EX keeps calling! What does she want? What do I say or do?

[NatoPMT]

haha, goats - that was a corker. again again.

 

if you can be that funny then you have to be on the right track

 

'I PUT HIS NAME MEANING YOU' wise - i am a boid, you fruitbat. mwah.

 

i am still sniggering.

[Goatsbreath]

Wiseluv: WHAT ARE YOU WORTH??

DO YOU DESERVE MORE OR LESS, IN A RELATIONSHIP!

 

Goat: More

 

Wiseluv: WHAT, I CAN'T HERE YOU! I SAID WHAT ARE YOU WORTH GOATBOY!

 

Goat: MORE,.........

 

..............I mean, Im worth alot

[NatoPMT]

note to both: stop making me laugh, i am supposed to be miserable

[sean001]

I'm sorry everybody for being out of touch. I was out of town on business for a few days and had some SERIOUS drama to digest right on the day I was leaving.

 

First of all, Goatsbreath, I have to say -- we are living parallel lives my friend. And I completely appreciate your pain. Your scene was so dramatic and I can relate because I had the same thing this week. I'll tell you what I'm doing, whether it's the right thing or not I just don't know anymore.

 

My birthday was on Sunday and that day she left two cards and a love letter on my car. I was completely surprised. The letter said she loved me and missed me and that she was sorry she made such a mess of things and that she is afraid that by the time she "makes her way back to me" I'll be gone. One of the cards told her how much she still loves me even though we're not together.

 

So I talked to her that day and stopped by her place. We spent some time together and it was SO NICE -- just like the old times. THere was no talk of the serious stuff, just some playful fun (nothing like THAT), but I left her place glad I saw her on my birthday and happy that it seemed she was warming up to me. She also told me that she had "made her decision" but that she was in a sticky situation with the guy she's seeing because she works with him and she's just planning on how to "let him down easy" so it doesn't make her work life uncomfortable.

 

The next day, she called me 3 times and then when I left work I called her, left a message on her cell phone, and asked if she wanted to grab dinner. She never called me back.

 

The NEXT morning, I got a POCKET CALL (her cell phone dialed my number by accident when she put it in her pocket) and GET THIS -- she was LEAVING THE GUY'S HOUSE THAT MORNING! I listened to the conversation, waited until she got to her car (and he wasn't there) and called her right back. I finally got all the answers I needed about what was REALLY going on and the seriousness of her situation. SHe basically fed me the same lines as Goatsbreath.

 

I played it cool, but as the day went on, I got devastated again. I kept hearing her leaving the house on the cell phone and talking to this other man. I was wrecked for a few days.

 

She called me the next day, but I never returned her call. I really have nothing to say anymore. I've battled with telling her how much it hurt, but she of course has to know this by now. I've battled with writing a letter saying "we can't talk for now until it doesn't hurt this much" and all that other stuff. But again, I just don't really know what to say.

 

So instead, I decided to date. I have one lined up next week. I'm not going to jump into anything, but I don't see any good in me waiting around anymore. I don't even think I have the willingness to tell her how I feel anymore. She's been playing the game of stringing me along until she sees whether it's worth it to come back because things aren't working out with the "new" man. I'm just not willing to be here anymore.

 

Of course, I dread if I'll have the strength again to not talk to her if she calls. If she does, maybe I'll tell her exactly how I feel. Or maybe not. I really don't know what to do, except I think avoiding it all completely seems a must at this point. I can't go from hope to devastation in a 24 hour period again. It's just not fair to me and she obviously has little consideration for my feelings at this point.

 

I really don't want to "cut this cord" and I worry by not calling her back that she will be unwilling to talk to me too. But I can't imagine she wouldn't understand after going through this kind of a week. And of course, if she really loves me, I would think that one non-return call this week (the day after finding out that horrible news) would not be the end-all and be-all of her coming back to me. She's just going to have to work a little harder to convince me to stay in this situation.

 

It's crazy.

 

So sorry I've been out of the loop. This is my latest update.

[NatoPMT]

Sean - good to hear from you - appalling circumstances though - what did she actually say during this conversation you overheard?

 

you 2 are living in parrallel universes

 

i have one thing to add to what wise said to me but actually to goats, and thats that i doubt dating will give you the comfort you need right now, for me, the best thing is to be on my own until i am over the torment because in the past i have dated and all its done for me is leav ethe hurt to fester deeper - which has led to lasting frustrations that have caused me to mess up the next relationship. you have to do whats right for you, and if thats the best thing to do, go for it but dont hide the demons away as they have a nasty habit of prodding you later in the day when you least expect it.

 

stupid demons

 

sooo sorry this happened, she needs to sort herself out big time.

[Goatsbreath]

Hey sean, good to here from you again. So let me get this straight. What did you here her say on the phone with this guy. Did the truth come out because you overheard it on the phone or did the truth come out during the next five minutes when you called her in her car. She opened up and confessed? She told you how important he was?

 

Its hard to judge the situation with these key factors missing from the picture. She may seriously be into you. I honestly think you guys have a chance but thats because Im living something so messed up that anything besides THIS seems promising.

 

Although- parallel lives may be possible. My situation may just seem so much more pathetic because Im a few days ahead of you or something. Maybe you are me and I am in the future going to tell you whats going to happen next. If its true- Its not good sean, its not good at all.

 

Anyhow- Im left with this question. I know Im going to get yelled at but I have to ask. Should I leave my situation like it is.......with the "I HAVE GROWN TO HATE YOU," left there. Then she hangs up the phone. Cus, thats where Im at.....still at this point. Is this a good place to be. Or should we end it peaceful. I know if I end it either way I will question it, like if I ended it nice I would be thinking maybe I should of gone out with a bang. What do you think?

[NatoPMT]

i wanted to say that she could still be into sean too - but i thought id get shouted & it might be wrong to give false hope so thats why i wanted to know what was said. i should say what i think in future.

 

are you asking for justification to call her when you ask if you should leave it like that? i dont reckon its a good place to be, i think you have to be able to forgive someone for all the pain they have caused before you will be genuinely happy, and that if you make peace it may be easier to obtain.

 

i dunno, what do i know eh.

[Goatsbreath]

Hey, would you guys visit my thread at self improvement and personal well being........its titled> have to find myself. It sort of quickly explains the nature of my relationship with my X. I know she did alot of bad things, esp. with all the head games and stuff. You know- telling me one thing but acting on another even though she would be saying things like..... I love you, I dont know why I treated you like that....and bla bla. I just want to know what you guys think of the theorys floating around there.

[sean001]

well, goat, she told me that she thinks he's "a great guy" and that none of this was "his fault" and that she is not going to "destroy his life" by letting him down hard. She also alluded to the fact that "by the time she comes back, I'll be snatched up." She told me that she doesn't know when she is going to end it, although she thought it was unfair to him that she was "thinking about me" when she was with him.

 

I asked her directly if she stayed at his house that night. She admitted to it. I had suspected for some time that she was sleeping over there because of these long stretches of time where she would never be online and where she would never call me back until she seemed to be in her car (and alone).

 

I just don't believe her anymore. Not that she is intentionally doing any of this -- but it all sounds like a serious game of manipulation, even if she is not consciously aware of it.

 

I also am continuously struggling on whether I would even WANT her back after all this. I mean, I know she's been with another man and she really went about this whole process in a hurtful, and I would think, immature way. I just think, like you Goat, that I've gotten caught up in the "control" and the "chase" and that this really isn't "love" the way it is supposed to be.

 

And I just don't really know what to say at this point. I'm still thinking a letter in a few days might suffice. But in all honesty, I don't want to call up, get her voicemail, and force my head to start racing that she is over his place like last time if she doesn't call me back for a couple days. I just can't seem to put myself in that situation.

[Jiggly 2K3]

Amigo.

 

"I know she's been with another man"

You mean she slept with this guy?

 

Seriously, about 3 months ago my girlfriend, who I loved dearly for over a year and a half, dumped me. I wouldn't let go off her, and she treated me a hell of alot better than your ex treats you. Anyways, when I Was still moping about the breakup, one of my co-workers (he is abit older, and VERY jaded) gave me some advice. From prior conversations, I knew he had gotten burned badly when he was younger, and he now treats women like meat. Normally, I wouldn't take his advice because of this, but he offered me a gem...take a step back and look at what is going on. Look at the situation from the third person point of view. Don't consider the past, don't consider any old promises, and DON'T consider YOUR emtoions. Look at the situation as f you were a bystander, as if you were on the outside looking in...Doesn't look so good, does it?...You're being treated like sh*t. PLain and simple. If this girl actually has the balls to tell you that this other guy doesn't deserve to get hurt, but she is oblivious to the fact that she is basically killing you, what does that say about her and about how she feels about you? I mean yeah, this other guy doesn't desevre to get hurt, but the fact of the matter is she dragged him into it, and now she doesn't want to hurt him at your expense. Walk away man. Walk and don't look back. Ever. Walk away knowing you are the better person. Period.

 

Its funny how people hold onto that which hurts them dearly when they can easily control the situation and simply just let go. Sean buddy, you are holding onto something which is tearing you up. Let it go man. This girl is MANipulating you! I know it is tough to let go of someone who was once so close to you, someone who you wish was still there. I know because I am still kinda going through the same thing.

 

I mean, yeah, maybe she will have a change in heart, and she'll realize she lost the greatest guy in the world. But after all this (the way she has treated you and the situation) has happened, would you want her back? Even if you did take her back, do you think it would be the same after she was with another guy? You can either wait and let her completly digest your heart and then hand it back to you in a brown paper bag, or you can walk away with whatever remnents of it she hasn't chewed up, and know there will be someone else who will actually care for it and nuture it back to good health.

 

I still can't believe she said that to you...

[wiseluv34]

hi guys,

sean and goats...listen the hell to jiggly! you guys really do sound pathetic to me...like totally! and i'm saying this because i'm real. you guys need to take heed to what Jiggly is saying, he's REAL AND NONPATHETIC. stop being weak. only strength wins!!!!!

i don't understand why sean and goats holding on to women who's playing the 2-timing game? you must have low self-esteem, b/c you're afraid to move on to a lady who can be true to you. obviously, you 2 don't understand what we've been saying here lately. like, stop playing the fool, and move on. and i''m not shouting. peace

bigbelm, what's boid mean?? school me, pls!

P.S. sean, that was a SIGN for you to follow, when that skank of yours cellphone just so happened to go off....., it went off so that you could hear that she's not losing the other guy, whom she care so much to protect! obviously, she's just stringing you along, just in case this man of hers end up dumping her 2-timing a**. GET REAL, SEAN...MOVE IT ALONG..YOU'RE BLOCKING THE TRAFFIC.

[sean001]

Well wiseluv, I always appreciate your advice, even if today it was not very comforting... I realize how messed up this situation is, but it is hard to let go of it. And it's hard for me not because of low self esteem, because I'm fine in that department, but because she helped me through the worst grief of my life-- losing my father and my best friend. In some ways, letting go of her means letting go of them because she was a close connection. I think that's why this has been more difficult than other breakups I've been through.

 

I've walked away from many relationships without ever looking back, and in many situations it did not even go to this level of pain. But the timing of this situation has made it difficult. When someone shows you that compassion, caring, and understanding during such a tragic time, it's easy to wish that person back. I haven't seen that woman in a long time, which is why I'm at the end of my rope in this situation.

 

I just need the perspective it is not THAT woman I am letting go of, but the woman that she is now -- cold, uncaring, inconsiderate, and manipulative. I'm getting there, but it's taking some time. She keeps trying to contact me in subtle ways -- leaving me voice messages, forwarding me stupid joke emails, etc. I just got one today, but I haven't bothered to respond. I just don't know what to say anymore.

 

Well, Jiggly, I really don't know if she slept with him or not, but I know she slept over his house -- I mean, what better conclusion to draw?

 

But it really doesn't matter anyway -- I mean, she's obviously not working back to me if she's sleeping over his house. And until I can answer the question -- would I even take her back after all this -- I can't really talk to her. I believe the answer is no. But I suspect there is more drama in store.

[wiseluv34]

sean, i'm sorry. i mean well with the advice i give ya. you don't have to take it, but....i just want to help ease your pain, b/c you sound like your in so much..pain.

ALSO, your circumstance sounds exactly, like me and the man i had to leave. it's weird, like goats said about your issue exacting his, it's the same with me. your issue, is ALOT like mine. like i told you on one of my notes, my ex-man was with me...until after he lost his parent and buddy (whom passed away, just like your parent and buddy). well, i did exactly like your ex-girl did..i stuck by him, even after he shut me out...i went to him when i knew he was hurting, b/c of his losses. and just like you did your ex, he just ignored my compassion and comfort that i gave him. he "froze" up on me, i guess just like you..his feelings are tangled up, and he just wasn't showing me the attention that i needed. he told me he wasn't "ready" for me, after his losses..he just shut me out after i stayed there, by his side..during his difficult times...i offered my time to him, but he just ignored it.

so sean, you can see the similiarity in our issues?? we're going through the same things. just like you and goats. i just hope that my ex don't come back to me after i've moved on with someone else. it's possible, the fact of me moving on.

sean, i can kinda tell ya, how your ex is probably feeling, and what probably happened while you were "going through", when you just shut her out, i believe that she (your ex), probably chose to protect her feelings from any more hurt from you. YES, she cared for you, b/c if she didn't..then she wouldn't have been there, when you needed her to be. but, back then...you took her for granted, you figured she'd always be there for you....so you just misused her. well, women have feelings too, we can get lonely and vulnerable also. so, i figure this man that your ex is seeing now....entered her life when she needed someone, when you shut her out...i believe that her new man showed her some love and attention, that she couldn't receive from you..back then.

see, sometimes...it's a little too late, to get the one you love back into your life. and when it is too late, then it's best for you to just move on....and just wish the best for your ex. stop tormenting her, and let her go! sure, she probably would like to have you back, but she now have a NEW life, with a new man...so you should just accept this...and let her know that it's over, between you 2. sometimes, it's meant to happen like this...maybe God have someone better for you. you won't truly know, until you let your ex go, just let her have her new life, tell her that you wish her the best in life, and that you 2 had a relationship that you'll always remember. but sean, if you TRULY love this girl, then you'll just let her go, and give her reasons to let you go, b/c she has had a CHANGE OF HEART. things will never be the same for you 2, b/c it's a "little too late". holla & i wish you the best! i also wish goats the best!

(same goes for you, goats..if you really love your ex, then you should let her go, and remember the past as it is. holla

[NatoPMT]

much as i had hoped she would come good, i am with jiggly & wise too - you were right - you dont have anything to say to her now. i am a bit riled up by that - its outrageous that she act as though his feelings are of more importance than yours, i thought she'd said before you heard the pocket call she wanted top be with you??? if thats the way she treats people she cares about shes toxic. you were meant to find out - someones looking after you.

 

if she helped you through that grim time when you really needed her, thats what her purpose was for you - now its someone elses purpose to love you and treat you with an owls hoot of respect, the quicker you move on from this, the quicker youll be ready to move onto that.

 

if shes trying to get through to you now - whats she saying on those voicemails - being all breezy like shes hasnt kicked you in the knacks? she doesnt even REALISE what a bag she is being to you.

 

you are way cool sean, too cool for her

 

wise, prepare to be educated === boid is an accented way of saying bird, ie woman. you yanks dont know how to speak properly.

 

goats, will mosey over to your post now and have a shufty.

[sean001]

so far as "moving on" goes... I should say that I haven't put my life on hold... I go out almost every night with my friends and tonight am going to a nice dinner tonight with a girlFRIEND... also, some opportunities to date have come up and I'm going take them.

 

The thing that bothers me about this whole situation is that she was warming up to me, basically told me she was going to come back "but not just yet...." (what's that?), and then the next night sleeps over this guy's house. It's a game as far as I'm concerned and I probably would have moved on a long time ago if SHE (not me) hadn't kept holding on. I mean, of course I love her and if she says "I'll be back" then I want to believe her and make the mistake of getting my hopes up.

 

But I just don't believe her anymore.

 

So far as things go with you Wise, I hope that you just won't play these games if he DOES ask for another chance. I mean, if my ex had said "It's too late, I can't go back, let's be friends." It would have been a lot easier. Instead, I got all the drama I've been talking about on here.

[Goatsbreath]

If people could just be honest in the first place about their feelings things would seem a whole lot easier. I mean sure, the truth hurts sometimes- but it hurts a whole lot more when you have to dig it out from underneath a bunch of lies.

 

Sean said: But in all honesty, I don't want to call up, get her voicemail, and force my head to start racing that she is over his place like last time if she doesn't call me back for a couple days. I just can't seem to put myself in that situation.

 

Err.....you stole those words out of my mouth sean. I here you 100% there and thats kind of where I am. I called her like the tool that I am yesterday and it sucked. She said she was heading out the door and she would call me back at around midnight. I never heard from her sense. It sucks, I tried to call again because I am not just a tool- Im a set of tools. I hate it. Im sure she is with him even though she will deny it.

 

Anyway- this is the thing sean. Until around that recent encounter where I caught her over his house we hadn't spoken for like 3 weeks. I was starting to feel not bad, I was wakeing up in the morning and thinking how I was going to utilize the day. Not how the day was going to send me into a crazy depression and how I was going to use every second to question things and analyze the depth of her words. I was living for the first time in a while. Then this happened. I seen her. I seen her over there. Then I slept with her. It makes no sense when you put those events on a time line and call it the same day. So here I am. Crazy. I want to here from her, I want to call again and again because this is so uncharacteristic of our realationship. You just dont understand how the person that was telling you how much they loved you could then completely shut you out. BUT- this is the case.

 

So my friend sean- this is what Im doing. I got a brown paper bag, some gas and a lighter. Then I got the urge to go potty. Lol- no Im just kidding. For real- I have to get back to that place where I was. Even if she calls now- Im not answering. It takes like 2 weeks or so to start to get there but once Im there its worth it. You stop thinking about the calls and your not haunted by what she is doing every time you call and she don't answer. I made the mistake of calling just once during this time however- she didn't answer. Then I call again the next day- no answer. THen I start down the crazy path again. She called me back during this day and I asked if she was seeing that guy- she said no but ofcourse I didn't trust her- thats when my crazy gut feeling made me drive to her house the next day after work. She lives about 45 minutes from me. Well thats when I found her at his house. Anyway- point is- I didn't know what a mistake I was making by calling. WIsh I could still be there- 4 weeks without contact. Now I have to start over-

 

I know you want some kind of comfort when you call- so do I. It just seems like if you call maybe you can get the quick comfort that don't take 3 weeks to obtain. But really- Does the call ever get you the results you hoped for. No!

 

Starting now sean- lets do it together........1 day at a time.........lets keep posting but not going to much into it....lets not dwell.......lets just move

 

If travel is searching and home whats been found- Im not stopping!! -Bjork

[wiseluv34]

hi sean & goats....i just wanted to say that you guys can do it! i feel so sad, just listening at the rejection that you 2 are experiencing. i hate rejection, which we all experience sometimes. just pls don't figure every woman to be like your ex's. i just think you guys are spending too much time on the "wrong" ladies.

way to go sean!!!! i'm glad that you're dating and going out, it helps just to be around family and friends. they can encourage. as for goats, it sounds like you're worse off, then sean. you're still calling her, and she's still ignoring the fact that you love her. you deserve better, goats...just do like sean..go out and date more women!!! yee-haw HAVE FUN, YOU DESERVE IT! you guys are sweet men, i can already tell..if you weren't gentlemen, then you 2 would be f*cking whichever ladies you want, because you're young, single and free! ( i don't know about goodlooking, hadn't seen that part)

sean, my girlfriend and i were just on the phone chatting a/b relationships. she's been hurt soooo much, by her ex guy, til' she's afraid to trust anymore. i just encouraged her, by telling her that there's someone just for her, in the future. sometimes, we have to go through bad ones, just to get to the "good one". so, be encouraged sean and goats! tomorrow's always a brighter day, you will grow stronger with each passing day!

and sean, IF my ex do come back to me...(i was just telling my g/f), that IF he do(big if), then i don't know how i'll react. b/c i feel like he took me for granted a/f we became so close. he just shut me out, literally. i'm very resistant to him right now, meaning i don't want to be in his presence right now, so if he was to call me, i'd probably make him wait...just to let him see what i went through. it's up to him, time is passing and i AIN'T WAITING!!! life's too short to put on hold.

goats, pls don't call her anymore....be encouraged and at each new day, repeat these words.."i deserve better than rejection".

holla, PEACE OUT! MUCH LOVE TO YA!

[sean001]

after reading goat's reply and urs wiseluv, I decided not to really get all into the details anymore with this situation. Yes, the ex keeped calling. And finally, after several calls and emails, I did speak to her.

 

I wasn't too nice. But I was firm.

 

And is it really that important what I said? Probably not. The bottom line is that there is only one way I will be in touch with her again -- if she dumps the other man. Then *maybe* we could work something out.

 

What more is there to say? As each day goes by, the thought becomes less and less. Of course, I'm sure I'll get to a nice level and then she'll call again and say "I'm here!!!"

 

I wonder if by then I'll ever want to go back to this situation.

[Goatsbreath]

Well, its been 3 days or so sense I called or heard from her. I can't say it is easier yet but its better then calling and sending my head into a crazy jealous rage. I think when you call you realize how little control you have over the situation. Now that I have not called I do not have to deal with that recogniton every day. I have control of something more important- my own life!

 

Now sean- do whats good for you. If you feel you still have to talk about it and that makes you feel better then post what your thinking.., whats happening. Im just saying for me- I think I have talked about it enough and now its just time to move forward. I don't want to stay put anymore. Talking about it day after day makes me feel stationary. Everybody has to do their own thing however- I'll still listen and respond to your thoughts.

[sean001]

and i actually felt the same way... I mean, I kind of didn't even feel like posting the most recent drama up there, but I just wanted to touch base and let everyone know how I'm doing.

 

So I'm with you, goat. If anything changes, we'll touch base. But it sounds like we're both moving on and looking forward to OTHER things and situations....

[wiseluv34]

Sean and Goats, how are you? sounds like you are both getting stronger. With each passing day, you'll regain your strength..and your feelings will begin to harden, towards your ex.

Remember: time heals all wounds. keep giving yourselves time, you'll be proud.

Like me, Sean..i kept "calling" after my ex-guy informed me, that he didn't want a relationship, after we'd hung out on many occasions. so, it takes a while to move on. you can do it!

goats can do it, too! you aren't getting up and calling her anymore, so now you're giving her a chance to wonder what's up? she'll wonder why you haven't gotten in touch with her...you're letting her know that you have other priorities. WAY TO GO GUYS!!!

Sean, you sound sooooooo sweet, i just know there's someone special out there for both you and goats. just continue to allow yourself a chance for happiness. b/c your past experiences with love, doesn't count...you were just "learning" how to grow..for real future love.

TRUE LOVE NEVER FAILS...IT'S EVERLASTING..remember this, Sean and Goats. if your ex's do have a change of heart, and if they do come back to you ready to be true...then that's your GIRL'S!! it will then be proven to be, REAL & TRUE, EVERLASTING LOVE.

(now that i haven't been in touch with my ex, and he haven't reached out to me neither...it kinda hurts b/c he had me thinking that he adored me...i played "the fool", and it hurts b/c i liked him. but, my father left me at a early age...and he ended up getting killed out there. that's why i'm not good with rejection..b/c i was raised up 'knowing' it. my dad never returned to tell me how much he loved me. instead, at 13 yrs old, i saw him in a casket..

i just can't stand people who leave for no reason at all. and now, my feelings have truly hardened towards my ex-guy. i almost hate him, because he just left for no good reason.

holla ( i have to go, i'm bawling!) i'm sorry.. (holla, Sean)

[sean001]

oh and wise, would you mind giving me your email address? I want to send you something.

 

And with your situation, there is nothing worse than not having that final "talk" to clear the air about things. Maybe if you feel strong enough, you can have it someday. Interestingly enough for me, I just had a "final" talk a few days ago with one of my ex girlfriends -- except this was 7 years after the fact!!! (we went out for 5 years).

 

It was actually very healing. But I know sometimes life doesn't always give you the chance to do that.

[wiseluv34]

Yes, sure Sean...i'll give ya my e-mail address, i'll send it to the address you gave me.

i'm so happy for you! you're growing strength up under your feet, and that's a FANTASTIC start!

that sounds amazing, that you related to one of your past ex's, it's good to be friends after the break-up, if possible. but, i dont desire to contact this fella again, it's time for him to make a move...if it's to be made. but, thanks for the advice! i always like your advice, Sean.

by the way, i dated a guy for a/b 4yrs., and after we split up...we came back together as friends...of course it didn't work b/c he wanted to be intimate with me, and we had great s*x in the past, so i can't stand being just his friend . so, sometimes i guess we just can't be even friends with our ex's, it was best for he and i to just move on. of course, i'll greet my ex's whenever we meet on the streets, etc.

sean, are you dating a special lady???

i'm proud of you!!! stay sweet & holla! (my name's Rita).

[sean001]

So I figured that after my firm "don't contact me until you make some changes" discussion that I wouldn't hear from her. WRONG. Just a few days later I started getting little IM messages (they were offline I hadn't replied back) and then she invited me out to breakfast! What???

 

I didn't know what that meant, but I wasn't prepared to write her back. However, by the end of the day, I figured that MAYBE she DID want to speak to me about something so I wrote and asked her if something was on her mind.

 

Bad move, as when I wrote back, she was online at the same time (and I didn't know because her name always comes up online even when not home). The bottom line is that we chatted for a few minutes and nothing had changed. Of course, as usual, she didn't really want to discuss anything (so why the invitation?).

 

Afterward, I wrote her a long email listing out all the ways she messed with my head over the last two months and told her that's why she can't contact me. PERIOD. Of course the next day she wrote me back and we talked about the same thing again. She's already calling me "the one that got away." She's nuts, but she still had no answer for me about anything.

 

I thought I was pretty firm and clear again and I thought she understood. But will I not hear from her again? I doubt it. This is a neverending drama where I ask her not to contact me and she just won't let go. Then when I yet again explain the reasons why, I just get sucked right back into it. My job here is to prevent myself from getting sucked back into it. Granted, I do want to talk to her at some point, but only when it is less painful.

 

Anyway, here is my most recent update of drama. I guess this is what people mean when relationships just fizzle out instead of a big bang...

[wiseluv34]

hi sean, sounds like your ex is recognizing a Good THING. she's figured out that you're moving on from her, therefore.....she's trying to prevent it from happening. i think that she want to hold on to you, just in case....ya know, in case her boyfriend gives her the BOOT.

i'd block her e-mail, phone #, etc...because you need to heal your wounds from this one, and let her go.

apparently, she isn't interested in going back into a relationship with you right now, b/c she isn't talking about this to you, and she hasn't left her guy, like she said she would do (liar). so, sean....to spare more heartache, i think you should just block her, so she can't contact you again...at least until you've gotten over her.

she should leave you alone, b/c it isn't fair. she knows, that you still love her..... but you can't have her, because of the fact that she's with someone else. she's full of bullsh*t., if u ask me.

c-ya.. (keep us posted!)

good luck.