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DDay what happened when you called the wife about the affair?

MeaganRaye

By MeaganRaye
in The Other Man / Woman

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MeaganRaye Established Member

MeaganRaye

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What happened when you called the wife and told her about the affair?

 

or if she found out on her own, what happened in detail?

NoIDidn't Established Member

NoIDidn't

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No one has responded because no matter what we tell you happened, no one can predict what will happen in your case.

 

Are you thinking about telling the W? God help you.

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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If you're the OW and having an affair with her husband, you really don't have the right to spill the beans as you knew he was married from day one and chose to be in the affair.

 

Best thing for you (that is, if you are an OW) is to try to let go, move on and heal. Going out of your way to make someone else's life miserable either out of spite or if you feel she needs to know, isn't your place.

herenow Established Member

herenow

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Most disagree with me, but I always say please tell the wife. Tell her ASAP. Fact is, you will never know what will happen until you do it. So, do it now. She has the right to know what is happening in her life no matter how she finds out. If her H isn't going to tell her, I see nothing wrong with you telling her.

 

To those who say it's not the OW's place to tell the wife, I say, it's not the OW's place to have sex with her H either so the OW is already in a place that isn't hers.

Athena Established Member

Athena

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What happened when you called the wife and told her about the affair?

 

or if she found out on her own, what happened in detail?

 

Are you thinking she will throw his sorry a$$ out, and then YOU can have him?

 

Hmmm.... or perhaps she will be knocking on your door with a gun in her hand?

pparrott Established Member

pparrott

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If you are the OW...I'm curious...why would you even consider calling the wife? Either way I'd say your affair would definitely be over there & then.

He'd be pissed at you for ratting on him & like Athena said.....She may come & blow your brains out. She may pull an Amy Fisher on ya....then where would you be?

Perhaps you should elaborate a little on your situation.

herenow Established Member

herenow

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I get what you are all saying, but lets be clear. Amy Fisher was the OW and I think (please correct me if I'm wrong), but the are as many if not more cases where it's the OW that is violent towards the BW. I don't think the OP has intentions of getting all Glenn Close on the BW.

 

As a BW, I will answer the question from my POV. A MM may tell the OW that his wife cried and begged him to stay and he just can't leave his kids. Some may be telling the truth, but most are lying through their teeth.

 

I have had contact with many BW from LS. The stories are very similar: BW finds out that H is having an affair (really doesn't matter how she finds out). In most cases the BW kicks his sorry a** out the door. Most BW don't want to be married to a man who cheats. Again, in most cases, it's the MM who comes crying and begging for the BW to take him back. Some do work to keep the marriage together and some don't. But I'm sure the story that the OW is told is very different.

 

I still say tell her. The BW is the only one left in the dark. Why not enlighten her?

Athena Established Member

Athena

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I still say tell her. The BW is the only one left in the dark. Why not enlighten her?

 

She surely deserves to know. However, OP MeaganRaye hasn't given details on her position or her thoughts. This is all speculation on our part.

 

As a BW, I can vouch for my CH crying and begging not to be divorced... :mad:

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MeaganRaye Established Member

MeaganRaye

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I just want to know what is the typical reaction of the wife when the other woman calls her.

2sure Established Member

2sure

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Meagan - from your other posts it didnt sound like you were involved with any type of affair...unless you are concerned about your parents marriage?

 

Is there something happening in your life you want to find out more about or are you just curious?

bentnotbroken Established Member

bentnotbroken

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I just want to know what is the typical reaction of the wife when the other woman calls her.

 

 

There is no typical. What are you looking for. The responses of a few people on an anonymous board is a great sampling to make a decision on the "typical" reaction. If you are an OW, why worry what her reaction would be, it's a little late now. Don't you think???

 

Some women don't care, some women fight for their marriage, some people walk away(my personal favorite), some women get even, some women get violent. Take your pick, they are typical for the woman who is experiencing it at that time.

Athena Established Member

Athena

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I just want to know what is the typical reaction of the wife when the other woman calls her.

 

My reaction was she can have him! but then again, SHE didn't call and tell me, I found out about it and I told H he can pack his bags and go live with OW & her mother and eat her cooked cabbage n fishoil for the rest of his life!:lmao: (he hates Kimchi...)

NoIDidn't Established Member

NoIDidn't

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I just want to know what is the typical reaction of the wife when the other woman calls her.

 

Why don't you put the shoes on the other foot and see how you would feel in this situation?

 

I haven't had this happen to me, but I did the calling. And she was shocked to say the least. Shocked and then angry. Angry and then resigned. Resigned and then hoping to hurt me (back, as if I did anything more than calling her and busting her for her actions).

 

I think you should consider your own feelings to get an answer on what might happen.

  • 2 weeks later...
justice Established Member

justice

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I was the BW in my situation.

When I found out, I was incredibly hurt then a huge sense of rage took over for awhile. We tried to work it out, but I couldn't get over the trust issues and I kicked him to the curb, we are now divorced and have been for a long while.

The OW in my case? She was ruined, financially and emotionally. She lost her job, her home, her husband and her kids. My doing? No. Hers and hers alone for doing something that she knew was wrong and for pursuing it even after she was told by my former husband that it was over. Karma does tend to bite you in the butt.

herenow Established Member

herenow

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I was the BW in my situation.

When I found out, I was incredibly hurt then a huge sense of rage took over for awhile. We tried to work it out, but I couldn't get over the trust issues and I kicked him to the curb, we are now divorced and have been for a long while.

The OW in my case? She was ruined, financially and emotionally. She lost her job, her home, her husband and her kids. My doing? No. Hers and hers alone for doing something that she knew was wrong and for pursuing it even after she was told by my former husband that it was over. Karma does tend to bite you in the butt.

 

Yeah, Karma works both ways. I find when I wish bad things on others, bad things happen to me. So, I don't ever wish anything bad for others. I have never wished bad for the OW, her experiences in life are based on the choices she made for herself. I only wish the same for others that they wish for me. OW wished that she would be with my H, have his kids and live happily ever after and I would be the one left alone. Go figure.

ATJNL New Member

ATJNL

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I think you should tell the other woman...cuz they might just be you later same situtation. At least then she knows shes wasting her time. It seems us as women all want to feel wanted so go looking for it anywhere...because we dont get it from the ones that say they love us...I believe there is no true love....very few...lol

 

She could be very pleased because shes really known just not with who

Dexter Morgan Established Member

Dexter Morgan

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I just want to know what is the typical reaction of the wife when the other woman calls her.

 

I suppose the reactions will vary from devestation and disbelief to wanting to rip your throat out.

 

Are you considering telling? If so, why? What changed? It was ok to sleep with her husband for a time, but now maybe you want to rat the husband out?(and rightfully so).

 

Are you finding out that he isn't the wonderful man you thought? That should have been apparent when he was cheating on his wife with you.

 

But I agree that you should tell the wife. She deserves to know what a jackass she is married to and deserves the truth.

Tired03 Established Member

Tired03

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Uhhhh, I looked at the poster's history of posts and it isn't apparent that there is a real MM nor wife. Looks like she's just asking...out of curiosity...

Dexter Morgan Established Member

Dexter Morgan

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What happened when you called the wife and told her about the affair?

 

or if she found out on her own, what happened in detail?

 

Oh, and just read your post in another thread.

 

If you are thinking about contacting the wife....why? What do you care? You already said in another thread that you don't care about the wife and even though you would be boinking her husband, she is insignificant to you.

 

So you don't care about the wife....so why would you contact her?

 

Its not because you care about her and think she deserves to know, we already know that isn't true by your own words.

 

So there would be only two other reasons....1) to hurt the wife since you obviously could care less about her, or 2) to get back at a MM

 

I agree that a BS should know the truth and deserve it, and the MM needs to be ratted out.

 

But since you could care less about the W and family, why would you even contemplate contacting her. And if you are not contemplating contacting the W and simply want to know what her reaction was when someone else did contact the W.....what do you care?

Tired03 Established Member

Tired03

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Oh wait, did you find one Dex?

Dexter Morgan Established Member

Dexter Morgan

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Uhhhh, I looked at the poster's history of posts and it isn't apparent that there is a real MM nor wife. Looks like she's just asking...out of curiosity...

 

But she has many times over, according to her, been an OW and is proud of it.

 

And after also reading her history, as I asked above...why does she care?

 

She obviously doesn't care about the betrayed wives...so why would she care what their reaction should be?

 

I think she wants to get her rocks of and hopes that any OW that contacts the wife upset them.

herenow Established Member

herenow

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Good point Dex. It's clear she doesn't care about the "hypothetical" (or not) wife.

 

However, I don't care about the reason the OW tells the wife, I only care that the wife gets the information she needs to make the right choices for herself. So, I still say tell the wife and if there is a benefit to the OW then so be it. The benefit to the wife is so much more in the long run.

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