carhill Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 I've actually dated bald guys and fat guys... No problem. LOL, as I get ready to shave my head again Interesting now, approaching middle age, women are expressing completely different perspectives about such matters. Life is an interesting journey. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 Don't forget that men have external barometers, that rise and fall based on being more or less turned on. Just don't sleep with a guy who's not that into you or prioritizes looks, and you'll be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 Right, I was thinking the same thing. That said, as I pointed out in another thread, it's the guys which tend to rile women up, here and in real life, who get all the attention. Negative behavior, rewarded, is reinforced, even if by a minority of women. A better tactic would just be to ignore such people, or "disconnect" their existence, as I do. Very peaceful Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 I think it's unrealistic to deny that the other partner notices flaws, at least when you hit a certain age. I'm 46, and wear size 32 jeans. My wife is 44, and pretty petite (and hot!). So, we're doing pretty good factoring in our ages, but the fact is that neither one of us is going to get underwear-modeling jobs any time soon. I may notice my wife's physical "flaws", and my wife would have to be blind not to notice mine, but it's a matter of perspective. Her flaws, while I might notice them, don't matter to me at all. I don't find them off-putting, and in fact I feel kind of affectionate about them. Especially when I remember that most of them got there while bearing our kids. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkKittyKat Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 LOL, as I get ready to shave my head again Interesting now, approaching middle age, women are expressing completely different perspectives about such matters. Life is an interesting journey. Aww, sorry carhill, I only said "actually" because the person I was replying to implied that if my fiancé were to lose his hair and gain 100lbs that I would somehow be revolted. *hugs* Bald really is beautiful!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 I didn't realize Carhill was fat. Link to post Share on other sites
climbergirl Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 I think it's unrealistic to deny that the other partner notices flaws, at least when you hit a certain age. I'm 46, and wear size 32 jeans. My wife is 44, and pretty petite (and hot!). So, we're doing pretty good factoring in our ages, but the fact is that neither one of us is going to get underwear-modeling jobs any time soon. I may notice my wife's physical "flaws", and my wife would have to be blind not to notice mine, but it's a matter of perspective. Her flaws, while I might notice them, don't matter to me at all. I don't find them off-putting, and in fact I feel kind of affectionate about them. Especially when I remember that most of them got there while bearing our kids. Well put. On my first date, we got into a discussion about flaws (well, cosmetic surgery). He said to me, "You may have flaws-HELL I know I have flaws! But who cares, just be who you are". I thought that was a really cool attitude. And exactly the kind of person you want to get naked with. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedGirl Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 To me how confident I am about getting naked depends on the guy I am dating. If he is a six pack abs gym junkie I might feel like if he is putting that much effort into his own body he will be ultra critical of mine. If he has an average body or is one of those skinny geeks with no muscle then I am comfortable Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 I didn't realize Carhill was fat. Well, not obese, but a solid 30 lbs over my normal healthy weight (I weigh 225). Too much linguine and clam sauce That reality is balanced by a preference for women with "curves", which has been a lifelong preference. That said, looking back on history, I can say that there has been no defined cultural or physical "type". Height, weight, hair color, physique have overwhelmingly been different. I think, whereas the typical male bonds through physical cues and sex, I tend to bond through emotional cues and intellectual and spiritual commonalities. That might explain the diversity as well as my earlier post in this thread about how I "view" women when they're nude. One datapoint Link to post Share on other sites
mr.dream merchant Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Vin Diesel is sexy for a bald guy no? What about that Jason Statham guy from Crank? Link to post Share on other sites
Loxx Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 First thing i notice is how made up her hair is. Then i think to myself... How messed up can we get it. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Loxx, funny. Jersey Shortie what's the deal? What upsets you about this post? Because I find that men place alot of judgment on women's looks. I'm not saying that in itself is wrong. That's not what bothers me so much. But what I think is wrong are the completely unrealistic expectations about women that I do think many men have today due to be so saturated with ideals about women's bodies. Hearing men say stuff like "well I tolerate it", or " I notice it but she is such a good mother it's okay". It's kind of insulting. Then they probably go on to eye 20 year olds or porn. So their SOs have these flaws and maybe men really do tolerate them or okay with it. But it's their unrealistic expecations that we are getting measured up against and the fact that men still seek out perfect bodied looking women to get off too that sends a conflicting message. No woman wants to be "tolerated" or wants her imperfection to be "okay" because she is a "good mother". That goes a long way from making a woman feel like a woman . It's like men are more ready to make other women feel good and acknowledge their beauty but with their own women its like "well she has *this*, but I over look it, aren't I a great boyfriend. But man look at that 20 year old! Wow! She is so beautiful!" As a woman your like "WTF". How many guys actually feel that way about their own women? And get all excited and eyes lighting up for her instead of telling us well "yeah she has that but it's okay she cooks me eggs in the morning." Heck, I like guys with large noses.... one of my exes had a big nose and girl friends would make comments about it... To me, it was a BONUS, not a flaw at all. But they were certain I was "looking past it for love", since that's what THEY would be doing. I have never heard another female say that and I really like big noses too. I thought it was only me. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 The key phrase is that 90% do develop it because that's what most women's bodies are like .... The key phrases for cellulite in this thread are "first time you see a woman naked" and "at some point in their lives". I seldom see cellulite on anyone under 30 who is remotely in any sort of decent physical condition. I'm sorry if that upsets you but it is what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
mr.dream merchant Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Certainly if you look at it like that it will upset you Jersey. But I doubt that all guys truely feel like that. They just worded it wrong. To me, its like this. If I notice some cellulite or another unattractive object on my GF's body, while yeah in itself its unattractive, because she's my GF and I have alot of love for her, I look past it. My GF had a gut a couple months into our relationship. Of course it was unattractive and I wished it to be flatter, but it never really turned me off from her. It was just something that would turn me off, but not with her because of the feelings I have for her. I hope that makes sense. Its not like "Damn my GF is an ugly bish but since she does x,y, and z for me its all good." Not like that at all. Its more of a "Hmm that such and such is there, and yeah its unattrative, but its my GF, and I care for her alot, so much that I'd look past any amount of unattractiveness because I'm so emotionally attached to her that the physical turns me on less than the emotional" Something like that. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkKittyKat Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 The key phrases for cellulite in this thread are "first time you see a woman naked" and "at some point in their lives". I seldom see cellulite on anyone under 30 who is remotely in any sort of decent physical condition. I'm sorry if that upsets you but it is what it is. Uh, what?? I've had friends that were in great shape and had cellulite at 18. I'm talking gym, jogging, ate right...and they'd NEVER been overweight so we aren't talking residual leftover cellulite from being fat. I have been in change rooms with fellow naked girls since I was 14. And believe me, many girls/women have cellulite. Maybe it's just more apparent in the horrendously unflattering fluorescent light? God knows, my own legs look lumpy in change room lighting, and miraculously lose it the minute I step out into natural light. I have never been fat, and I'm one of the skinniest of my group of friends. I keep in shape since I dance twice a week. And yeah, even my 24 year old BALLET instructor, the lankiest most in-shape woman I know, has cellulite. More women have cellulite than you may realize. My mom is insanely in shape and has little body fat, her legs are GORGEOUS, but if you squeeze her thigh? It ripples up from the way female fat is constructed. There's no way around it, I'm afraid. Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 More women have cellulite than you may realize. My mom is insanely in shape and has little body fat, her legs are GORGEOUS, but if you squeeze her thigh? It ripples up from the way female fat is constructed. There's no way around it, I'm afraid. Clearly he hasn't been with that many women so really, not worth the energy.. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkKittyKat Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Clearly he hasn't been with that many women so really, not worth the energy.. Yeah, perhaps he thinks the women in ads and magazine just have naturally cellulite free legs and haven't been airbrushed into plastic smoothness. :rolleyes::rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Certainly if you look at it like that it will upset you Jersey. But I doubt that all guys truely feel like that. They just worded it wrong. To me, its like this. If I notice some cellulite or another unattractive object on my GF's body, while yeah in itself its unattractive, because she's my GF and I have alot of love for her, I look past it. My GF had a gut a couple months into our relationship. Of course it was unattractive and I wished it to be flatter, but it never really turned me off from her. It was just something that would turn me off, but not with her because of the feelings I have for her. I hope that makes sense. Its not like "Damn my GF is an ugly bish but since she does x,y, and z for me its all good." Not like that at all. Its more of a "Hmm that such and such is there, and yeah its unattrative, but its my GF, and I care for her alot, so much that I'd look past any amount of unattractiveness because I'm so emotionally attached to her that the physical turns me on less than the emotional" Something like that. Well that is exactly my point. You tolerate certain parts of her body because you think she is a good person. (I never said men think their partner's are ugly bishes). That's exactly what my post said and your first line was "men don't think like that" but went on to show me they do. Women don't measure up to the kind of women men really want, flawless looking women. Then we are the ones that get "tolerated" for our "flaws" instead of celebrated. Meanwhile alot of men will turn around and drool or give positive comments to a women they don't even know, about their looks, way before they do so for their own girlfriends and wives. So when a man says stuff like " I look *past* her cellulite because I love her", is he really looking past it? Or is he judging her for it because his perception of what a woman's body should be is unrealistic and thinking he is "settling" while he dreams about airbrushed women in magazines? Do you have any idea how it feels to watch men's eyes light up and comment and get excited about a hot girl they see on the street or in a picture and then turn around and tell their SO they "tolerate" their imperfectoins because they are a "good person". It's better to be the fantasy woman then the real one. The key phrases for cellulite in this thread are "first time you see a woman naked" and "at some point in their lives". I seldom see cellulite on anyone under 30 who is remotely in any sort of decent physical condition. I'm sorry if that upsets you but it is what it is. Clv, try reading the facts. I could care less about what you do or don't do. Fact: 90% or women have it after puberty. Fact. Not fiction. Being over weight can make it more apparent. But women, are naturally more fatty then men. Again, fact. Not fiction. Any doctor will tell you this. You want to try and fight it all you want. But every else here can read the facts while you live in your bubble and negative thoughts about women. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkKittyKat Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Hayden Panettiere for example. She's 20. I've seen three different "Fittest Bodies in Hollywood" articles, and all of them had her on the cover. An official photoshoot. Shiny, perfect, slim..... A candid bikini shot. Okay, not as shiny plastic-perfect as the magazine shot, but still pretty good, huh? SHE HAS CELLULITE! She's 20, thin, in shape(she hits the gym with Kristen Bell all the time!) and many men would say she doesn't have any at all. She does, and it isn't a flaw, it's just how lady-fat IS. Some people have MORE of it, more visibly, but that has nothing to do with in-shape or not. Hell, look at Mischa Barton. For whatever genetic reason, despite her thin in-shapeness, her cellulite is INSANELY visible. Here's young Victoria Secret model, Karolina Kurkova, age 25. Professional photoshoot. http://i221.photobucket.com/albums/dd52/lamok_fkm15/Karolina_Kurkova.jpg HER BUM! Nothing wrong with it. Especially considering she's about 15 lbs lighter than is healthy anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Allow me to amend myself. Visible cellulite is gross. Obviously invisible anything is well, invisible. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Clv, try reading the facts. I could care less about what you do or don't do. Fact: 90% or women have it after puberty. Show me that fact. All anyone has shown so far is that 90% have it at some point in their lives which is not that same thing. Maybe it's because I tend to prefer younger and generally darker women? All I know for sure is that cottage cheese ass is gross. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkKittyKat Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Allow me to amend myself. Visible cellulite is gross. Obviously invisible anything is well, invisible. So Hayden Panettiere and Karolina Kurkova are gross? Sh|t, with these kind of standards every woman on the planet must be disgusting. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 So Hayden Panettiere and Karolina Kurkova are gross? I think this is highlighting a fundamental mismatch in the way men and women perceive things. That little spot on the back of her legs looks nasty in the wrong light. It doesn't follow that she's gross. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkKittyKat Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 I think this is highlighting a fundamental mismatch in the way men and women perceive things. That little spot on the back of her legs looks nasty in the wrong light. It doesn't follow that she's gross. Um, you insisted that anyone under 30 who is in ANY sort of shape does not have ANY visible cellulite, or hasn't developed it yet. So you only think the girls' asses are "gross" when they are not airbrushed and they are simply standing around? You do realize that is what their butts actually look like? If you were naked, in the room, doing her from behind, the ripply butt is her butt. When you say "Ew, cellulite is gross" you're pretty much referring to all women past puberty, and that's why so many women get ticked at you in this thread. It's not a flaw if everyone has it and it's normal. Show me that fact. All anyone has shown so far is that 90% have it at some point in their lives which is not that same thing. Maybe it's because I tend to prefer younger and generally darker women? All I know for sure is that cottage cheese ass is gross. I showed you. The key phrases for cellulite in this thread are "first time you see a woman naked" and "at some point in their lives". I seldom see cellulite on anyone under 30 who is remotely in any sort of decent physical condition. I'm sorry if that upsets you but it is what it is. Whether or not it "upsets" anyone is irrelevant, since you have some really strange ideas about cellulite. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Um, you insisted that anyone under 30 who is in ANY sort of shape does not have ANY visible cellulite, or hasn't developed it yet. I don't watch ... whatever it is this woman is famous for, but she doesn't look to be in top shape, although she is pretty. So you only think the girls' asses are "gross" when they are not airbrushed and they are simply standing around? You do realize that is what their butts actually look like? If you were naked, in the room, doing her from behind, the ripply butt is her butt. None of the girls I currently date look like that, maybe I'm just lucky. When you say "Ew, cellulite is gross" you're pretty much referring to all women past puberty, and that's why so many women get ticked at you in this thread. It's not a flaw if everyone has it and it's normal. I showed you. So this 20 year old celebrity is a statistically valid sample of the population in your opinion? Does that mean that if she hates red cars and is allergic to peanuts then all women share those characteristics as well? Whether or not it "upsets" anyone is irrelevant, since you have some really strange ideas about cellulite. Again, 'invisible' anything is ... invisible. It's only nasty if it's visible. Link to post Share on other sites
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