exclusive. Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Instead of each day getting better, I feel worse. Each day she doesn't even attempt to contact me, kills me a little bit inside each day. Going from someone's everything to nothing, has just made me miserable. I don't get why I am not healing? Why everyday I still secretly wish to hear from her, Im so fed up with feeling this way Im making myself literally feel sick. But I have no idea how to change it? Is it as simple as, if there was another girl to take my mind off things it would?
Kage111 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I've been a few months of NC and it definitely gets worse before it gets better. I'm not so sure meeting a new girl helps so much right away either. I recently started hanging out with a new girl who showed interest in me and all I think about when I'm with her is how she is inferior to my ex. I mean it's nice to have someone who doesn't make me feel like s*** every second of the day, but as soon as I begin to doubt anything about her, all those feeling come back tenfold. It also doesn't help when the ex tries to come back and "be friends." Stick with it, I'm sure it gets better eventually.
transamkid86 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 i feel the same way i tell meself if only i can find another girl to keep my mind off her...
gavinus Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I know how u feel!! Its been nearly 8 weeks split for me since my ex dumped me. My exs brother calls to say hi, I still get mail for her and for her father. I see her driving around every few weeks, and the field of study I am doing she works in!! All I can say is be strong my friends!! What does not kill you makes you stronger!! And keep posting here! At least the people here care more than our exs, United we stand...divided we fall
soyou Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 It has been two weeks... I know I am strong, determined and stubborn... I know when to let go when it is necessary I know when to not hold myself back I know myself I know that this wont last long ....unless a miracle.. It seems I have been so through and understood what'd be best for us Why am I still sad? Why am I feeling so empty inside? Why am I still hoping and expecting? Yes, I let go of everything - all the memories we have had together Yes, I let go of you - a part of my life Yes, I let go of all the feelings, emotions I have treasured for you Yes, I am letting all go It is not easy....but I am STRONG, you know that. I chose a chapter of my life with you I close my way back to the past I close myself to the vulnerability All the way long, suddenly I am again SINGLE....!!! Goodbye....!
LoveUrselfFirst Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Instead of each day getting better, I feel worse. Each day she doesn't even attempt to contact me, kills me a little bit inside each day. Going from someone's everything to nothing, has just made me miserable. I don't get why I am not healing? Why everyday I still secretly wish to hear from her, Im so fed up with feeling this way Im making myself literally feel sick. But I have no idea how to change it? Is it as simple as, if there was another girl to take my mind off things it would? Another girl will definitely NOT take your mind off of things...may even make it worse if you jump into something new so quickly. I'm sorry that its killing you but maybe in order to move forward try keeping yourself busy. What did you use to do before meeting her that you liked doing? Go jogging, read, listen to music (not love longs at first), go out with your friends and enjoy life. I can tell you first hand that it's not easy at first, but in time the pain will heal and you will move on.
northstar1 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Instead of each day getting better, I feel worse. Each day she doesn't even attempt to contact me, kills me a little bit inside each day. Going from someone's everything to nothing, has just made me miserable. I don't get why I am not healing? Why everyday I still secretly wish to hear from her, Im so fed up with feeling this way Im making myself literally feel sick. But I have no idea how to change it? Is it as simple as, if there was another girl to take my mind off things it would? WE've all been there man. You are still in the early days of NC, where you are resisting it because it seems counter intuitive that the person who once contacted you every day now seems to not care at all. There are a few ways to change it, and most of that is time. And keeping busy. Whenever I'd start dwelling on things, I'd just get up and leave the house, even if it meant just going for a run, or the coffeeshop. Dating can help. But dating too early is tough when you spend the time comparing them to your ex. I remember the first few weeks/months of NC, I'd check my inbox, thinking she'd write, and actually getting both sick and angry when another week would pass with nothing. Eventually you realize that no contact is actually good.
BCCA Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 It's a roller coaster of emotions. Initially, youre going to feel more anxiety, anger, depression, and sadness than you do happiness or moments where youre not thinking about it. I'm sure right now, everything you do, everywhere you go, everything on the radio, etc...reminds you of her. With time, you start to think about it less and less. You go from spending all day thinking about it, to most of the day, many times a day, to maybe once a day/week. Eventually, its a passing feeling that comes and goes pretty quickly. The thing that really sucks is that there is no shortcut for time. Its just going to take a while. I'm about 7 months out of the break, and I still find things popping up in my head a few times a week. One thing that helps is assuming that youre not going to hear from her. Dont let yourself dwell on the maybe's, make a concrete answer for yourself: shes not going to call, and even if she did, she doesnt have anything to say that you want to hear. Dating too soon can also be a bad idea. When youre emotionally 'down' following a break up, any further rejections will just erode your self esteem even more. Also, its not really fair to someone else to date them, when in the back of your mind, youre still waiting for your ex to call. Youre not really ready for a relationship. I recomend just going out dancing or to a bar, someplace where you can talk to people, but not actually be dating.
Author exclusive. Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 ah man, I love posting my feelings on this site in time of despair. Thank you all for your responses. I appreciate them all.
messed-mind Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 7 weeks is still early, it takes a long time. I'll be honest, I didn't get over my ex until I met someone else. I think I first realised I was getting over it when I met someone and thought "wow she's really hot" and I actually really fancied her. I don't just mean I saw a hot girl, but I got the chance to talk to and make conversation with her. It made me feel alive, feel new and I never game my ex a single thought. I actually thought to myself "wow i'm glad i'm single!". I asked her out, she said yes, we now live together . You'll get there dude, be strong and post when you feel low.
Author exclusive. Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 my current problem is, I think Im looking too hard - but unsure how to change that when you would like something
huck Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 in the same boat as you exclusive. This forum proves how messy break ups are and there are probably millions of others out there that feel as C*ap as we do... On my experience that new person willl show up when your least expecting it and catch you off guard. Shes out there somewhere !!
imu2 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 7weeks of NC.. and feeling worse? Then i believe that ur've only physically gone NC but not attempted to mentally block her out of your daily thoughts. Each day you should atleast try remind yourself to try hard and harder to think less, and adventurely your'll start to lose all that focus on her. 1st post yay.
kizik Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 exclusive, I've been single for a year, man. At first I was desperate to find someone new - it didn't happen. Then I backed waaay off and tried to let things come my way. They didn't. But in the process of quitting, I found myself caring about me and only me. It was a necessary step and I never would have gotten to where I am today if I started dating someone else too soon. Now, my singleness is not really a choice. Trust me, I'd love to have a girlfriend. But I guess what I am saying is that what looks like a curse always ends up to be a blessing, and you can see it for what it is once, and only once, you've gotten through to the other side. You'll get there too, but I suspect you're trying to fill a void in yourself that it best filled with total, unconditional self-love. (And I'm not just talking about jacking off, but that's good too.)
Author exclusive. Posted March 27, 2009 Author Posted March 27, 2009 haha, Kizik you actually made me laugh allowed thanks. The reasons I think I have felt so bad is because I lost my job, crashed my car, had all the important contents stolen the same night, my girlfriend dumped me and my grandad passed away. The first four events happened with 3 days and my grandad died a month later. So, I've not found it very easy to stand back on my own two feet and when all the other events happen the one person you usually look towards is your girlfriend but she quitted out on me during bad times. Lovely.
iceis44 Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 exclusive, I've been single for a year, man. At first I was desperate to find someone new - it didn't happen. Then I backed waaay off and tried to let things come my way. They didn't. But in the process of quitting, I found myself caring about me and only me. It was a necessary step and I never would have gotten to where I am today if I started dating someone else too soon. Now, my singleness is not really a choice. Trust me, I'd love to have a girlfriend. But I guess what I am saying is that what looks like a curse always ends up to be a blessing, and you can see it for what it is once, and only once, you've gotten through to the other side. You'll get there too, but I suspect you're trying to fill a void in yourself that it best filled with total, unconditional self-love. (And I'm not just talking about jacking off, but that's good too.) that was halirous
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