of additions (hardcore street drugs, addictive meds, alcohol, tobacco, pot, etc). That you don't do X, Y or Z, but that you made a conscious choice to smoke pot (bear with me). But that doesn't have to be *her* decision, that she can remain drug-free and you'll respect that. To a point where you promise you will try to never let your smoking interfere with your relationship with her.
redfathom Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I agree with Art. Sure you could tell her pot isn't bad, thus giving her the okay to do it when she is older. But then there is no gurantee that she won't use something harder, why risk it. I have never done drugs personally, but I grew up around it from my mom and her friends. I remember piles of pot just sitting on her dresser, I remember then hiding their needles under the couch...I also remember that while all of this was going on my mom was a mess and a really bad mother. I am not saying that you're a bad mother, but I would tell my child it's okay to break the law because it's not THAT bad. I think you should always encourage your child to be better then you and that can mean being drug free.
Art_Critic Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 When I was about 9 my Mom caught my brother and I stealing her cigarettes and giving them out to our friends.. We took a few packs but only smoked 1 cigarette. She quit that day because she realized how her nicotine addiction was going to affect her children.. That was 36 years ago and she has remained a non smoker since that day... I applaud my Mom for that and of the 3 children that she has none of them have ever smoked any cigarettes and therefore have lengthened and enriched their lives and she will be around for her grand children because of it... Of course this was cigarettes and not pot and we were actively smoking them.. Just thought I would share the story..
hotgurl Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 that is exactly why I gave up smoking pot when I found out I was pregnant. I knew I could never be so hypocritical as to tell my daughter not to do drugs but than do them myself. I have always felt you need to live your life as an example to your children. the whole actions mean more than words thing. That said for I never had a problem with adults occasionally smoking pot. But I feel it is really harmful for children and teen. you need to think about this because what is going to anger her more than just the drug use is the lying(if you hide it) and expecting one thing from her but doing the opposite.
Author ThumbingMyWay Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 Oh the irony. Also, I don't see how you can routinely break the law and expect to be a good example to your children. It has nothing to do with drugs to me and everything to do with respect for civil authority. Or lack of it. everyone has there opinion.....if I lived in Amsterdam, law and civil authority wouldnt be an issue with my questions..... I spose you dont go over the speed limit, or J-walk, and of course you never pissed outside..... a law is a law right? dont judge me brother.....
hotgurl Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 you have 2 maybe three years before she starts to encounter drugs in school. My 13 year old daughter just had a huge fight with a friend because she was hanging out with some local pot heads and her friend was telling her how awesome it is and how cool it is etc....
redfathom Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Don't be so sure:Technically, the sale of cannabis remains an offence in Holland, and dealing in the streets remains illegal. Even so, possession of less than 30 grams for personal use carries only a minor punishment, and coffee shops are restricted to flogging no more than five grams per person. The catch is you have to be 18 or over. Smoking in public is tolerated, too, but many Brit tokers report that such a laid back attitude takes some getting used to. As a result, they prefer to remain free from all risk of coming into conflict with the law by only smoking in the coffee shop. In CA you get a ticket, that seems pretty light punishment, and that's if you get a ticket, most cops will just throw it away.
Author ThumbingMyWay Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 I have always felt you need to live your life as an example to your children. the whole actions mean more than words thing Believe me...I do set good examples for my kids. its not like I leave my pot around the house...I dont even keep it in the house...heck I dont even smoke that much......but I do smoke on occasion. My daughter is very grounded and has a very non-selfish way about her...we have done a great job so far...she is a very loving person and very grateful towards life itself. She makes good choices and thinks tings thru before she reacts. My point is.....YES the fact is I do use pot...YES it is illegal, but IMO...I dont seem any harm to myself or others since I dont use pot in her presense or in situations that it would be deemed inappropiate. I keep in on the downlow so to speak....I aint a PROUD user, but I partake just the same. if you met me in person and knew of all the things I do and am involved with...you would be very surprised that I smoked. anyway....I dont want this to turn into BASH the pot smokers tread...geez people.....I just want to know what others have said to there kids in regards to drugs (hardcore all the way to lowcore). As far as hiding it...I dont need to do that...cause I dont smoke or keep it around the house or when I am with them. This is a social thing I do, not a thing I do in the home.
Trialbyfire Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 She's 10 years old. Don't get too complex. Here's a clip on youtube that would explain it without needing to differentiate between hard and soft drugs. When she gets older, then explain the difference within reason. If she asks if you've tried drugs, be honest and say, "yes, I have". Before you have to get too much into your perspective, immediately ask her if she's tried it herself. This will sabotage any further questions.
redfathom Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Believe me...I do set good examples for my kids. its not like I leave my pot around the house...I dont even keep it in the house...heck I dont even smoke that much......but I do smoke on occasion. My daughter is very grounded and has a very non-selfish way about her...we have done a great job so far...she is a very loving person and very grateful towards life itself. She makes good choices and thinks tings thru before she reacts. My point is.....YES the fact is I do use pot...YES it is illegal, but IMO...I dont seem any harm to myself or others since I dont use pot in her presense or in situations that it would be deemed inappropiate. I keep in on the downlow so to speak....I aint a PROUD user, but I partake just the same. if you met me in person and knew of all the things I do and am involved with...you would be very surprised that I smoked. anyway....I dont want this to turn into BASH the pot smokers tread...geez people.....I just want to know what others have said to there kids in regards to drugs (hardcore all the way to lowcore). As far as hiding it...I dont need to do that...cause I dont smoke or keep it around the house or when I am with them. This is a social thing I do, not a thing I do in the home.Why keep doing it if you aren't proud of it, is it peer pressure, because you do it socially you feel obligated because people you socilalize with do it.?
hotgurl Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Believe me...I do set good examples for my kids. its not like I leave my pot around the house...I dont even keep it in the house...heck I dont even smoke that much......but I do smoke on occasion. My daughter is very grounded and has a very non-selfish way about her...we have done a great job so far...she is a very loving person and very grateful towards life itself. She makes good choices and thinks tings thru before she reacts. My point is.....YES the fact is I do use pot...YES it is illegal, but IMO...I dont seem any harm to myself or others since I dont use pot in her presense or in situations that it would be deemed inappropiate. I keep in on the downlow so to speak....I aint a PROUD user, but I partake just the same. if you met me in person and knew of all the things I do and am involved with...you would be very surprised that I smoked. anyway....I dont want this to turn into BASH the pot smokers tread...geez people.....I just want to know what others have said to there kids in regards to drugs (hardcore all the way to lowcore). As far as hiding it...I dont need to do that...cause I dont smoke or keep it around the house or when I am with them. This is a social thing I do, not a thing I do in the home. well I wasn't bashing you. If you read my post you would see I have no problems with adults partaking. Personally I couldn't tell my daughter not to use pot if I was myself. I feel it is really bad for teenagers. So I don't know how to answer your question.
Author ThumbingMyWay Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 Why keep doing it if you aren't proud of it, is it peer pressure, because you do it socially you feel obligated because people you socilalize with do it.? peer pressure...LOL...I am in my late 30's and i stopped jumping off the pier 20 years ago. I do it cause I like too. Simple as that. Same reason I eat Chorizo and eggs...cuase I like it. I also enjoy drinking beer, because I like it.....I also masterbate because I like it...but I aint going to walk around boosting about those things....thats just silly IMO. I guess I aint as uptight about POT....just like I aint uptight about driving over the speed limit.....
Author ThumbingMyWay Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 would you have a problem if she smoked pot? thats s good question. would I mind if she smoked at age 13.....HELL YES... would I mind if she smoked at age 20.....probably not.....as long as she maintains a good head on her shoulders, doesnt let pot, alcohol, or other things affect her goals in life...then I wouldnt have a problem wiht it. Lots of people smoke pot....and they are not all potheads in the stereotypical defintion.
Author ThumbingMyWay Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 well I wasn't bashing you I know your werent.....no offense taken
Kamille Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I'm not a drug user but in this case I would think that you should continue to make sure she is raised to be drug free, so you should continue on with the anti drug language that the schools use.. My parents didn't leave education about drugs solely to the school. They bought books on the topic, showed us charts (my province provided them on request to whoever wanted them in its prevention efforts) and would discuss drugs openly with us. My dad had smoked pot for awhile in his life and he had told himself that he wouldn't tell us about it until we asked him directly, and then would tell us the bare minimum and highlighting the negatives. (Yes I smoked pot, it made me feel less motivated and I got paranoid.) It worked. My sister never did drugs and I am, like you, an occasionnal pot smoker who never tried other drugs because I was fully informed on the risks involved. I also always felt like I could turn to my parents if ever I did have an issue.
Cuppie_Cake Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 I am now in my 30's, my mother has smoked pot my entire life, never hiding either, not that she smoked in front of me, but she made no attempts at covering up the smell. In my house the pot smell was as prevalent as cig smoke. When it was time for the drug speech ( when you are a tween conversations longer than 2 mins were a speech... LOL) She told me do as I say, not as I do. Then she went on to explain WHY she smoked, and all the reasons why I should NOT. And really spelled out the differences between what the common drugs (in the late 80's early 90's) And about how you can become addicted to them, like Coke and heroin. And what some peeps would do to get them. However as a teen (16ish) I started smoking pot with friends from school. I didnt smoke long though, as all I wanted to do was eat, and being a girl at 16, I was all about my image and weight. But when I did come home smelling like pot, that is when she told me, that if I was going to smoke the stuff, that I had to get it from HER. She was concerned that I would smoke something that was laced with PCP, or dipped in formaldahyde. I am GRATEFUL that my mom was so open about it. And other drugs. I took her more seriously when she said dont do this drug or that drug, cause I knew my mom knew what she was talking about. Wanted to give you another perspective from a child growing up with a pothead for a mom (and she stills smokes to this day). The real upside to it was we always had good snacks... lol
missdependant Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 Are you by any chance in a state where it's been decriminalized? If so, then you can discuss it the same way you would alcohol.. explain that it is something that should be used RESPONSIBLY by adults. Also, I saw an article on CNN about a book written for kids.. called "It's Just a Plant". Perhaps you could look into this?
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