jadelil25 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I am just so confused and really need help and opinions on this! My boyfriend of 3 months went to end things on Tuesday. He asked me to come over so that we could talk. I ended up getting upset because it hurt but I did want to talk as well. I asked him why he felt this way because I wanted to know and understand. He said that he feels that he is not making me happy and this is getting to him and he needs to think on what to do. He said that he does care about me and like me a lot and wants something serious not casual. He then said that he likes to have space, time on his own without seeing anyone or communicating with anyone, this is just something he has to do and a part of his personality. I said I know no and underststand and wished id known before so that I could have understood. I said I think that we can work, there is a connection there and now I understand I can work on this and will not worry. I was upset at the time but I Wanted to work on this. I asked him a couple of times for another chance. I then left him to it, sat in the corner, tried not to cry but I still did. He then went quiet, sat there thinking and started crying. After a while he come over and sat opporsit me and said that he is willing to give this another chance. He said that I need to understand that he likes to be on his own and that he does not like to communicate all the time. He said that we need to start afresh, not communicate all the time, not have stop overs and go slow. i. e once or twice a week max seeing each other. Before this we arranged to meet on Friday and after we stopped talking he hugged me and kissed me and said that we will be ok and we can do something Friday. Should I message him and ask casually if we are still doing something tomorrow night? I really want this to work and im happy slowing down and not seeing each other as much/less communication. Do you think this can work? If two people are willing to work together do second chances work? Also why did he message me yesterday asking how I am, even tho we only spoke the night before if he does not want communication every day? This has confused me. I really will appreciate your help. Sorry its a bit long. I Just need other peoples opinions. Thank you.
Monty36 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 from my experience in relationships i can understand where he is coming from. Sometimes when your with someone you get to the point where you start to feel a little crowded and that your significant other is the only element in your life, basically you feel like your being suffocated. So i understand where he is coming from when he says that he wants a little space. I think that because you two are both working to make this relationship work, their is a good chance that it will. By setting "rules" you two are able to still be a part of each others lives but at the same time not be the only thing in your lives. Hopefully you will reach a point to where you don't need rules and seeing each other will just become something natural just as if you were hanging out with another friend, but for now give him the "space" he wants and soon he will realize that he wants to spend more time together. and as for your mixed messages don't worry about that to much. Personally i think he felt bad about your reaction the other night and was just texing you to check up on you to make sure you were ok. I would call it a good sign not a mixed signal, it shows that he cares about you
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