crimsonrose Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Alright, I've been engaged for a year now. My fiance is 22, I'm 17. I know that seems strange, but theres a reason for engagement at a young age. Basically, I handle about every responsibility an adult does besides paying bills- and i'd do that too if I lived by myself. I help homeschool my younger brother, because as of late my mother starts teaching him late in the afternoon, after he's no longer really capable of learning (minds are freshest int he morning). I cook half the time and do half the cleaning around the house. My brother even refers to me as his second, more responsible mother. And my fiance is European, so girls marrying in their teens is hardly uncommon, because lets face it, people in other countries tend to mature faster than us Americans. Anyways, that being said, after I got home from visiting my fiance (who lives in australia) for 2 months, my mother was, well, not herself. Glaring at me without realizing it and telling me she was dreading me coming home cuz she knew i'd be depressed cuz I'd miss my fiance, and she hates how the house gets all sad when I'm sad. But not in an understanding way- in a more resentful tone. We all planned on me moving to my fiance (as in, to australia) when I turn 18 this july. But because I felt unwelcome in my own home, and given that my fiance and I pay for my tickets without their help, and handle all the visa crap on our own, again without my parents help, we decided to book my final tickets to move to him in June instead of July. I wanted to spend my 18th birthday with him, seeings as he had something planned and my parents did not- they never make a big deal out of birthdays, not since I was 8, at least. I felt badly afterwards. My mother's demeanor slowly changed (as in she was no long er treating me like crap, and was being sweet again) and I felt guilty for booking the tickets 3 weeks earlier without consulting her. I told her a few days ago, and she flipped out. She now says she wishes my fiance and I had never met, that she disapproves of him, that I shouldnt move because God says so (shes religious) and so on. Now, I'm at a loss. It's either I change the tickets to July, at the cost of 400 bucks and stay another 3 weeks with my upset and currently unreasonable mother, or I go ahead and go, as planned, in June. I am unsure if I am a horrid brat, or if anyone would have reacted the same way...
chimpy Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I recommend you leave your mother no earlier than when you turn 18. If you leave earlier, she could legally report you as a runaway, and knowing that you are with your fiance in Australia, she's got you pegged and he could get in trouble for kidnapping.
Author crimsonrose Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 I recommend you leave your mother no earlier than when you turn 18. If you leave earlier, she could legally report you as a runaway, and knowing that you are with your fiance in Australia, she's got you pegged and he could get in trouble for kidnapping. Mmm, according to my long, confusing hours of research, they can't because i told them where I'm going. And considering I turn 18 three weeks after I leave home, by the time they tried to get the police involved (which is a bit dramatic...) I'd be 18. They can't force me to go home if I'm at least 17. It's confusing. I don't want it to get to that point though
Sweet326 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 In Texas you're considered a legal adult at 17. Your mom is probably just feeling so many different emotions right now at the thought of losing you. Do what is in your heart, but try to leave and stay on good terms with your family. They will always be there, whereas a marriage has no guarantees. Good luck to you. You sound very mature with a good head on your shoulders. I'm sure you will make the right decision.
Author crimsonrose Posted March 27, 2009 Author Posted March 27, 2009 In Texas you're considered a legal adult at 17. Your mom is probably just feeling so many different emotions right now at the thought of losing you. Do what is in your heart, but try to leave and stay on good terms with your family. They will always be there, whereas a marriage has no guarantees. Good luck to you. You sound very mature with a good head on your shoulders. I'm sure you will make the right decision. I kept expecting flames, but everyone's helpful instead. lol. Thank you very much. I will do my best to leave on good terms.
rlindzie Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 go. and have a seperate party with your family b4 you leave.it is not an ideal situation but hell atleast she is letting you go! lol my mom would never in a million years let a 17yr old go to a diff. country to meet a guy she never meet. I mean that was a huge risk. just make sure you dont burn all your bridges bc you never know what could happen. Best of luck
Author crimsonrose Posted March 27, 2009 Author Posted March 27, 2009 Mmm, random update. My step father is now saying that he won't let me go, and that he'll call the airline and prevent em from boarding if I try. He also called the JOP wedding that my fiance and I HAVE to do for various reasons, a mockery to the real wedding we'll be having later. He said he won't attend the real wedding if we do a JOP. So... I suppose I'll have to wait until July when I turn 18. O well. Thank you so much for ya'lls advice though.
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