2sunny Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 doesn't really matter what the lie is - the fact that are willing to begin things with that at the forefront indicates a bigger issue for me. from my perspective, if they are willing to lie about little things - they will also lie about big things too.
Jaytb Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 . Alot of women have learned they can attract taller men and have fun doing it. I don't hit 5" and I can tell! Woa, five inches? I can put you in my pocket.
samspade Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Alot of women have learned they can attract taller men and have fun doing it. This is a good thing! I'm not going to shame women for finding height attractive. And I don't think men should lie about their height online to trick a woman into a first date. It's bush league. I don't believe in "correcting" what someone finds attractive. Attraction is not a choice. It's much easier to live and let live than to b*tch about someone else's preferences. And lying about your attributes is a sign of insecurity. Love yourself or no one else will.
Jersey Shortie Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Lol. As I type this, I am doing it Tom Hanks "Big" style on my keyboard.
Author Bells Posted March 27, 2009 Author Posted March 27, 2009 It's amazing how a new post is added so quickly once I get done reading the last post. :laugh:
Jersey Shortie Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 This is a good thing! I'm not going to shame women for finding height attractive. No, you wouldn't do that. You will just shame them for other things.
Jaytb Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I am not saying they are an extraordinary catch, I am saying those women want a fair chance! Capiche? Everyone wants a fair chance. Short guys, fat guys, skinny guys, stupid guys:p. I suggest you date the shortest ugliest fattest men you can find so you can give them a fair chance. The lesson is, life isn't fair. And by the way, I am sympathetic to older women. But lying is the not the way to go in finding a relationship. Because a lot of the men that are online playing the online dating game, or men who seek matchmakers such as the man in my earlier example, are ignorant to how to find true love. They are looking for love with their weeiners, they may be good men with a lot of good to offer just misguided and lost. Let's face it women sometimes need to guide men in the right direction. No skin off my back either way, but you'd think some of these eternal bachelor confused types would welcome a push in the right direction. And if these men who only limit themselves to perfect youthful women are such great catches why are they even online to begin with trying to meet really young hot women? That's where the disconnect happens, dude you are online or seeking a matchmaker, what's with all the demands all of a sudden? Clearly you ain't all that otherwise you' would not need the "extra" help. So open your spectrum to women that will be realistically more interested in you and you might just find love. Where have we heard this before: "I know what I want and I won't SETTLE!" Believe it or not, women are just like men in this regard. Just replace age with height, level of success, etc etc. Some people, not either gender specifically, have problems with high expectations. Oh, and whose business of yours is why they're doing online dating? I wouldn't concern myself with it, and neither should you.
boxing123 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 The worst is when they put up a fake picture. Even many women on this site do it.. They find a picture of some hot girl and then say "I look like her" This one girl and iIwere about to meet. I really liked her picture. We chatted for about a month. I asked her to send me another picture. She sent me a collage of various models. I asked "Which one are you?" She replied "Those are picture of women whom I strive to look like". She then told me even the first photo she sent was someone else. Then she was really mad when I told her I thought she was odd for sending me a fake photo, and saying it was her..
samspade Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 No, you wouldn't do that. You will just shame them for other things. You are correct. Deception, to name one, which deserves shame. Unfortunately, some people don't have any.
Hi.P.O'Crit Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 I saw a funny reality show the other day, one where a dating matchmaker has to match a millionaire man with a date. ... He was completely against dating women over 31 ..., so the matchmaker threw a get together ...they were for the most part trashy not very interesting women, ...simply put "disgusting". No class, no personality, completely fake looking with disgustingly grotesque out of shape breasts hanging out of a cheesy $15 spandex top, just rank! ... So the matchmaker decided to let the millionaire talk to the millionairess.... She was gorgeous, very sexy, articulate, SUPER cool looking great sense of style, funny, calm, everything you can imagine in a woman who has her own shet together and takes care of herself. ... But you could just see the connection between him and the millionaires you could see how engaged the two were in the conversation and each other ad the flirty laughter. There was none of that with the bimbettes he chose for himself first. The two went on a date and completely hit it off ... and he walked away with love where he least would have looked, in a woman his own age. So this guy went to a fixed poker game and we're supposed to be surprised the way the game turned out?
JerseyShortie Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 You are correct. Deception, to name one, which deserves shame. Unfortunately, some people don't have any. I've never seen you shame anyone for deception with the same zest as other topics that have shaming overtones to it.
pollywag Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Samspade: Before you get your tightie whities in a knot, it is not a matter of right and wrong it is a matter of reality. Reality is people have unrealistic expectations online, they expect the world when they offer Antarctica, because it is easy to have elated views of the self when all you do is sit and fantasize behind a computer screen. I'm glad people lie online, I hope women end up lying even MORE! Maybe that will push things back to basics, and men will get off their manginas and develop balls again and actually pound the pavement to find a woman to date and women will be more receptive to that and become less masculine in their ways. Instead of sitting back playing date lalaland behind a computer screen where everyone and anyone is bored and jaded out of their minds and nothing is ever good enough. I feel for those handful of people who are genuinely looking for love and too shy or introvereted to meet poeople face to face and who are serious about it, but for the most part and like anything in life most people on there can't see the forest for the trees. So it seems laughable to have such high expectations in terms of not being "lied" to about age when you can't even be realistic about yourself. When the whole premise of online dating is basically how you can hype yourself up so that someone will fall for you in the fantasy realm, so that when they finally meet you they can overlook all your real flaws given all the lies you managed to tweak online. But please don't lie about your age! What about all people who write in their profiles that they are smart, and kind, honest and dependable and all blah blah blah and someone takes the time out to get to know them and they prove to be nothing like that. Everyone lies online, from the perfectly angled picture to the way people perceive themselves, they LIE. Build a bridge and get over it I say, lies are par for course online.
pollywag Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 This one girl and iIwere about to meet. I really liked her picture. We chatted for about a month. I asked her to send me another picture. She sent me a collage of various models. I asked "Which one are you?" She replied "Those are picture of women whom I strive to look like". She then told me even the first photo she sent was someone else. Then she was really mad when I told her I thought she was odd for sending me a fake photo, and saying it was her.. :lmao::lmao: Classic! That was a funny story it is so pathetic it is actually good. That is what you get online, people telling and showing you what you want to hear and see.
Hi.P.O'Crit Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Everyone lies online, from the perfectly angled picture to the way people perceive themselves, they LIE. Build a bridge and get over it I say, lies are par for course online. It shouldn't be. There's enough animosity between the sexes as it is. Why add to it? It's universal that people will say they want honesty in a relationship. So why not start with honesty?
Jaytb Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Samspade: Before you get your tightie whities in a knot, it is not a matter of right and wrong it is a matter of reality. Reality is people have unrealistic expectations online, they expect the world when they offer Antarctica, because it is easy to have elated views of the self when all you do is sit and fantasize behind a computer screen. I'm glad people lie online, I hope women end up lying even MORE! Maybe that will push things back to basics, and men will get off their manginas and develop balls again and actually pound the pavement to find a woman to date and women will be more receptive to that and become less masculine in their ways. Instead of sitting back playing date lalaland behind a computer screen where everyone and anyone is bored and jaded out of their minds and nothing is ever good enough. I feel for those handful of people who are genuinely looking for love and too shy or introvereted to meet poeople face to face and who are serious about it, but for the most part and like anything in life most people on there can't see the forest for the trees. So it seems laughable to have such high expectations in terms of not being "lied" to about age when you can't even be realistic about yourself. When the whole premise of online dating is basically how you can hype yourself up so that someone will fall for you in the fantasy realm, so that when they finally meet you they can overlook all your real flaws given all the lies you managed to tweak online. But please don't lie about your age! What about all people who write in their profiles that they are smart, and kind, honest and dependable and all blah blah blah and someone takes the time out to get to know them and they prove to be nothing like that. Everyone lies online, from the perfectly angled picture to the way people perceive themselves, they LIE. Build a bridge and get over it I say, lies are par for course online. Lol, weren't a second ago you were saying men should "settle" for older women? why should a "manly" man settle for a women he doesn't want? Shouldn't he go after the younger women he wants? You're right about those who live in fantasyland. But they'll get back to reality once they figure out they have no dates. Let em learn on their own.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 If you don't like all the lying on the internet, then get off the internet. Problem solved.
Jaytb Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 If you don't like all the lying on the internet, then get off the internet. Problem solved. What's this newfangled internets these young uns are all on?
Hi.P.O'Crit Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Nah, lying on the internet isn't the problem. Lying on a dating site is a problem. I expect most, not all, to lie, even on an anonymous board. On a dating site there is an expectation to meet at some point. So why lie. It serves no purpose. It builds distrust. Everything after that becomes suspect. Why make something that already is difficult to achieve by adding more obstacles.
pollywag Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Lol, weren't a second ago you were saying men should "settle" for older women? why should a "manly" man settle for a women he doesn't want? Shouldn't he go after the younger women he wants? Did I say that? Or did I say that women lie online about their age to bypass their chances at being noticed by men who only want to see women 15 yrs younger or less? I bet if you took everyone's age out of the equation people would be talking to people online they never dreamt of. As well as if you made everyone out to have a job and no other explanation of specifics. A good clear realistic picture of what people look like, a blurb about what their interests are and no age and "yes" under occupation, and you would be surprised at how more flexible or grounded (realistic) people would become. Instead you have a saga filled with a laundry list ridiculous criteria down to what colour of underwear a person wears, and you expect to find love like that? All you are going to do is promote more lies. People see what is most desired online and they try to become that. Supply and demand, simple! Even if it is just an online persona that is what people pretend to be. You're right about those who live in fantasyland. But they'll get back to reality once they figure out they have no dates. Let em learn on their own. I'm letting them learn on their own, am not in anyone's way. YOU are the ones complaining that people aren't honest enough online, not me. I don't waste my time making social connections online, I use online as entertainment that's it. My social connections are real based on real basic criteria, "I like your vibe, let's meet again, away we go..." And in a few months maybe we'll figure out what colour underwear we prefer to wear.
tkgirl Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 OKay, we had a thread about weight....but what about singles lying about their age? I KNOW BOTH men and women do this. It's funny, I'd see the "age" show up as, say 35, and then IN the write-up of the profile....you see her explain her REAL age. "I am actually 45, but people tell me I look younger for my age" They seem to "get off" on the fact they LOOK young for their age, and they rationalize circumventing the search engine so when men do a search in ther age range that THEY can show up when y ounger men do a search (and women) Now, I have to say these women ARE rather fit and attractive as well or just active, too. They have said that they prefer younger men, because men THEIR age tend to less active as they get older, and there are some women, and it's difficult for them to find a biking or kayaking partner at the age of 45. I guess we men turn into couch potatoes at 40 or something, LOL But women seem to rationalize lying about their age in their profile. It's weird...there's this 50 year old gorgeous brunette woman I have seen online. Gorgeous smile....very good posture (carries herself well) seems very "chipper" If you were not to see her age, you'd guess her to be about 10 years younger. A lot of older women slouch or seem to look "ragged" or have dark circles under their eyes through years of a rough life or something. I saw this other woman that actually added to her profile about younger men contacting her. "Hi, guys, I'm sorry, but I don't date anyone under the age of 45, and I'm not a MILF! I'm very flattered that you are interested, but I just don't have anything in common with men under that age" She had a spiel about all these younger men contacting her, it was a shame, because she did look young for her age. lol I refer to it as the "Dick Clark" gene....lol. Some women are funny about that, they think us younger men are "coo coo" for wanting to date them. They're like "These guys are NUTS, I'm old enough to be their aunt!" I contacted a woman in her mid 40's...I'm late 30's, and she actually assumed that I just wanted to have sex with an older woman. She says, "I'm sorry, but I don't date younger men, because typically they date older women for ONE thing" She just assumed that about younger men. And honestley, it's funny because she falls within my dating age range. I'm finding late 40's women appealing now that I'm older. Other women, don't seem to mind at all. But when men do it, it's (my opinion) they just happen to like younger "babes", nothing more , nothing less. lol so that's what those younger guys were thinking when they'd contact me through match.. they just wanted sex?!! I'm appauled! hmmm... I don't know why women do that, lie about their age. I've always found that kind of sad, they should actually be PROUD of how good they look... I know I am! On the other had, I must admit it is a little tempting to lie about my age sometimes. I am 43 (yikes!) and just do NOT feel my age at all. And I'm told pretty much every day how I look a lot younger... actually the other day this young girl thought I was still in my 20's! That's a bit of a stretch... early 30's maybe... BTW my pic's on my profile here, what do you think? Anyways! the main downfall of not feeling my age is that it is hard to find guys to date. I definitely am attracted to younger guys.. mostly because I am pretty active and they have a better chance of keeping up with me! But as far trying to have a serious relationship with one them? It's tricky to say the least... any advice... um... boys?
Jaytb Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Did I say that? Or did I say that women lie online about their age to bypass their chances at being noticed by men who only want to see women 15 yrs younger or less? I bet if you took everyone's age out of the equation people would be talking to people online they never dreamt of. As well as if you made everyone out to have a job and no other explanation of specifics. A good clear realistic picture of what people look like, a blurb about what their interests are and no age and "yes" under occupation, and you would be surprised at how more flexible or grounded (realistic) people would become. Well, according to your posts, men should be more realistic. But then you said men should man up and ask out women. Wouldn't you think those men want younger women (regardless if they're a good match), and so by manning up, they more likely would ask out younger women? Instead you have a saga filled with a laundry list ridiculous criteria down to what colour of underwear a person wears, and you expect to find love like that? All you are going to do is promote more lies. People see what is most desired online and they try to become that. Supply and demand, simple! Even if it is just an online persona that is what people pretend to be.From men and women, mind you. I'm letting them learn on their own, am not in anyone's way. YOU are the ones complaining that people aren't honest enough online, not me. I don't waste my time making social connections online, I use online as entertainment that's it. My social connections are real based on real basic criteria, "I like your vibe, let's meet again, away we go..." And in a few months maybe we'll figure out what colour underwear we prefer to wear. Me too. We're just arguing whether anyone has any good reasons to lie in online dating.
samspade Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Everyone lies online, from the perfectly angled picture to the way people perceive themselves, they LIE. Build a bridge and get over it I say, lies are par for course online. I'm glad people lie online, I hope women end up lying even MORE! Thank you for sharing your opinion. Now we know how you feel about lying to get what you want. If you don't like all the lying on the internet, then get off the internet. I'm beginning to understand now. I'm the one with the problem because I think that starting off a potential relationship with a lie is a bad idea. I suppose it's silly to argue what is a fundamental difference in principle. I'm not willing to tolerate dishonesty if I find out about it, and other people are because they can rationalize it or tell themselves everybody does it. I'm not perfect, and I don't expect anyone else to be, but to me it's much more attractive for a woman to embrace who and what she is than to make shyt up. But that's just me.
pollywag Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Well, according to your posts, men should be more realistic. But then you said men should man up and ask out women. Wouldn't you think those men want younger women (regardless if they're a good match), and so by manning up, they more likely would ask out younger women? Yes that is what I am saying, and I am also saying ask out whomever your desire. That isn't the issue. The reality is you will and can ask whomever you want out but if you get rejected enough you will make the necessary changes to focus your search geared on what you can realistically get. Online you don't focus on what you can realistically get because rejection behind a computer screen is not really rejection, hence people spend years on dating sites waiting for their unicorn. Hey it's their life, waste it how you wish. Do I blame people for making themselves more "marketable" in the demands online, no, it's the only way you can get ahead. When you are too honest it gets you nowhere when you have someone slighty better by clicking "next". Dating isn't honest, you don't tell people you are lazy or temperamental or moody or have commitment issues or can't get it up or whatever your downfall may be, you wait to get to know the person and eventually hope that as they get to know you you can ease the other person into your flaws. Online is no different only the good is magnified TEN fold because the competition and options are infinite. People are forced to make themselves even more unrealistically appealing. From men and women, mind you. I meant men and women as well. Me too. We're just arguing whether anyone has any good reasons to lie in online dating. Well you keep making this about me, telling me to let people do what they want. I am debating the point not telling people what to do. Should you lie to get a job online? No, but people do anyway to outdo the competition, if the truth comes out eventually and you can't live up to expectations well that is your own hurdle to overcome. The point sometimes is getting your foot in the door and some people are good at winging it and making up for their "lies".
samspade Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 On a dating site there is an expectation to meet at some point. So why lie. It serves no purpose. It builds distrust. Everything after that becomes suspect. Why make something that already is difficult to achieve by adding more obstacles. You said better than I did, and in far fewer words.
Hi.P.O'Crit Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Yes that is what I am saying, and I am also saying ask out whomever your desire. That isn't the issue. The reality is you will and can ask whomever you want out but if you get rejected enough you will make the necessary changes to focus your search geared on what you can realistically get. Online you don't focus on what you can realistically get because rejection behind a computer screen is not really rejection, hence people spend years on dating sites waiting for their unicorn. Hey it's their life, waste it how you wish. Do I blame people for making themselves more "marketable" in the demands online, no, it's the only way you can get ahead. When you are too honest it gets you nowhere when you have someone slighty better by clicking "next". I'll have to disagree here. This is just my experience. Offline I have dated girls that were 5'6"-5'8". No big deal right? Except I'm 5'4". Maybe a shade taller. Online though that combination is almost unheard of. At least from what I've seen.
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