Gunny376 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Mark Twain once said there were three kinds of lies? Lies! Damn lies and Statistics. I've got six statistics classes under my belt from college, (I'm just naturally good at it for some reason?) and fully understand how statistics can be manipulated? I've even a book that tells you how to lie with statistics. With that said? Anne Kass - a retired District Judge of Albuquerque, New Mexico wrote: Statistics show that within three years of divorce, many people marry a second time. When I share this information with people in my court, many shake their heads and say, "Not me. I know better." But statistics tell us that second marriages occur more often than not. They also tell us that 70 percent of second marriages that involve stepchildren fail. They fail for a number of reasons. One is that there often are ongoing money problems from the first divorce. Another, more common cause of second marriages failing is that these new families' lives get so complicated. They often end up with "your" children, "my" children and "our" children. There are uncountable grandparents, step-grandparents, step-siblings and half-siblings. Trying to come up with a plan for how to share holidays and vacations is a major undertaking. Developing parenting styles and skills to avoid treating children and stepchildren differently is difficult. Often the incomes and standards of living in the various households differ significantly, which adds to the natural human tendency to compare. "Mom always liked you best" is more that a Smothers Brothers comedy routine. Maintaining human relationships is a hard task. As the number of relationships increases, the opportunities for conflict grow and the task of keeping the peace gets harder. I have observed a large number of second marriages fail. I have heard people going through second divorces say, "If I had only tried half as hard to make my first marriage work as I have to make this second marriage work, it could have survived." One man who was divorcing for the second time recently said of his first divorce: "I love my kids. I lost my home, and the problems my first wife and I had weren't much different from the problems my second wife and I have, except there weren't so many of them. If only there were some way to get people to realize all this without their having to experience it firsthand. I hope recent data showing a decline in divorce rates is an indication that some people can learn from others' mistakes. A marriage relationship is tough to sustain, and it doesn't get easier the second time around. I've also have read that while close to 50% of all first time marriages fail, only 13% of the remaining 50% claim to be happily married, the remaining 37% stay married because of finances, children, the status quo, religion, etc. The divorce rate for second and third marriages grows higher with each successive marriage. The divorce rate for men that marry prior to age 25 is 90%. The divorce rate for men that marry because the wife became pregnant? 95% The simple fact of the matter is that women don't need men as they did seventy years ago, and men don't need women as they did seventy years ago? Men have automatic washers, dryers, wrinkly free clothing, take-out, fast food, TV dinners, and microwaves. Women have the police, the military, national guard to protect them (and many their own handguns) to protect them. In today's economy many women are finding themselves to be the breadwinner, have an easier time finding a job ~ indeed even earn more money than the man. Many women find themselves working a full time job ~ only to come home to another full time job of cleaning the house, doing the laundry, cooking supper etc. A lot of this "walk-a-wife" (or husband) simply comes down to ~ "What do I need you for?"
LakesideDream Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Tell you what Guns. I learned how to cook after fifteen years married (of 25), it was wonderful. My then 10 old son and I opened books, and searched the infant internet for ideas, menu's and recepits and we were off to the races. No more overcooked, under effort food! We still let her do her "specialties" meat loaf, spaghetti (canned sauce) and baked chicken. I still like to wash dishes.. I have a brand new (16 month old now) dishwasher I've never turned on. It's just me, and I do em myself. Great way to keep the fingernails clean! I know how to use the washer and dryer, and keep in practice. I even know to put those "bounce" dryer sheets in... (for a couple of years I put them in the washer!). And... being in the desert I like to hang my shirts outside on a line I put up. Nicer than the dryer. I pick up a dust cloth once in a while. Keep the kitchen sanitary, the tile mopped, and the trash taken out. I hate doing the bathrooms, but I admit to being proud when they are done and nifty.... The moral of the story? If I ever marry, or even shack up again with a gal... it will be because I want her company, not to get the housework done !
Author Gunny376 Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 Tell you what Guns. I learned how to cook after fifteen years married (of 25), it was wonderful. My then 10 old son and I opened books, and searched the infant Internet for ideas, menu's and receipts and we were off to the races. No more overcooked, under effort food! We still let her do her "specialties" meat loaf, spaghetti (canned sauce) and baked chicken. I still like to wash dishes.. I have a brand new (16 month old now) dishwasher I've never turned on. It's just me, and I do em myself. Great way to keep the fingernails clean! I know how to use the washer and dryer, and keep in practice. I even know to put those "bounce" dryer sheets in... (for a couple of years I put them in the washer!). And... being in the desert I like to hang my shirts outside on a line I put up. Nicer than the dryer. I pick up a dust cloth once in a while. Keep the kitchen sanitary, the tile mopped, and the trash taken out. I hate doing the bathrooms, but I admit to being proud when they are done and nifty.... The moral of the story? If I ever marry, or even shack up again with a gal... it will be because I want her company, not to get the housework done ! Had to laugh! I bought two Rubbermaid dish tubs and rack! I wash all my dishes by hand and put them in the rack! Just like they taught us in the Corps with the immersion heaters ~ dunk three times! I've got a dishwasher, and if I use it at all ~ its as drying rack.
D-Lish Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I hated stats. I barely passed stats in Uni. 9 out of 10 Dentists recommend Colgate toothpaste. That never includes the grey areas. Like the fact that most dentists recommend brushing with ANY name brand toothpaste. I've been divorced 6 years now, never been close to getting married again. But I would if I met someone I loved enough. Just because women can take care of themselves financially and have achieved equality doesn't mean we don't want to fall in love with a man and engage in a relationship.
Author Gunny376 Posted March 26, 2009 Author Posted March 26, 2009 I hated stats. I barely passed stats in Uni. 9 out of 10 Dentists recommend Colgate toothpaste. That never includes the grey areas. Like the fact that most dentists recommend brushing with ANY name brand toothpaste. I've been divorced 6 years now, never been close to getting married again. But I would if I met someone I loved enough. Just because women can take care of themselves financially and have achieved equality doesn't mean we don't want to fall in love with a man and engage in a relationship. My exact point ~ men don't need women as they once did? And women don't need men as they once did! So lets forget this BS about a woman taking care of some man, and some man taking care of some woman and get down to us taking care of one another! As in as Janis Joplin once sang about ~ "One Man ~ taking care of one woman! And one woman taking care of one man!"
Justanotherschmuck Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Have you ever noticed that all (99%) of the posts here are all about what was done to ME, what I need, what I deserve, why divorce is right, MY hapiness................................. I'd love to read, a few times, "my spouse and I fight all the time. Maybe I'm not doing what I am should to make this better, what if...." Heavens no, that would be selling out, old fashioned, out of date, brainwashed by "emotional abuse"..... Thats all I asked on another web site. Got me nowhere. No wonder I've become a misanthrope.
Recommended Posts