Untouchable_Fire Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I am willing to reconsider whether to contact his wife if anyone can convince me she "deserves to know", should not be forced to "live as a fool", and that I have a moral obligation to be the one to tell her. The harm he did to our marriage is not irrepairable. We will make it. As sometimes happens, our marriage now is strong, stronger than it ever was before. I don't think we should try to convince you of anything. If you really put yourself in her shoes, then you will make the right choice. It's up to you. I have a much better topic. Your wife seems like a Psycho... Why are you so desperate to make this work? Why are you willing to sacrifice your dignity for someone who CLEARLY cares little for you? What are you afraid of?
princessjay76 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 You're never going to get a fair answer to this question because everyone here answering (including myself) are all just going to tell you what WE would feel, not what's right. As you can tell from most of the responses. Only you can decided what is right for you. And the best thing is to go with your gut. If when you think about informing this women, you don't feel nauseous or like you are ruining anyone's life (and I'm not saying you should feel like this), then it's the right decision. But if you have any doubt then maybe your gut is telling you to leave this alone and just take the issue out on your wife. It's not like this guys wife set you up to be screwed over. She is just another victim. For the record, I would never want to be told by some stranger that my husband betrayed me. But that's just my feelings and everyone deserves to have their feeling respected.
LakesideDream Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Gotta disagree. This woman has the right to the truth. And, the Om deserves a consequence. Age has nothing to do with it. so,the guy skates on this? No way. In a perfect world I agree, the OM's wife diserves to know. But the world isn't perfect and there are few "deserves". The couple are at an age where the knowledge could literally be fatal for one, the other, or both. They rely on each other in ways a younger person cannot understand ... yet. In a perfect world we would know the OM's wifes thoughts on the subject ahead of time. Be able to gauge the reactions she may have before making the disclosure. We cannot do that. What we can do is mind our own business and leave the past behind us... 17 years behind us. Obviously the elder couple have a "system" that works for them in their last years. Let them play their lives out the way they have planned it. Tattling, all these years after the fact can do absolutely no good.
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