hotgelato Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I had a wonderful first date with this guy. I mean, we really hit it off and everything was really fun BUT He didn't hug me when we first met up. Neither did he try to give me a hug when we said goodbyes. I even paused for two seconds so he could move in. but he didnt! He texted right next morning saying he would like to see me again. So, im just wondering, is he being careful? or just see me with friends vibe?
yeex Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Don't overanalyze the first date. Different people move at different paces. He let you know he wanted to see you again which is the most important. See what happens on the second date. Besides, wouldn't you rather this be the situation as opposed to him hugging you and then never hearing from him again?
BobSacamento Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I did that to someone recently. Maybe it was you! My intentions were to not scare you off considering it was a first meeting.
monkey00 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I think if he texted you that's good. Not everyone is aware of normal social interactions such as hugs. He probably moves at a different pace or doesn't have much dating experience.
somedude81 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Why didn't you move in to to initiate the hug? He must have been waiting for a signal of some sort. Also some guys are just not used to hugging girls. It took me until I was 26 till I was comfortable enough to hug my lady friends. Here is a question. At what point is it appropriate to hug somebody? Is it based on the situation, how long you've known each other, your relationship?
chimpy Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 For him to tell you he wants to see you again blows everything else out of the water. Nobody says that unprovoked without meaning it.
St. Nick Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Do you have big boobs? If you had big boobs then he would most likely not hesitate to hug you and get a chance to squeeze up against them. LOL j/k I'm in a good mood today. Everybody should be in a good mood today.
socialight Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 >>So, im just wondering, is he being careful? or just see me with friends vibe? I absolutely would not read anything into whether he hugged you on the first date. The fact that he texted the next day is a very good sign.
Stockalone Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I had a wonderful first date with this guy. I mean, we really hit it off and everything was really fun BUT He didn't hug me when we first met up. Neither did he try to give me a hug when we said goodbyes. I even paused for two seconds so he could move in. but he didnt! He texted right next morning saying he would like to see me again. So, im just wondering, is he being careful? or just see me with friends vibe? Reading this thread, I guess I am really weird. I usually don't hug people. If I can avoid it, I will and rather shake hands. I don't even hug family members. The only people I hugged were an old army buddy that I hadn't seen in years, ex-gf's and a female acquaintance because she insists on it. And a date is basically a stranger, I need some time to get comfortable around people I don't know.
Chicago_Guy Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 He texted right next morning saying he would like to see me again. So, im just wondering, is he being careful? or just see me with friends vibe? I really don't understand why women think a guy isn't interested if he doesn't kiss them or hug them on the first date. If the guy is paying for the date, he is interested. Men do not pay to take women they just met out if they only want to be friends with such women. If he didn't hug or kiss you, it is probably because he isn't sure that you want him to do so. Maybe he thinks that you don't like him that much? Some women are very difficult to read.
Treasa Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I'm not a huge hugger when I first meet up with someone.
Author hotgelato Posted March 29, 2009 Author Posted March 29, 2009 Update* After the first date, I went to see him at his work (No, I didn't just barge in, he invited me to come see him because he's a dentist and I really had some painful toothache). He greeted me with his hand on my back and just a half-hug..... it was alright.. better than non-contact. He saw my teeth and gave me antibiotics for my infection. Apparently, he had to hold everyone at work so that he could see me after hours. I thanked him and he said I owe him dinner. So today I bought him dinner lol. So....we met for a third time today for dinner. it was short and quick because he has an important exam tomorrow. And he came from a tournament with his sweat pants and tired look. I guess I am being too anal about this but he didn't give me a hug today! I want to say, maybe its cuz he played sports all day and didnt take a shower yet...but still... i don't get this pace. Does he see me as just a patient? I really don't know.... I've never had anyone have no contact after THIRD date...*sigh* I guess it could be his strategy- hard to get-.
Author hotgelato Posted March 29, 2009 Author Posted March 29, 2009 He does want to see me again for my teeth. See if I can sit for him as a patient on his board exam. Also, I made up an excuse that he should come see me at work for a checkup. (I do some other health-related work). He agreed and it's like we are making excuses to see each other again. Butagain still, no hug yet! Should I give him another chance on the real third date?
bobdole Posted March 29, 2009 Posted March 29, 2009 Ask him Give him a sweet smile and in a coy voice say "So.... Why haven't you given me a real hug yet?" He'll probably reply something to the effect of So many women are fickle about such things and is playing it safe. That you may dislike having personal contact so soon. At that insist he hug you.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 29, 2009 Posted March 29, 2009 My BF is a little shy and I guess I can be a little more assertive. On our first date meeting in person, I basically grabbed him into a hug at my front door. LOL I also touched him on the back when he was crouched down taking off his shoes and I wanted to walk behind him. That was the ONLY touching the whole date. It wasn't that he didn't want to - he was just shy. So your date could just be a shy one. How about you try some touching and see how he reacts?
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