nothappyjan Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I am 22 been dating a guy thats 29 since the first week of Jan. We have yet to have any relationship talk or exclusivity talk but I am not seeing anyone else and I am fairly positive he isnt either considering all his spare time adds up and he is very open about what we do and keeps his weekends free for me. But I want to know where we are going I have a feeling he wont bring it up, he seems quite nervous around me. We havent had sex only kiss, but hes quite affectionate and always holding my hand, arm around me etc . Also he doesnt communicate often with me, I feel like I need him to talk to me more and see each other more, but I'm worried bringing up these issues will scare him. Do you think I should take more inititaive in contacting him, I just dont want him to think i'm being needy, i would be more comfortable doing the initiating if I knew where we stood but because we have no definition I dont want to be the one starting the texts, calls etc. p.s we met cause we worked together last yr for a couple of months and when I left he maintained contact with me for 3months and then asked me out around new yr time.
Scarlett513 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I think maybe try to relax a little for the moment. It hasn't been all that long, and a lot of times exclusivity just happens naturally on its own. If you want to talk to him about better communication, I think that's fine but I would put a positive spin on it. Instead of going on about what you need, just tell him you really enjoy seeing him and wish you could see more of him. It might tip him off to how you're feeling without pressuring him. I understand that you want to know where things are going, but I think it's early for either of you to be able to predict the future. Just go slow - a relationship is a lot of work, and it's not worth it unless the guy is really worth it. So I'd say take your time getting to know him, and decide whether you want to be exclusive with him before asking him if he wants to be exclusive with you.
BobSacamento Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I think this is pretty standard procedure and normal. You go through different phases during a relationship. You want to step it up a notch now, become a little serious. So you have "A Talk". If he runs, then he doesn't want to be serious. Funs over and now you don't have to waste any more of your time.
Blackberries Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 It;s been almost 3 MONTHS and you still haven't had "the talk?". I'd be done with that...can't be kept hanging like that.
Author nothappyjan Posted March 25, 2009 Author Posted March 25, 2009 well for an update we went out sat night and i havent had any contact from him since. I thought maybe cause i let him do most of the initiating for contact that I would send him a msg cause i figure I should feel more comfy doing that after 3months and i was worried why he hadnt been in contact and that was 5hrs ago and he hasnt replied to the msg and i sent it when he finished work at 2:30 so i know he would have been able to reply. It was a nice msg just seeing how he was going etc i'm pretty upset that he hasnt even replied or taken a minute out of his day to even sms me since our last date (4 days ago) and surely after 3months dating and 8months knowing each other he could at least properly break up with me if thats his intention! not just ignore me....i feel so rotten
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