zachary85 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Hi all, I'm mostly a lurker but come today with a genuine question. I hope this is the right subforum. First here's the backstory: I was walking home on Saturday night after seeing some music and the route took me past a pole dancing studio. You know like the ones that are for normal people to go to for exercise and/or hens nights? Well anyway there's a hens night going on and a bunch of the girls are out the front dressed in lingerie and similar gear. One of the girls approached me and explained that they were having a hens night and wanted a guy to receive a lapdance from the bride-to-be. In retrospect I assume she would have remained clothed (relatively speaking) but who knows. Anyway I respectfully declined. The girl who was asking (propositioning? ) me was like "Oh that's cool. Good for you" and such. Anyway for your information my reason for declining is that I'm just not comfortable with it. I mean I'm all for naked chicks and such and have been to strip clubs on boys nights out but to me the idea of getting a lapdance seems degrading to both parties involved. I suppose I feel that it's going that one step further than just "looking". Probably related to having a Christian upbringing. So here's the question: when the girl replied to me do you expect she was genuine or it is more likely she was patronising me? Girls, is this a respectable quality in a man or should I just go with what's considered normal guy behaviour?
JohnnyBlaze Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 My guess is that she was just being respectful. Women know that not all guys want a lap dance from a complete stranger; they're cool with that. I find that with bachelorette/hen parties, all bets are off. I don't know what it is about a girl out on a bachelorette party, but it's like every rule/convention/moral/law they have ever abided by is suspended for one night. All the crazy things they have ever wanted to do are now fair game. And rest assured; they will indulge in every last little one of them. I doubt that the request the girls made of you had nothing to do with degredation; it was a girl's last night to go out and flirt with whoever the heck she wanted. Just be glad that's all they asked of you! Although I know the second question was asked of the girls here, I'm going to answer anyway (I never was good at following instructions). Forget "normal guy" behaviour; just go with what's normal for you. If you said yes, you most likely would've been uncomfortable, and it would have shown. That wouldn't have been fun for you or for the bride-to-be. So, in my never-so-humble opinion, you're better off with the decision you made. Don't worry, they found someone else, and all ended well.
Quinch Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I've been to a lap dancing club once and it was okay. I can't say that I didn't enjoy it but its one of those things that I do once just so I can say I've done it. I would feel a lot more uncomfortable getting a lapdance from a girl who's meant to be getting married the next day. I suspect she was drunk and then at least one of you would regret it in the morning.
The Collector Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I think it sounds weird. I would have said no too, and not because of any Christian upbringing. They would probably have bonded as a group by humiliating you, and not been into turning you on.
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I REALLY respect men that don't go to strip/lap dancing clubs. I dislike when men do it. I think it is disrespectful for both parties also. I think the woman comes across as easy and the man as either sleazy or kinda desperate. Either way, neither to me look attractive. Maybe i'm just a little conservative.
hopesndreams Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 OMG yes, it is great that you wouldn't be into that and it would be even better if you didn't go to the strip joints as well.
GorillaTheater Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I REALLY respect men that don't go to strip/lap dancing clubs. I dislike when men do it. I think it is disrespectful for both parties also. I think the woman comes across as easy and the man as either sleazy or kinda desperate. Either way, neither to me look attractive. Maybe i'm just a little conservative. Some 20 years ago, just starting out in my career, I worked for a man who was addicted to those places (the high-end kind). I went with him a couple of times. Now, I like looking at boobs as much as the next guy, but you're right about the atmosphere: to me it reeked of not only desperation but manipulation. Total turn-off. I'm tempted by alot of things, but not by topless joints.
Author zachary85 Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 Thanks for the replies everyone! I've only been to a strip joint a couple of times and as I said it was only on a boys night out and I refused to get a lapdance. I was actually very reluctant to go at all because I agree with Gorilla: it just seems such a sleazy desperate place. Well it looks like I'll stay the boring non strip club frequenter I am On the side note raised by JohnnyBlaze, I don't get hens/bucks nights. I figure if you really love the person you're marrying then why would you want a final night of debaucherous single behaviour? And if you would do that stuff when you have a girlfriend/boyfriend then what's stopping you from doing it when you're married?
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