OCCDAVE Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I posted yesterday telling everyone how my ex text me saying what was my favorite moment i shared with her ?Anyway i'm out with some friends today and i get this text I'd actually like an answer to this question.... do you ever miss me ? My reply was yep you guessed it no reply it is amazing not to get a big head but is it safe to assume shes the one whos now pining over me.I wont lie i miss her like heck but everyone here knows my story i cant go back.
badbrit Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Some girls are just nasty and those girls do it on purpose as they like to manipulate and play with you. They get a kick out of it. Some girls are confused and sometimes miss you, think about you or have regrets and feel lonely. They have remaining feelings for you and have not made a cast iron decision to never be with you again. However you will never end up happy with the girl in this situation, it does not often go back to being a mutual and happy relationship. Once the love and attraction has faded it will always remain diminished. Even if you reconcille, she will go in the future as she did the first time and it will hurt like hell the second time. Some girls do not actually want you but like to know they have the option to get you back if they so choose and so do not want you to stray too far from their net. Some girls love attention and need it for a false sense of self worth. They have low self esteem and only validation from the other sex makes them feel good about themselves. They need attention and do not want to feel that someone they have flirted with, been with, desired etc does not value them. They thirst attention. Some girls need a wake up call, they need to lose something to realise its worth. They regret their decision to finish with someone as like the ticking clock on the mantelpiece, they did not notice it ticking until it stopped. You decide which you think she is, you will try and believe she is the last one, but that kind of girl does more than text with a question like that and then does nothing. She GIVES something rather than TAKING. Your girl here takes takes takes but does not even give you a crumb. In all cases except the rare rare rare last one, the only solution is to ignore them. The last case will do a lot more than she did. You gave this girl the validation she needed and what did she give you in return except continued pain, disappointment, false hope but sadness? Some girls
gavinus Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I love your post badbrit!!!!! I will remember it going through my own breakup. As to this post it is true, if she wanted you back she would of said so
Trimmer Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I posted yesterday telling everyone how my ex text me saying what was my favorite moment i shared with her ?Anyway i'm out with some friends today and i get this text I'd actually like an answer to this question.... do you ever miss me ? I was worried as I read the first few lines of this sentence: My reply was... ...and I was shouting in my head "NO! NO! Don't reply!!!! And then as I read further: ... yep you guessed it no reply... Ahhhh.... Good for you.
badbrit Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Minor typo in my reply Dave. I said you gave her validation, I was meant to say it would have given her validation. Not replying is hard, very hard but the correct decision. It is not payback although believing she is getting some pain through your lack of response is nice, it is or should not be about her. It is about what is best for you. I am sorry but there is no going back, there really isn't. I am sure that it is possible that you could once again be her boyfriend one day but the harsh reality is that you and her will never have a long term, long lasting relationship no matter what. That is incredibly hard to hear, I know it is, I will love my ex, the mother of my young son until the day I die and dream that we will be that couple that reignite, that one day she will want me again. I realise that even if that miracle of her desiring me ever happened, it would not last, it would fall apart again as diminished feelings never really recover and she would destroy my heart again if I ever gave her that opening. I have been around enough, seen enough, read enough, experienced enough to at long last realise one simple fact - that outside of a knee jerk reaction to an argument dumping situation, once someone discards you it is because their feelings for you have diminished and once that happens they will never fully come back. So even if a reconcilliation happens, there is not enough of an anchor in that other persons heart to maintain a life long happy commitment to you. So as painful as it is, 9 times out of 10 it is advisable to walk away. That means do what suits you even when it hurts. Ignore them, do your own thing, slowly try and detach and when you realise happy ever after really is impossible, when you look longer term than attracting them back into a relationship, which is possible, but focus on what kind of relationship that would be, you can then accept it, with regret and sadness, and start to move on.
TrivialPersuit Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Sure you miss her but, she is just manipulating you. Don't fall for it. Move on and find someone who is truly into you. You are worth the honesty and love.
boxing123 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Good for you.. If you do reply back tell ehr you have someone else.
Author OCCDAVE Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 That's some really good advice badbrit.I miss her like I said but even if I went back it may be for her to lessen some guilt then bam drop me.it took long to get where I'm at now I can't throw this away.all week she's been sending me text asking my favorite moments,do I wish we never met and so on.I have to expect the worse and feel she's playin a gm whhich is a shame but she did this.
Author OCCDAVE Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 Grrr I'm so tempted to reply why must she play with my emotions like this
badbrit Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 It is called being human and being in love, even when that love is unhealthy for you. She knows how to play you. All I ask you to do is to really really understand what I wrote before. This cannot be recovered, at least not long term. All that is in front of you with her is pain, continued pain and I am 100% certain of that. Maybe you could be with her again, hold her again etc and sure that would be nice. However I have zero doubt that you will not be happy with her because of what I have already said. It is not going to ever last with her. You best option is to walk away as you have been doing but continue to do so. I wish that I had done this 3 years ago when my ex first lost her feelings for me or demonstrated that she is a troubled girl incapable of living a good wholesome life due to emotional scars left from her upbringing. Had I known then when I know now, I would have spared a lot of anquish and the truth is that I would not have been so screwed up in the head now over it all. It was not the original situation that has destroyed me mentally which I am struggling to overcome but rather the real damage was caused in the two extra years I spend fighting a losing battle - being with her but it wrong, her being in control, me walking on eggshells knowing she could and would end it at any moment. Me doing all I could, paying, cooking, cleaning, treating, trying trying trying. All situations are different but the simple point of it 95% of the time never being able to recover from diminished feelings is pretty universal. It is just the stories and how they unfold that differ.
LoveUrselfFirst Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Grrr I'm so tempted to reply why must she play with my emotions like this Put that phone away from wherever you are sitting and charge it that way it's not close to you and you won't have the anxiety to reply to the text.
tc1968 Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 I do not know that I agree with badbrit entirely on his view of exes. Every relationship has a differant story behind it. I do believe that this girls fishing expedition is just an immature attempt to affirm that you are still on the hook. If she really cared she would not ask YOU to open your heart to her without opening hers first. If someone really cares and feels they made a mistake they do not "text" and ask you what you feel. They would tell you what THEY feel. Even then the motives should be in question and caution is the best step. Good Luck and do not reply to this nonsense.
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