Tryng2Trust08 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 So...it had been about 2 months since we have been broken up. And as u guys know we have kept in contact, some fighting, trying to be friends, etc...but we have not seen each other. The last couple texting conversations we normal and fine, joking around, etc...I am finally feeling closure and decided to move on, I have been happy and not dwelling on him FINALLY! I still think of him frequently though. We havent texted for maybe like 2 days now...and I get a text from him a little bit ago saying something, nothing to do with me and him, just a statement. He is having a hard time with work. I havent responded to him yet, im not sure if I should. I do miss him and our friendship more than anything, but I feel like I cant wait around for him to make the changes necessary and for now I need to move on and he has given me no inclination of making the changes. I'm at the point where I have forgiven him, and I dont hold a grudge. But after getting his text I feel like I need to be there for him as a friend.....any suggestions?
LoveUrselfFirst Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 You don't HAVE to be there for him, but it's honestly up to you. Maybe he likes the fact that you are available to comfort him, which isn't a bad thing as friends (which is hard to go from a relationship to friends...it usually goes from bad to worse). I know that I would be confused about everything but do what you feel you would do without having any regrets. We only have one life, right?
Author Tryng2Trust08 Posted March 25, 2009 Author Posted March 25, 2009 Yeah....thats why Im torn, I still havent responded. I know I can't be friends with him, I still have feelings for him and miss him a lot. I just really dont think he would make the changes he needed to make and I cant put up with some of his stuff. I dont want him to think Im going to be there for whatever he needs and when he needs to talk to a friend. Im not going to be taken for granted. Hm...I dont know what Im gonna do.
LoveUrselfFirst Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Hun I understand...I went with NC until my ex decided to call me and play dumb so I let him have it after a few days until he couldn't take it and apologized. and where are we today.....not talking. He didn't try hard enough and would call and talk about his problems until I was like you know what, I can't be cordial and act like you and I are fine because we aren't and you can't call me whenever it's convenient. And thankfully his new phone plan did not contain texting. He still occasionally passes by to say hi at work, but I just told him to stop trying. Every situation is different, yes I know, but we as women or as kind-hearted people need to stop letting people try to stomp all over us. If you feel the need to not reply to him, than don't...as long as you are getting stronger.
Flying Burrito Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Yeah....thats why Im torn, I still havent responded. I know I can't be friends with him, I still have feelings for him and miss him a lot. I just really dont think he would make the changes he needed to make and I cant put up with some of his stuff. I dont want him to think Im going to be there for whatever he needs and when he needs to talk to a friend. Im not going to be taken for granted. Hm...I dont know what Im gonna do.Don't be torn up about it. What is he? 4? Poor boy had a hard day? If you want to contact him, your choice. Maybe it's his excuse for an easy in with you. Just remember, you are not his emotional toilet. If you feel like you truly have to help someone else other than you, volunteer to feed the homeless for a day. It's win-win.
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