Trialbyfire Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Though casual isn't my thing, there are plenty of people who compartmentalize and are still pretty tolerant of a wide variety of physiques. I also don't agree that exposure to diversity is necessarily an indication of a short attention span. For example, playing a numbers game with dating, while not necessarily wise, could lead to finding that one lovably imperfect person. I'd be shocked if anyone could bond and remain satisfied, after banging hookers and sleeping with hundreds of people. Link to post Share on other sites
Die Hard Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Okay, point well taken. I still get a little upset with some of the posters here though. That is because you keep leaving out chunks of from my comments.I'll include everything this time. Sorry about that I guess but I just grab quotes that seem to make me want to post. You think you find men harsh here?? What about all the comments you read regarding penis size? Women have opinions on this and have posted at length:D in the past about it. You think that's not shallow and judgmental? I've become just as disillusioned by women on this board as you have by men. They come across as judgmental, cold and mean sometimes. With all the mommas boys talk, whether we seem weak because we are too vulnerable, or cold because we're not vulnerable enough. You girls, IMO, have such high expectations of men we could NEVER measure up in your eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
mr.dream merchant Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I'll include everything this time. Sorry about that I guess but I just grab quotes that seem to make me want to post. You think you find men harsh here?? What about all the comments you read regarding penis size? Women have opinions on this and have posted at length:D in the past about it. You think that's not shallow and judgmental? I've become just as disillusioned by women on this board as you have by men. They come across as judgmental, cold and mean sometimes. With all the mommas boys talk, whether we seem weak because we are too vulnerable, or cold because we're not vulnerable enough. You girls, IMO, have such high expectations of men we could NEVER measure up in your eyes. The worst is when they say they want a man. What is a man? Men come in all shapes, forms and sizes. Its as stereotypical as me telling you I want a real woman. What is a real woman? What you want doesn't define that sex, it defines what YOU want. The gender man wasn't based off of one specific female's needs. Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I'd be shocked if anyone could bond and remain satisfied, after banging hookers and sleeping with hundreds of people. I'm talking more in terms of the middle of the bell curve here, definitely not in the hundreds. One doesn't have to sleep with just five people to be able to accept one person as the perfect match for them. As I said, the numbers game isn't one I want to play personally, but it works for some. Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Jeez, people, This whole idea of "flaws" is total bull****!! There are "differences", but NOT "flaws". If you believe that a person can have PHysical "flaws" or "mistakes", then you HAVE to believe that somewhere out there, there is a woman or man, who is PHYsically perfect. Get a clue, there is no such thing as perfection. To use the cuisine metaphor, I like steak, my wife doesn't like red meat, so her idea of a perfect meal would be vastly different from mine. The idea of perfection is completely subjective and totally opinion. I have been with many women and I've never compared them (qualitatively) sometimes (quantitatively). Like, x has bigger breasts than y, not x has BETTER breasts than y. Try looking at ALL women or men as individuals, not as commodities. Link to post Share on other sites
sand26 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I'd be shocked if anyone could bond and remain satisfied, after banging hookers and sleeping with hundreds of people. You would be shocked? Why? I know many people who had roaring dating lives until they met someone who was a good partner; including my sister who is now eight years married. I assume you have not had many partners, which is fine, but what qualifies you to understand someone's emotional abilities who has been more promiscuous? I just don't understand, please explain. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I'm talking more in terms of the middle of the bell curve here, definitely not in the hundreds. One doesn't have to sleep with just five people to be able to accept one person as the perfect match for them. As I said, the numbers game isn't one I want to play personally, but it works for some. If you go back to my previous posts in this thread, you'll find my entire perspective on body judgment, theories and views on sex as an act/superficial attraction v. invested people viewing the other person as an entire package. Especially, take a look at my quoting of The Collector and response thereof. If someone's honestly invested, they're going to ignore or even find interesting, non-perfect bodies, unless they're cold inside. If someone is having sex, purely for sex or is solely focused on the superficial, they're going to be able to compartmentalize a portion of their minds towards viewing the product as an object and focusing on technique v. emotions/entire package. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 You would be shocked? Why? I know many people who had roaring dating lives until they met someone who was a good partner; including my sister who is now eight years married. I assume you have not had many partners, which is fine, but what qualifies you to understand someone's emotional abilities who has been more promiscuous? I just don't understand, please explain. So your sister slept with hookers and hundreds of men? Link to post Share on other sites
Die Hard Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 The worst is when they say they want a man. What is a man? Men come in all shapes, forms and sizes. Its as stereotypical as me telling you I want a real woman. What is a real woman? What you want doesn't define that sex, it defines what YOU want. The gender man wasn't based off of one specific female's needs.I agree and reading these things about "real men" etc.., makes it just as hard to hang out here as women reading that men actually notice a woman's body. The responses in this thread pretty much spell it out. If we as men notice flaws, we're flawed men. Cannot be possible that we notice flaws and simply accept them. Maybe I'd do better here posting like Carhill. No offense Carhill. Link to post Share on other sites
sand26 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 So your sister slept with hookers and hundreds of men? hundreds of men,,, yes. hookers,,, i dont know answering questions with questions shows weakness, (just so you know) Link to post Share on other sites
mr.dream merchant Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I've learned to just ignore alot of the female posters on here. They're so far up the feminist pole they forgot how actual men think and how to interact with them. They're too busy high fiving each other up there preaching about what "real" men do. Lol yeah OKAY sister. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 hundreds of men,,, yes. hookers,,, i dont know answering questions with questions shows weakness, (just so you know) You realize a roaring dating life doesn't necessarily mean that a person has to sleep with every, single person they date, don't you? If so, there are serious emotional issues at hand. Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Especially, take a look at my quoting of The Collector and response thereof. If someone's honestly invested, they're going to ignore or even find interesting, non-perfect bodies, unless they're cold inside. If someone is having sex, purely for sex or is solely focused on the superficial, they're going to be able to compartmentalize a portion of their minds towards viewing the product as an object and focusing on technique v. emotions/entire package. I agree, but I'd also qualify that simply being interested in personality isn't always enough to find someone attractive, unfortunately. Just look at all the threads posted by both girls and guys who say they've found the perfect partner, except they're not attracted. Of course, when you've gotten far enough along in a relationship to be invested in it, then hopefully you find that person attractive enough, that seeing flaws you haven't seen before, won't be a big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I agree, but I'd also qualify that simply being interested in personality isn't always enough to find someone attractive, unfortunately. Just look at all the threads posted by both girls and guys who say they've found the perfect partner, except they're not attracted.I honestly question the investment, if they're no longer attracted. It's no longer a romantic connection, more like a friendship when it reaches this point. In essence, they've fallen out of love, never been in love and have intellectualized their mate selection too much. Link to post Share on other sites
mr.dream merchant Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Reading between TBF and Isolde's conversation is like watching two shrewd englishmen talk about fiscal policy with their ivory pipes in hand. "yesh yesh i shee.." Link to post Share on other sites
loveslife Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Jeez, people, This whole idea of "flaws" is total bull****!! There are "differences", but NOT "flaws". If you believe that a person can have PHysical "flaws" or "mistakes", then you HAVE to believe that somewhere out there, there is a woman or man, who is PHYsically perfect. Get a clue, there is no such thing as perfection. To use the cuisine metaphor, I like steak, my wife doesn't like red meat, so her idea of a perfect meal would be vastly different from mine. The idea of perfection is completely subjective and totally opinion. I have been with many women and I've never compared them (qualitatively) sometimes (quantitatively). Like, x has bigger breasts than y, not x has BETTER breasts than y. Try looking at ALL women or men as individuals, not as commodities. Wow, this is the response I wish I had given. Well said!! Is anyone listening? I used the word flaws in quotes because it was not the right word but I didn't come up with the right word. I think we're all just different. YES! Thanks for this post. Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Reading between TBF and Isolde's conversation is like watching two shrewd englishmen talk about fiscal policy with their ivory pipes in hand. "yesh yesh i shee.." I take this as a compliment of the highest order, actually. Link to post Share on other sites
Die Hard Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 You realize a roaring dating life doesn't necessarily mean that a person has to sleep with every, single person they date, don't you? If so, there are serious emotional issues at hand.You also realize that NOT sleeping with every single person you date doesn't necessarily make someone a good person, right? And that someone who is more selective could still have serious emotional issues, right? Link to post Share on other sites
mr.dream merchant Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Lol I wasn't trying to insult you. You two are actually a change of pace from gender bashing to intellectual input. I guess that's why it stands out. Everyone else has their gats in hand, you two are in your lazy-boys talking ethics, philosophy, and individuality. Thats wussup. Link to post Share on other sites
openbook08 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 "In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different":p Coco Chanel flaws schmaws! one persons trash is anothers treasure! Link to post Share on other sites
moman Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 My post about the sagging breasts was a joke...but I do appreciate women who take care of themselves. my current girl is cute, she has a beautiful body, perfect breasts, but a little extra flab around the middle. It doesnt' bother me and I think she's beautiful still, but I can't help but picture what would be if she were 10-15 lbs lighter. I don't compare either, but if I'm talking with the guys, I'll mention them time I bagged a girl with a perfect body, or some comments about nice features I've seen. I've also been out with female friends who love to compare men's penises and their performance in bed, so it's no different. Link to post Share on other sites
sand26 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 You realize a roaring dating life doesn't necessarily mean that a person has to sleep with every, single person they date, don't you? If so, there are serious emotional issues at hand. WTF are you even talking about dude? "Roaring dating life" was my polite way of saying promiscuous, you asking me if I realize what a roaring dating life means makes no sense since it was the language I chose to use. If you don't realize that, there are some serious mental issues at hand. Now, do you care to answer my very simple question? Why would you be shocked if people who have slept around a lot could bond with someone? I assume you have no personal experience at being a promiscuous person so I will leave my follow up question in this post too: What source(s) are you relying on for your opinion? thanks trial by fire, I am not trying to build animosity with you, just curious why you have come to your conclusions... thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 You also realize that NOT sleeping with every single person you date doesn't necessarily make someone a good person, right? And that someone who is more selective could still have serious emotional issues, right? Being a "good" person has nothing to do with sleeping around or not. Sex isn't about being good or bad. It's all in the way you view sex, whether you're looking at it as a vehicle to get off on and that's it, viewing it as a form of external validation mechanism or viewing it as something integral, wanted and desired between two people who care about each other. You're welcome to consider which works best for you, as I am. I don't see myself as a sperm receptacle, as my fiancé doesn't see me as such. I also don't need the act of sex to validate me as a sexual person or attractive. You decide which type of person you are and what you need to feel comfortable within your own skin. I made my decision a long time ago and haven't regretted it yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Lol I wasn't trying to insult you. You two are actually a change of pace from gender bashing to intellectual input. I guess that's why it stands out. Everyone else has their gats in hand, you two are in your lazy-boys talking ethics, philosophy, and individuality. Thats wussup. I know you weren't trying to insult us, in fact, I meant what I said that I was genuinely flattered by your vivid description. Link to post Share on other sites
Die Hard Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 whether you're looking at it as a vehicle to get off on and that's it, viewing it as a form of external validation mechanism or viewing it as something integral, wanted and desired between two people who care about each other.I view sex as all of the above, it's not one or the other. If anyone hasn't read my posts I'm loose sexually. I'll admit it but I get the feeling that some women here look down on that thinking that somehow that means something bad or that I disrespect myself or the women are disrespecting themselves(sperm comment). Here is a link with a quick read that will explain EXACTLY where I personally am coming from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/tg_sheppard/i_loved_them_every_one.html Link to post Share on other sites
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