clintsgirl Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I wrote in here before, and got some great advice, unfornatually it hasn't gotten any better... So we've been together for over 3 yrs, live together, im 29, he's 31. We've had our ups and downs like any relationship, first couple of years our sex life was awesome. I'm not stupid i know the honey moon fase, and things die down after awhile, but not like this, non exsistent. I know for a fact he is not cheating on me. I've always known he's a porn watcher, we used to watch it togeher, never bothered me cause we had a normal sex life. Now its just him watching porn and no sex. He is still nice to me, says nice things, tells me he loves me. But has every excuse for no sex. I'm to drunk, I'm tired, I promise tonight. He knows this is a problem he knows how upset i am. I've cried, screamed, talked, emailed, wrote a letter, anything to get through to him. He says its his problem not mine, and he will fix it. Last week after almost a year of not having normal "sex" (if anything its oral once a month), i begged and cried, asking him if something is wrong, he needs to see a dr or something. He says no, its just the same excuses. So last night again he promises, i dont even get my hopes up anymore. i go to bed, he comes to bed about 20 mins later, i have no clothes on, he keeps his nike shorts and boxers on. He turns his back towards me, i put my arm around him. we lay there for 20 mins, nothing happens. I'm about to lose my mind, i finally ask him if he is tired, he says yes and falls off to sleep. I wake up this morning, beyond sick of taking care of this myself, expecially when i have a boyfriend that says he loves me and wants to make it better, but does nothing. He wakes up of course knows i'm pissed. He turns it around all on me, saying he was laying there waiting for me to come on to him. (i wanted to punch him after he said that). Then he goes on saying, if i want it that bad, and i complain all the time, i need to start the processes and come onto him when i want it. Mind you i've asked (which is sad i have to ask), i've begged, I've stayed up w/ him till my eyes feel like they are going to bleed, and its always the same excuses. But this time its my fault, cause i shouldnt of done something about it. I love this man, and want to spend the rest of my life with him. But i can't w/out a sex life. I dont know what else to do, and I'm scared if my needs and wants go unlooked any longer, i'm going to stray. Which i never have and dont want too, but what do u do?!?
manugeorge Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 When you say you ask for it, how exactly do you do that? He may have a point, do you initiate, you know, kissing him first, caressing him and all that or do you just lay in bed and wait for him to get things started?
bayouboi Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 When you say you stay up until your eyes feel like they're going to bleed & that he comes to bed many minutes after you do, what is he doing that he's staying up so late? Is he using the computer, working on a car, doing housework, hanging with friends? Just curious. I don't think it would hurt to be more direct with your approach.
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