CORyan Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Hello everyone, First time here. I've been in a relationship with my wife since Aug 2002, got married Aug 10th of 07. Everything went down hill after that. Been separated and living apart for five months. Those five months were the hardest months of my life. We agreed to separate for the sole fact that we had lost the ability to understand the language that each of us spoke. I grew blind to seeing and hearing what she was asking for because I honestlly had no clue and the same went for her in many ways. We grew to understand only one thing. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all. I tried so hard on the things that I "thought" was showing love to her and that was set in stone in my eyes. Anything additional I thought she was picking on me for asking me to do anything from simple things to big things, I could not see what she was asking but it was indeed a cry for me to show her love by doing the things that were important to her also in addition to the things that I was doing. After we agreed to separate, it was very hard for me to let go, not calling, seeing her or her family that I grew to love and call my own. Eventually I got into counseling on my own because I knew that I needed to focus on myself and let her do the same. The counseling went very well, it was nice just to have someone to talk to outside my world. I figured during all this, as much as separation hurt, it was the best thing we could have done to step back and figure out what the heck is going on, with not only the marriage but us individually. I understood that things may not come back together and I had to get ready for that. She called me about three weeks ago, mind you I had not spoken to her in 3-4 months at all. At first the conversation was very...umm uneasy? But after about twenty minutes things slowly got better and better. By the second hour we were laughing about the good/funny and crazy times we had over the last several years and it was amazing. That night I slept like I had not slept in years and it was great. The next day once I got into work, I was surprised to have two one page e-mails from her, talking about herself and our relationship/marriage and it brought happy tears to my eyes. She asked me if I would be willing to read a couple of books she was thinking about getting and I said of course. She knows I hate to read, I could never sit down and read a book even though I really wanted too. We met up the following weekend for coffee and she gave me the book. I looked at her and looked at the book and said I will read this book from the beginning to the end. Took the book home, got past the first page and I was hooked, I could not put it down. Anyways, since reading the book I have a waaaaaaaaaay new outlook/understanding on everything. We have been talking regulary, "not rushing" and I must say that I am commitied to this marriage and my wife and will give it my all. I told her that I am commitied to this and she told me the same. - Ryan Idaho Springs, Colorado
boldjack Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Well, good job, Dude!!! If both of you work on it I don't see why this couldn't be the start of a "new" and more exciting marriage. Best of Luck!!!
era Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I must say that I am commitied to this marriage and my wife and will give it my all. I told her that I am commitied to this and she told me the same. Yes...Sharing the same level of commitment in the marriage ...I've always believed that to be important.
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