Scarlett513 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I like to think I'm a nice and down-to-earth kind of girl. My last serious relationship was 2 years ago, but since I have had a few short-term things and done my share of dating. Basically I (like everyone) have been to hell and back. I feel like I am done with dating, but I am not opposed to casual sex. It's not something I have a lot of experience with, but I really feel like I need to separate the physical from the emotional (for now). Anyway, there are a few guys who are chasing me right now who I am 98% sure are players. I know this, I'm aware, and I don't want relationships with them. Would it be a mistake to have casual (but safe) sex with one of them, knowing the player rep? I'm pretty sure I could do it without getting hurt again since I am already aware of the situation, but I was wondering what others who have been in this situation would have to say.
era Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Well... Alot of women will become emotionally attached to a man they are having sex with. But if you are not like this, then sure go ahead, do what you want.
carhill Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Tell us about your last experience with casual sex and/or FWB. The past, absent marked alterations in your psychology, is an indicator of the future. If you've never had casual sex and generally don't consider it to be a part of your psyche, I doubt you will find it satisfying. Happy to be wrong
tkgirl Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I like to think I'm a nice and down-to-earth kind of girl. My last serious relationship was 2 years ago, but since I have had a few short-term things and done my share of dating. Basically I (like everyone) have been to hell and back. I feel like I am done with dating, but I am not opposed to casual sex. It's not something I have a lot of experience with, but I really feel like I need to separate the physical from the emotional (for now). Anyway, there are a few guys who are chasing me right now who I am 98% sure are players. I know this, I'm aware, and I don't want relationships with them. Would it be a mistake to have casual (but safe) sex with one of them, knowing the player rep? I'm pretty sure I could do it without getting hurt again since I am already aware of the situation, but I was wondering what others who have been in this situation would have to say. I tried something similar once... but my situation started off differently. I think did have feelings for the guy in the beginning, but quickly realized he was basically a "Player" and not someone I would ever want to be in a relationship with. I continued to sleep with him though because the sex was pretty good... and for a while I was happy with the situation. But later on I grew to disrespect him and even myself a bit... I knew I wanted more that just a casual thing and I felt a little "degraded"... does that make any sense? I finally had to walk away...
St. Nick Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 If you know it is only for sex and that's all you intend then there's no big deal. Just be safe though and good contraceptives.
Lucky_One Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Read the "club ho" thread, and it may make you re-think any decision to have a few drinks and go to bed with a man you meet in a club! Personally, I can't do the casual sex thing. Some of my friends can, and that is great for them - but it just isn't what my logical mind or my emotional heart can stand.
Trialbyfire Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 IF you can compartmentalize love and sex, then there's no reason why you can't do this. Perhaps you need to try it, to find out what you're capable of doing. Women try this and find themselves in the unenviable position of bonding and wanting more. The only problem is that in order to reel in a player, you can't have anything invested. In other words, you can't care in the least so it's just an intellectual challenge game. Even if you reel them in, you can't be guaranteed that you can ever trust them to remain monogamous. So at what point can you invest? None, so why bother?
neveragain2493 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Oh, players.. I agree, do what you want, but remember that guys talk. Especially players. Don't be surprised if he gets in touch with you in the future for the same thing.
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