ttsgirl Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 My husband and I have a very healthy marriage. The sex on the other hand...well with a one year old crying and a nine year old waking up through the night...it has kind of dampened our opportunities! We openend up and talked about it and we agreed to spice it up a bit and to find time for each other. The problem came when he asked me about the things I wanted. At first I gave the same old reply...no kids and lots of foreplay. Hahaha. He knows me better than that so he said that he was willing to do anything if I just opened up to him and told him. Well, I let some fantasies slip. Thank God I shut up before I let my wild side hit the roof! Although thinking about certain things is a definite turn on for me, I am wondering about his intentions of putting my thoughts into reality! We have already did the threesome thing a few times and God knows we probably could have bought a strip club by now but I don't want that to become a constant in our lives. Special occasions but not all the time! He is willing to make it all come true but I don't know if I want it all to come true. Some things yeah, but I'd like to leave a little room for my imagination too! So I guess my question is for the adventurous folks....how much fantasy are you comfortable making reality? And are you worried that if you tried it all that you will run out of things to try? And will it hinder your ability to be satisfied with one on one action? I love my husband and I know he loves me too....but letting him get a glimpse of my mind is like letting a kid loose in a candy store! LOL!!
whichwayisup Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Don't do threesome's..It's a fun fantasy but leave it at that. Watch porn together.. Go out and dress up really sexy - Sit at the bar and let your husband pick you up, and go make out in the car, stuff like that.. Involving someone else in your marriage is just asking for trouble UNLESS both you and your husband set up rules and boundries and are 100% sure it's something you want to explore. Too many people have tried this and it's ended up in disaster..Do a site search here on 3-somes, read up on it.. You can bring passion and fun into your sex life without someone else.
Author ttsgirl Posted March 25, 2009 Author Posted March 25, 2009 We already done that. A few times. It hasn't hurt our marriage in the least...except maybe open pandora's box to exploration! Hahahaha!!!
pyroguy Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 But, You haven't said what you had in mind. What is it exactly?
Heroic Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 OK, here is where you need to be careful.... Often times a guy will latch on to a small detail in something you say and use it as a grand gesture. If your talking fantasies and he desides this is what you REALLY want, you may show up home one day with four rodeo clowns, a tarp full of crisco and bill from the sex toy store to match the national debt. So start out with small things, see if they work out, if so then work your way up the list. My wife has a list of fantasies. We often talk about them in foreplay and about once or twice a month I'll kick the heat up a bit and indulge her fantasies a bit. It's good to have options to explore. On the other hand dont do anything that will endanger your marriage...keep your super wild fantasies to yourself and work up to them...You will hit a wall where you both reach the edge of your comfort limit and then its time to stop. Hey, my fantasy has always been to have a harem.....I don't think that one's in the cards for me....
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 If your talking fantasies and he desides this is what you REALLY want, you may show up home one day with four rodeo clowns, a tarp full of crisco and bill from the sex toy store to match the national debt. (gasp) Heroic, have you been reading my diary???????? They were circus clowns, though. OP: Hmmm...my DH and I (way back when we were experimental!) both had some pretty heavy fantasies. Collars and leashes and that sort of stuff. I don't know...some of them were great when we tried them. Others made us giggle. I think as long as nobody's getting hurt, you can try some of your fantasies and if you don't end up actually liking them all that much, well then, it's probably a learning experience!
Lizzie60 Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 This is a hard one.. So I guess my question is for the adventurous folks....how much fantasy are you comfortable making reality? When I was in a relationship, none of my 'exes' were that adventurous.. ... I guess it all depends on each couple.. And are you worried that if you tried it all that you will run out of things to try? That could be a danger.. but then.. you can find something that will get you going for years.. who knows.. And will it hinder your ability to be satisfied with one on one action? This is where I think it could get dangerous.. maybe one of the partner will want more than the other.. or different fantasies.. or fall for a new partner.. million things can happen. But, from what I read, you don't seem to trust your partner enough to share your fantasies.. strange because you seem like quite an 'open' couple. But, sometimes, fantasies are better left as fantasies.. and truths are not always good to tell..
Heroic Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 Well I for one am wondering how freaky things have gotten....hehe
mental_traveller Posted April 5, 2009 Posted April 5, 2009 Simple way to find out: Get drunk and horny, then write down all your fantasies. Then wait until you are doing some mundane chore and are totally sober & level-headed, and write down which things you are definitely sure you'd want to be part of your real life. The ones that turn up in the second exercise are the ones you should try, and the ones that only appear in the first scenario are ones you should just keep as fantasies - it's ok to talk about them in bed to make things hotter, but don't actually implement them. Basic rule of thumb is if something makes you at all comfortable, don't do it. As for opening up things you actually really want to do, I say go for it. Honesty is the best policy and you will be surprised how accommodating someone can be if they actually love or really like you. Keeping things secret makes you miserable and you miss out on all the fun you could have by doing them.
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